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My 1st round has ended with the start of AF 😢 devastated and empty

Hi everyone

After this round started soooo well, I'm now having AF on 9dp5dt. I have worse cramping than normal and AF is definitely now bright red. Have tried calling the clinic a few times and left a message but no nurses available now until Monday I guess. I'll do a test tomorrow, when I'll be 10dp5dt, but my OTD isn't til Tuesday when I'll be 13dp5dt. I know I don't even need to test to be honest. I feel so sad. I've cried and cried and now feel empty. I'm halfway home on a 3 hour drive 😢 just stopped at services. Been staying with my best friend for a few days. My other 4 day 5 embies got to day 6 but weren't good enough to freeze so I now have to wait in shock for round 2. Really felt positive in week 1. Any advice for how to now handle this and move forward?! I guess I'll have to wait a few months x

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I meant my 4 embies that got to day 6 didn't make it to the freeze

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Sweetheart its a tought time for you we all can understand.. you ll surely feel better tomorrow than today.. every passing day will make you feel better.. get back to home and relax as you have no 2ww stress.. big hugs for you..xx

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Thank you - it's better to know it's a no than the agonising awful stressful 4 hours I spent unable to sleep when I went to bed last night because of cramps and brown spotting yesterday xx

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I'm so sorry to hear this.

My first cycle didn't work either. Please cry as much as you need and then try to relax and enjoy the break before your next cycle. You might need to have at least three periods before you can begin again. I used my time between cycles to do all the things I couldn't do like have hot baths, enjoy seafood and get back into the gym.

I know it's hard but please stay hopeful for the next round. You are not alone xx

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Thank you - I certainly want to pass the wait with exercise to do something positive x

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All the best xxxx

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So sorry to read this, I also had to wait 3 months before I could start again but I would definitely say allow yourself to grieve for this loss and take time to re build your strength xx

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Thank you, I'm drained xxx

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I'm so sorry hun this is awful news. All I can advice is be good to yourself and grieve take time out cry then treat yourself and when your ready for round two come back fighting. Big hugs hun. Lots of love 💗🤗😘

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Thank you for your fab message. Xxx I will come back stronger x

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I'm glad to hear it hun. Xx

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I’m so devastated for you, I really hoped it would be good news, take some time to grieve x

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Thank you xxx

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Sorry to hear your first round hasn't gone well. My 1st round also failed and I had no embryos to freeze either. I did a fresh round on my second go and Im now 9 weeks away from my due date with a little girl so please stay positive. I had my 1st failed round at the beginning of feb this year but I was allowed to start my next cycle in the April so I only had 2 periods between my cycles x

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Thank you for sharing your hopeful and beautiful story laura, that has helped. I hope I'll be as lucky as you, congratulations and sorry for the pain you've been through to get there. Best of luck with your 9 weeks to go!!! X

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Sending hugs; stay strong lady xx

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Thanks sherry x I'm exhausted x

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Bless you; take your time. Don’t rush anything hun xx

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So sorry to read your news, it’s awful and nothing can prepare you for that feeling. Take some time to rebuild your strength and then you can decide what to do next from a position of strength. Big hugs to you xx

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Thanks Hannah, I need strength right now👍 I feel wiped out xxx

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I am just so so sorry. xxx

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Thank you xxx

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So sorry to hear this. Sending you a hug. Xx

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Thanks lou x

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Sending positive vibes from someone that’s been in your shoes! It’s crap. Somehow you do get through it but it’s normal to feel upset, angry and that perhaps no one else understands! We do though x

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Thank you - it's so crap and awful and saddening. And unfair. And cruel. Thanks for the positive vibes and sorry you too have experienced this. Such a long wait now xxx

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Aww hun. There are no words! I am so sorry to read this. BFN's are genuinely heartbreaking. Thinking of you and sending a gentle hug xx

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Thank you so much, I'm heartbroken Dot wasn't to be. I hope round 2 will be the one xxx

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Aww huni. Take your time and allow yourself to feel. It's devastating beyond belief but you will slowly start to feel better. Sending you gentle hugs xx

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Hi I went through the same a few weeks ago . I was heartbroken . Your story sounds like mine . First go and I had 6 perfect at day three but by transfer day only one perfect and one slightly less perfect made it . They put both back but it didn’t work . I honestly didn’t think I would ever feel normal / hopeful / positive again . I promise you that you will . Each day gets a bit easier . Just let the tears run and when you feel better you will start to feel positive and decide your next steps . Big hugs - I know how you feel xxx

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Thank you - it's comforting to know that people like yourself understand the pain and sadness but at the same time it's sad knowing how many of us are experiencing this pain and sadness. I am glad to hear you are feeling better each day. Baby steps. Thank you for your message xxx

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Oh noo, I’m so sorry to read your news! I can’t imagine how your feeling. Look after yourself and give yourself time to cry as it’s such a massive loss 😢 massive hugs lovely 💕 xx

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Thanks squeak xxx

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So sorry for you sweet sending big hugs xxxx

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Thanks shanks x

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I’m really sorry to read this. Better luck next time time 🍀 xx

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I hope so and thank you xx

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Sorry to hear this - so hard! Hope you are home safe. Look after yourself - I’m sure you’ll get there when you’ve healed and are ready to try again. Sending big hugs xxx

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Thank you xxx got home safe if not emotionally intact x

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Glad you are home safe. Emotions will take a bit longer to get into a better place but there’s no place like home xxxxx

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I'm so sorry this has happened to you! It's just hesrtbreaking, I had this twice at 7dpt. Rest up and take it easy, do whatever makes you feel better at the time! Big hugs!xx

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Wow twice and so early - did you ever get any answers as to why you got AF so early? I'm wondering why the progesterone pessaries didn't stop AF x

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I know was gutted! I questioned my NHS clinic about not getting enough progesterone and they said it was unlikely and it just didn't work, my embryos were probably not great quality etc....pretty much brushed me off. My DE clinic feel it was though so I'm on a high dose so defo ask your clinic for next round!xx

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Thank you I will x

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So sorry to hear this, just wanted to send you huge hugs x

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Hugs caught, thank you xxx

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Oh huni life just isn't fair. Take the time to cry and do whatever makes you feel better (binging on icecream and Netflix or similar) it's okay to feel sad. We are all here if you need us. Take care and when you're ready to try again you'll know. Sending big love and hugs. Xx

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Thank you so much x

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I'm so sorry to read this. This IVF journey is not an easy one. Take care of yourself. Sending lots of love and hugs to you ❤️ Xxxx

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Thank you x

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Hope you're doing ok this morning sweetheart. Been thinking of you xx

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Thank you x I've done a test and it was of course negative and my boyfriend was really disappointed- he said he still secretly hoped I might be pregnant even though I told him there was no way that I was... still going to a big bonfire and fireworks night tonight and when we pop into the pub beforehand, I'm going to be having at least a pint or2! X

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Thanks for thinking of me x

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Oh bless you. Good for you on having a pint! Hope the fireworks are good. Take care xxx

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So sorry to read this Scarlett 🙁 Take care xxx

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Thank you xxx

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I had the same sort of thing happen to me yesterday. felt so positive in the first week then started spotting before having a light bleed day before test. First cycle so didnt know what to expect. Clinic told me nothing alarming but when I woke up I had full on period, tested and was negative. Devastated doesnt even come close.felt like such a failure. Went out for some air did some shopping with other half even had my first alcoholic drink for months! Am def more positive about things today. Stay strong do the things you couldn't before and remember that you can try again really soon. I know a few people that have done ivf and not one worked on the first go. Fingers crossed next time for both of us that it will be our time. Big hugs x

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Awww sorry you're going through this too and thanks for your message. Yes fingers crossed for us on the next round and I'm looking forward to beer en route to fireworks tonight! Was devastated and empty yesterday but surprised at how well I'm doing today - looking forward to a few months of exercise again weirdly! Xxx

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I'm so sorry to hear this. My first cycle has also recently been unsuccessful and I know how heartbroken you must feel. Take as much time as you need to process this and be kind to yourself. Big hugs xxx

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Sorry it's happened to you too, how are you doing? Thanks for your message x

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I'm doing a bit better every day thank you. It is tough but you will get through it. Big hugs xxx

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I am so sorry. I went through the same as well in August. I was very devastated and I cried everyday for a whole month. I could not eat and lost 6kg as a results. To make matters worse the doctors told me my eggs were crap and I needed to use donor egg. It was like having two funerals at the same time and I also wanted to die. However, I have myself time to grieve. My family was there for me. I started exercising (had not exercised for years) and felt generally better. After a month I started sleeping, crying less and felt better. Although I still experience some sadness, Life has meaning again. All I am saying is hang on. The sun will shine again and you will be in a better frame of mind to plan your next steps.

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Thank you for your message x

I'm sorry that you've been through it too and to hear how much you have struggled with it but I'm glad you got better and I wish you lots of luck with donor eggs for your next round xx

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It’s really hard Scarlett and I’m so sorry. It is always a shock to know and nothing prepares you for it. I found the follow up appointment really helps at least to move forward.

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Thank you x

How long did you have to wait before the follow up appointment and how long til you could start your next round? X

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Hi Scarlett, It was about a 3 week wait and my follow up appointment came through. I was desperate to start a new round ASAP but that didn’t work out for me. After the follow up the consultant decided to do a investigative hycosy to check my uterus as previously I had a fibroid removed and he wanted to see if I had any new ones. We had good quality blastocysts so he was not expecting a failure.

It turns out he was right... he did not find fibroids but he found adhesions and I was diagnosed with Asherman’s syndrome which was likely caused from my surgery to remove a sub mucosal fibroid prior to ivf.

In this time I’ve had to have 2 surgeries to remove the scarring.

I had my second surgery on the 5 September and go this Monday 6 to see if the scarring has been successfully removed.

We can then start round 2 if I’m clear.

My case was different, but there was no point in me having further ivf with my condition.

You should however be able to do a second round in a couple of months.

All I remember when I left my follow up I was so stressed and just eager to get on with the next round and the idea of a further wait for investigations stressed me out further but while I was having my mini breakdown, I will never forget my consultants words: don’t put pressure on yourself”

Funny enough those words actually comforted me. It was probably the first time I realised I had been doing that.

I hope you find comfort and answers in your follow up. For now take care of yourself.

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Oh how frustrating for you - always so many issues on the way...I have had to have a couple of surgeries too this year in order to be able to start ivf. All the waiting and wasting time is hard to deal with x

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Yes, I started this process I was just shy of 36 at the time! I’ve now just turned 40, so time is not on my side. I was lucky to freeze 3 blasts on my previous cycle and if I’m clear they better stick as I feel it’s my last chance and I think I’ll need to pay for that as my NHS funding would be expired and it only takes me to 40. It sometimes feels like everything happens as if there’s not enough to deal with.

BTW, I noticed you from Kent! So am I... Where are you getting your treatment?

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I've just turned 37.

I hate that funding only goes up to 40. As you started in your 30s I think that the age cap shouldn't apply. Do you get 2 rounds? That's what I've been told for Kent. I live in Canterbury and go to care in Tunbridge wells - how about yourself?

That's great you have those Frosties!!!! At least with all the other waiting and time wasting going on, your embies have been frozen in time xxx

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Yes I’m lucky with the Frosties. My funding was pretty good. I could get 2 fresh rounds and 2 FET. However, I only used one.

Yes they should let me continue if I started and the main reason it’s been so drawn out is because when they removed my fibroid they didn’t prevent adhesions. I wasn’t even told it could happen. So basically I removed the fibroid to improve my fertility only to land up with adhesions so I’m back to square one. I actually feel like writing to them but it will only fall on deaf ears...

I’m with St Guys, I live in Gravesend.

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Ohh my dear don't cry it's ok

Remember these things happen

It happened to me and to other ladies

Next time it will work and if it didn't you do it again and again until you get u r BFP just take care of your self and believe me it takes a strong faith and lots of tries . Be positive it will happen and try to relax u need that for until next try

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Thank you so much lady MM, I'm getting there x

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Oh you poor thing. I couldn’t go past your post without replying as I felt exactly the same as you describe after my last cycle. We put so much into it- to not only get nothing back, but then to get all the awfulness of the AF 😣 The only advice I would give you is to let yourself grieve and cry and get angry as much as you need to. And as you have to wait a few months now maybe plan some things which will help distract you. 💐Xxx

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Thank you coco, sorry you've been through this too, how is your journey going? X

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Awwww, so sorry dear. How are you feeling now? I had my bfn this morning. Got a fever 30mins after the result. I'm so broken.

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I'm so sorry to hear your news, it's so sad, give yourself time to feel all of the emotions that you need to feel then get back on it!!! X

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