I'm 42 and have no children. Met Mr Right finally mid 30s and didn't want to rush into having children (wow do I regret that silly decision now!)
We always said what will be will be. Cut to today we've been married 2 years and no pregnancies.
Since the summer I've been at docs etc and a month ago found out I have a small hydrosalpinx probably due to endo.
Consultant wants me to hit the hormone to stop monthly cycle as way of determining if endo rather than a laporoscopy.
I'm feeling suddenly angry, sad and full of regret about the whole scenario and have ended up in a mass of tears this morning on hearing he news my cousin and his wife are now expecting their first.
I don't know what to do for the best ...
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Kenny75
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Oh dear I feel for you, I really do. Like you I met my DH 6 years ago. I was aware that we both wanted children but after five years of TTC and nothing as well as being fobbed off by the NHS re our ages etc., we decided to do private IVF. it was only then that we found out that DH had motility issues and I have a fibroid which wasn't helpful. I can empathise as I reacted very badly to my sister and brother in law having their first. Take it one day at a time, use what info you have BUT do your research and homework. I am 44 and am doing my 2nd round of egg collections. You will find tonnes of support here, just be kind to yourself.
I literally don't know what to do next / where to start. My tears today (in private) were my first 'release' I think and I've realised this afternoon I'm a human being and have the right to feel sad etc.
Any tips on how to move forward would be great. I joined this site as apart from my husband and my mum I haven't spoken to anyone else about our recent 'news'.
Good luck with your journey. We're not sure we can afford private treatment and as I teach many pupils in care etc I'm not feeling like adoption would be for us ( maybe selfish, but honest).
Following me is fine by me. I don't often post but do try offer advice and support where I can. We initially dismissed private IVF because we thought that we would never be able to afford it. Since the NHS can't/won't help, we had no other choice. So I re-mortgaged my house and ended up with the capital. We have not told my DH's family as I don't get along with the MIL or BIL and it is no body else's business bar yours so tell people, don't tell people, it is entirely up to you.
Get your conditioned sorted first, then look at your options NHS/Private...visit clinics for meet and greet sessions, see what they have to offer etc. look at overseas clinics, look at local clinics etc. I have dismissed adoption, fostering, and surrogacy - if I can't have my own genetic child then we do without....you never know what you get when you adopt, foster etc....so I don't blame you for deciding against adoption.
Don't worry about the tears, I have shed a number of tears since my journey started, mostly in the shower so that nobody else knows.
Thanks. Lovely to have someone to 'talk' openly to as new to all this. I will defo keepypu posted
Great advice re visiting centres. We live so remotely on Devon I can bet they're all miles and miles away so will need to understand implications re time out of work etc.
Thanks also for recognising my adoption thoughts! When we've discussed this over the years at work (before the knowledge I now gage about my infertility) I'm usually made out to be Satan for admitting I couldn't do it!
There is no point of crying over spilled milk! Take it easy. We all have taken such decision in life because that was right and conducive to our lifestyle or life, whatever may be it at that particular time!. Although i was in early thirties and we gave few years before we began. Eventually due to MFF, we opted IUI.
There are other ways to experience the motherhood. Adoption is one. Apart from that believe your consultant, talk to other fertility centers to know in totality. Your treatment of Hydrosalpinx is far more important then anything else. If you turn out lucky then everything will be fine. IVF is a better solution to your age and concern.
I am in my first cycle of IVF (privately funded because I am 40 and my partner has a son from his previous marriage so we couldn't go NHS) and had my 5 day blasto transferred yesterday.
I also have severe endo. I was put on a hormone implant called Zoladex which totally got rid of my symptoms (it is basically like a reversible, chemical menopause).
What we found out when we started IVF was that the Zoladex is the same as the down-regulation you would go through anyway before stimulation, so we had a head-start and jumped straight into that phase. So, it may be worth talking to an IVF consultant, getting something to calm the endo and then proceeding from there.
I didn't find out about this drug until after 2 investigative laparoscopies (one for endo and one because the endo was so bad they wanted to take further biopsies to
make sure it wasn't ovarian cancer). I kind of wish we had just gone straight in with the Zoladex and the IVF 2 years ago, but hindsight is a wonderful thing.
Good luck with your journey, and remember it is absolutely fine to feel a whole gamut of emotions as you go through it x
Hey there, welcome to the forum Im was in a similar position to you! I didnt meet my hubby till I was 35 and we started a long distance relationship and he moved to be with me a year later. We got married 2.5 years ago and naively thought we try for a baby and it would happen.....nope that's not how it works for everyone! I have been lucky enough to have NHS funding as Im in scotland but sadly still chasing the baby dream and Im now 40 and using Donor Eggs. Im not familiar with endo or hydrosalpinx but I have seen others with these conditions on here and hopefully they can offer your some advice!
Remember its ok to be sad for you when you hear baby news. We've all been there and done that, probably several times over. We all know rubbish it feels so dont beat yourself up for it!xx
No worries! I've had so much warmth and support since I joined too and been here a long time now! Hope you're feeling a bit better and the bleeding has eased off!xx
Hey welcome to the forum! You will find lots of lovely, supportive people on here. Just to give a bit of my story as it may help.... After starting infertility investigations quite young (age 26) I was diagnosed with a hydrosalpinx on my left tube. My fertility doc said this would need to be removed before ivf as the fluid can be toxic to embryos and stop them implanting properly!
I had surgery to remove the tube and they found I had severe endometriosis. A further surgery to excise the endometriosis a year later and we were finally ready to start our ivf journey. My pain levels were horrendous before getting the endo removed, it’s only looking back now that I can see how much I was suffering!
I would definitely consider the laparoscopy if you think ivf is where you are heading, plus it really is the only way for a definitive endo diagnosis and treatment in my opinion.
Totally understand the upset over others pregnancy news, I used to feel such a mix of emotions (and still do). Here any time if you need a chat xxx
I have cried and so have lots of other people I know when they have heard pregnancy news. Its because you want it for you and you feel its not fair why should they get a baby when I don't?
Oh honey, I'm really sorry. My husband and I have a year trying. We do not have any babies yet and I know what it feels like. It's horrible to see how other women have what you want so much. I made my appointment for a fertility clinic a couple of days ago. It was not easy, but I found one that gave me confidence. Now I feel it is the best decision I have made in my life. Infertility is something very hard. My infertility was supposed to be caused by hormonal problems. Apart from that, we do not know anything else. I have faith that in the clinic they will be able to solve my problem.
I think you should first take care of your condition. I am not familiar with the endo, although I know people who suffer from it. Health is the most important thing and this is something very serious. I hope things can get better soon. Then maybe you can look for fertility clinics with good prices. Hope is the last thing that is lost. I send you my best wishes. Keep me informed of how things continue.
Be kind to yourself - this can be a brutal journey, especially when you’re deemed to be so ‘old’ in fertility terms. (You are NOT btw, so stay positive!). My story is similar in terms of age and not meeting Mr Right until later on. Been trying for 7 years, I have endo and we have also have swim team issues too 🙄. Get the endo sorted out first - it’s important to know what’s happening before moving forward. I hate that as older ladies were made to feel so panicky about taking a breath as we move through all of this.... take the time you need and believe it will happen.
Lots of very lovely and supportive people on here and you’re not alone, so just reach out and we’re here when you need us. We all understand where your heads at and how you feel. Take care xx
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I'm new here 😊
New here, hi everyone! 
New here, where do you begin the Journey?
So how do I ask my partner if he still wants children? 
Genetically incompatible 
