I'm not selfish for being jelaous...

[Diana889]

I have to unfriend/unfollow people on facebook/social media when they announce they’re pregnant almost 100% of the time because I just can’t handle it. It hurts to much, especially when it’s an accidental pregnancy, to see their bump progression/ultrasound pictures. It’s not because I don’t feel happy for them. It’s not because I don’t think they’re deserving of that happiness. It’s because I can’t have children, and when I get blind sided and see (yet another) announcement it makes me cry. Because it brings up the grief I live with EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. for a family I’m never going to get to have. It throws salt on an infected, weeping wound that is NEVER going to heal. Being a mother is the world to me, it’s everything I’ve ever wanted for as long as I can remember. It’s why I’ve pushed so hard, done so much, worked as often as I did… All so I could give a better life to the children I’d eventually have. Working 100 hours a week, putting myself through university, everything. And then I found out I can’t have them. Then I found out that I’ll never know what scary joy it is to see a positive pregnancy test. Found out I’ll never feel a kick, hear a heart beat, or hold an infant in my arms that is mine. For people to call me selfish when I can’t deal with that on social media every single day, so be it. If it makes me selfish to not want to cry myself to sleep every day so be it. If it makes me selfish to not be able to keep myself together when I get blind sided by that horrific reality so be it. If it’s selfish to have to do this to take care of myself, that’s it. I guess I’m selfish then. I can’t carry this in silence anymore. I can’t sit there and let another person tell me “my time will come” or “you have lots of time” or any of that other fucking bull shit garbage BECAUSE MY TIME WILL NEVER COME. It is never going to be possible for me. I’m happy for other people. but knowing it will never be me leaves an empty ache in my chest more powerful than anything else I’ve ever felt. So congrats. You’re pregnant, I’m selfish. Good day.

[Tugsgirl]

You are not selfish. Any person in their right mind wants to protect themselves from being hurt. I’m so sorry to hear that you can’t have children. You do what you have to do to make that situation a little bit more bearable xx

[jenny34]

You are NOT selfish. You are trying to protect yourself. These people won't realise you've unfollowed them so where's the harm?! No one should call you selfish for wanting to protect yourself . I'm so sorry you are in so much pain. Take care xxxxxxx

[Hidden]

I'm so so sorry to hear your pain and can completely relate to that horrid, gnawing feeling of resentment and jealousy at other people's pregnancy news. I wish I was a better person and could smile, laugh, hug them and share in their joy, but I can't. You're absolutely right to unfriend them if that's what you need to do right now. Do whatever you have to protect yourself xxx