Why do embryologists sound so chirpy when they're giving negative news?

[_MrsC]

So I got the call today that dear little special emby that wasn't doing so well has stopped doing anything. It was fine as I expected it but the embryologist sounded so bloody chirpy on the phone. She finished the call with have a nice day! I mean seriously? I'm going to have a blooming lovely day thanks as now I know that if this 2ww doesn't work out, hubby and I have to make some massive decisions and consider spending the best part of £8k on trying to achieve what most people seem to do by blinking.

Anyone else experience this?

xxx

[Cinderella5]

Oh dear God! I don't know what's worse getting crap news from a chirpy embryologist or in my case crap news from a completely down trodden embryologist that gives zero hope!! I guess shit news is just....... shit news! Oh and that's us now onto spending a fortune too!!🤤😮!! Big hugs!!xx

[_MrsC in reply to Cinderella5]

Oh Hun. You're right, it's hard to say which is worse. I'm so sorry you're having to look at private options now too. If you find some good options do please let me know. Sending you a big hug. xxx

[Cinderella5 in reply to _MrsC]

Ahhh it's Ok, I suspected it was just around the corner!! We've had one too many fails now so having to look at different options!!xx

[Hidden]

Hey Mrs c yeah I find them hard to take sometimes.

I have had 4 cycles now and each time I could have screamed during the call. Either very vague or as you say insensitive.

I know their job must be hard and no easy to deliver some of the news but it would be nice to not just feel like a number xx

[_MrsC in reply to Hidden]

That's it. It was almost like a telesales call. Xxx

[Clare_lou]

Bloody hell, what's wrong with these people?! Sending you hugs xxx

[_MrsC in reply to Clare_lou]

Thanks. Xxx

[7AVA]

Sorry to hear that but I've still got everything crossed for the two with you right now 🤞 🤞 xx

[_MrsC in reply to 7AVA]

Thanks Hun. x

[London7]

That's so insensitive. You just sometimes wonder - how can these people be so oblivious to the emotions of the women and men they are dealing with? Hopefully the two on board are doing brilliantly in there xx

[_MrsC in reply to London7]

Thanks So much. x

[Mantaray75]

I also got told to 'have a nice day' when we'd gone from 8 eggs down to 1. Its just one of the many insensitive comments I've had during this whole miserable process. x

[_MrsC in reply to Mantaray75]

I'm sorry you had an insensitive call too. They clearly just don't know how to speak to women in this situation. Ironically, in my transfer room there was a midwife student who was about 19/20. She could see after we'd been told that they weren't looking great that I was trying to hold it together and was asking if I was ok. I was. Try grateful to her. xxx

[Cymru_girl84-85]

When I was told on a Friday that the only egg collected was immature and therefore unusable, the Embryologist concluded with 'have a good weekend". I thought to myself "I can't stop crying and I've got nothing to show for my £3.5k, I'll have a great one(!)"

[_MrsC in reply to Cymru_girl84-85]

Oh my goodness! I am so sorry! That is awful! The thing is if we actually say something back they'll just be like oh she's bitter. Well you know what maybe we are because this literally means the world to us. Sending you a huge hug Sweets. xxx

[Hidden]

I've told my clinic straight yesterday! I lost my temper at them and told them how they might do this daily but we don't and they are not clear or specific that when we arrived they had no idea what our fertility issue was as the hospital hadn't sent them our file, but since then I've had calls and instructions that are general, vague and in the case yesterday don't even relate to info I was waiting on a call back for! They rang to tell me all was fine and keep on with the nasal spray and so I told them No that's not what your supposed to be calling to tell me you're supposed to tell my the result of a blood test and if I should take an injection or not!!

I got the nurse manager and clinic director on the phone and detailed where they are messing up, from the badly written first contact letter to using terminology like "just do one" when talking about an injection that comes as "one" dose but over two boxes and vials - FFS

I told them it feels like they don't know us or our case or what they should be talking to us about most of the time!!

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

So now I think did it they don't care how they speak to me so I'm telling them straight - it's not good enough and your manner and your words are not up to scratch!

[bluewanderlust]

I am so sorry you have had this experience. I had the phone call a day after egg collection to tell me that out of the 10 eggs collected 8 were mature but only one had fertilised. I have to say that my embryologist that called me was a man and was extremely sensitive. He stayed on the phone and talked me through what had happened and why and asked at the end is "there anything else we can do to help etc". It is my first cycle and was surprised this had happened to us. But what I am trying to say is maybe look at using a different clinic? It took me a while to decide on mine and I had an awful first experience at an other well regarded clinic. I hope you feel better soon, its not nice when people don't really understand how much of an effect this whole situation has on us. Sending big hugs xxxxx

[Alice_W123]

After such news "have a nice day" sounds like a clinic policy.

In case of "bloody chirpy" I think that this is the only way not to "burnout" due such specific work.

Seriously, I could not stand having so many dead embryos (tens, hundreds) every day...

In other case you should be a blood thirsty maniac to handle such work.