Fertility Network UK
13,882 members22,827 posts

Does negative thinking ruin your chances?

So I’m only 5 days into the 2 ww (4th time) and I’m doing the yo-yo I usually do. I try to think positively and concentrate on the little emby and tell it to make itself at home and bed-in and that we’ll be great parents and love it very much if it hangs on. Then the next moment in self preservation i think of all the things I can do the day after the test when it’s not worked- do some exercise, eat blue cheese (counter to the exercise I know !), order my favourite wine for Christmas. Then the cycle starts again. I guess I’m looking for reassurance- have anyone been convinced it’s not going to work and gladly been proved wrong ie negative thinking wont ruin it all or do I need to think positively all the time (not sure I can) to keep little emby going?? Any thoughts welcome!

13 Replies
oldestnewest

Definitely me. On my third shot I was extremely negative and didn’t believe it would work.

I thought negatively the whole way through, I tried not to but it was hard.

Obviously being positive is more beneficial to yourself as it is horrible having a negative attitude but we’re only human! I don’t think it’ll affect your little embie.

I think it’s only natural that we prepare ourself for what if it doesn’t work, the motto I kept usIng on my third go which I kept saying to my partner and he was cracking up hearing it all the time lol was.... Hope for the best and expect the worst. That doesn’t sound a great motto but it worked for me because it was like I was mentally preparing myself for a negative result

Good luck and hope your little embie has snuggled in nice and tight 😘 xxx

Reply

Ah thanks for your advice Amanda86! Glad I’m not the only one. I am trying so hard to be positive but i am literally flipping between the 2 thoughts! I like your mantra though. I’ll try telling myself that!!! Hope all is well for you on your journey? Xx

1 like
Reply

It’s hard but just keep reminding yourself that it can happen 🙂

All well thank you, it was third time lucky for us (my most negative feeling cycle) xxx

Reply

I don’t believe your thoughts will affect the outcome. There’s no evidence they do. Remember, it’s science, not magic! The 2ww is just really really hard. 😔

Reply

Thanks Lizzie!! I should b used to the 2 ww but it doesn’t get any easier. I’m still flip flopping on thoughts!! I’m trying to use Amanda’s advice of hoping for the best but expect the worst! Hope your own journey is ok? Xx

Reply

I feel the same about the flip-flop thinking! Mine changes every 12 hours 😆 I’ve talked to a counsellor about this and she said the same as other people on here about there not being evidence that stress / thinking affect the outcome & that it’s science. She made a good point- that everyone at fertility clinics are stressed but there are still so many successes. I wish you all the best 😀 💖🤞✨ xx

1 like
Reply

Sorry for the late reply! It’s been a manic wkend with family visiting and work! Makes u remember life just has to go on! Thanks for the advice and it helps to know people think there’s no science to say negativity can affect it- makes me feel better😊 and you’re right it sounds like we’re all pretty stressed on their tough journey. Thanks again for the reply and good luck on your journey too! Hope the occ health helps! Xx

Reply

I am exactly the same! In the 2ww I am constantly thinking of things I can do to make myself feel better if it doesn’t work, that’s really how I ended up with my horse after my 3rd iui failed!!

I am going to try Hypnotherapy in my 2ww next time. I think that positive thinking has to help, so that’s my plan. I also downloaded a mindful ivf app and if I feel negative, I’m just going to listen to that.

Good luck!

Reply

Oh good luck to you too! Keeping everything crossed and keep me posted how you go. Glad I’m not alone- very reassuring! It’s just a mind field of emotions. I think I’ll be eating cheese, pate and wine till the cows come home if it doesn’t work!! Good luck again! Xx

Reply

I’m thinking the same!!! Baked Camembert, pate and red wine of it doesn’t work! Am so relieved when another day goes by and am another day close to OTD! Good luck xxx

Reply

Oh yeah! Camembert and wine!! 😋 at least it’s a good time of year to enjoy food and wine if it doesn’t work! We should know by then at least! I had a dry Xmas last yr as I was a few weeks later in the cycle so didn’t have scan till new year! Here’s to this yr! Good luck to you too xx

Reply

It's so difficult to stay positive and I think you're so right about negativity being linked to self preservation! But, I once read that being negative doesn't make it hurt any less so you might as well be positive! Good luck x

Reply

Thanks for the advice! And your right about it not hurting any less! We can’t win can we!! I’ve had such a busy wkend too it makes you realise life just has to go on!! Xx

Reply

You may also like...