When to try IVF?

My husband and I are considering IVF. I'm 34 35 in January he's 35. Had all the tests and I think I come into the category unexplained. We have been ttc for a year and a half. We have to pay for a cycle as my oh has already has a son.

I'm not sure whether to give it another 6 months. It's a huge deal IVF, I'm worried about the hormones and the impact it will have on my body, mind and relationship.

Has anyone similar experiences they can share to help me with the decision? I've lost the feeling I use to to get each month when I was sure I'd be pregnant this month. I feel like I've lost hope of it happening naturally.

Thanks xx

25 Replies

  • I might add. I'm worried about how the success rates drop with you enter the 35-37 age group. It's 10% less successful. 😔

  • Hi

    I just wanted to say I just had IVF at 44 with own eggs and am now 18 weeks pregnant. Dont read too much into the age thing. Its about egg quality and there is lots you can do to help yourself along xx

  • Congratulations xx

  • How do you know how good your eggs are?

  • Well I guess thats a tricky one and you don't until you get pregnant! But I ate 100% organic, took pregnacare conception, no alcohol for 3 months prior to starting ivf, took ubiquinol and DHEA for egg quality and also had acupuncture. All of this helps to improve egg quality

  • I think if you're not sure then it's not time. We're also unexplained so I understand the frustration and unfairness of what you must feel x

  • Thanks for your support. It's a tough old road to walk. Xx

  • Hi, my advice would be to not wait any longer and start the ball rolling. Depending on your area waiting lists can be long and there's nothing to stop you continuing to try in the meantime. Physically, from my experience its no biggie. Physical pain from treatment goes away quickly and is forgotten about. I won't lie, emotionally it's the hardest thing I've gone through but if you and your partner are strong you'll get through and support each other xx

  • Hi lovely, I know exactly where you're coming from. After trying for 4 years we gave up all hope of conceiving naturally; ours too was unexplained. We tried everything we could, and it was incredibly frustrating when people would say 'just stop trying, and it will happen' (we did, and it didn't!). All I can say is I had hope that ivf would work for us, and I feel more than anything it has strengthened our relationship. There no arguments, no stress and no bs anymore. We did icsi in June and got our bfp in July, I am a little nervous and impatient waiting for my 12 week scan as have very few symptoms but determined to take each day at a time. I appreciate that the financial commitment is huge, we had ours on NHS but we were conscious about our age and chance of success. This didn't however mean that we didn't talk about it in length before we tried - what happens if it doesn't work, how many goes do we try before we give up, would we consider adopting. More than anything it's so important to talk it through and ensure you're both on the same page. Good luck in whatever you decide xxx

  • Congratulations! I hope you haven't too long to wait for your scan. Very exciting.

  • You are right to look at the figures of how much success rates drop off with age. One thing I would say is if you do ivf while you are still relatively young then you may have embryos to freeze if they are good enough quality. This would mean that even if your first attempt was unsuccessful then when you came to try again, if you were lucky enough to have frozen embryos they would still be the age you were when they were created so your age becomes less of an issue. I hope that makes sense xx

  • I agree with the above. If you think you might do it then sooner is better than later. Xx

  • Def worse making a start as it's a long process. If it's unexplained fertility you could still get pregnant naturally might happen when you least expect it!! I've a friend that happened to a week before she was due to start ivf. Maybe look into ways you could improve your egg quality xx

  • How long does it take to get going with IVF? I have had all the tests through the NHS. I spoke to the clinic and they said that I could have an appointment in two weeks. Their initial consultation is £450 I think and they said we could go away and think about it or start whenever we wanted. Am I misunderstanding what they told me? I don't always take it all in what people tell me. Xx

  • Oh sorry I'd forgotten that you said you were going private. In that case I think you can get in pretty much straight away. Good luck xx

  • This sounds like an initial consultation with tests. We had a private consultation with a doctor at a private clinic and it was £190. Have you been to see the clinic for a show around? These are usually free with an information advisor and would give you more information xx

  • Yes I think you're right, that includes blood tests, internal scans and sperm sampled. Frustrating as that's all been done on the NHS and we have to pay to have them all done again! We have been offered a tour but we have made our mind up on which clinic to use. Based on a recommendation from a friend, they used the same clinic and was pleased with the service. It's got the best results in our area and it's not a mammoth drive away. It's still an hour and half away though! Where are you with the process? Xx

  • I've had one round on NHS which wasn't successful but now just started medication for second cycle with a frozen embryo. We have been to two private clinics to investigate our options further if this round is unsuccessful (sounds pessimistic but I just like to plan ahead) both we were able to book consultation without the tests. You may be able to use your NHS results of tests. You can request your notes from the NHS, we did that and it costs about £50. I think if your tests were done within the last 3 months they should be able to accept them. Somebody else on here did that but I can't remember who! But you could post up a message to ask. I suppose I'm just thinking for you that it's a lot of money to layout when you are unsure whether to go down this route. What has your GP advised? I know all of our results were sent to the hospital and we then had a meeting with a consultant to advise whether he felt ivf would be our best option. As I am 41, we were advised to proceed directly to IVF but you may not be at your age. I would want some more medical guidance if I was you. Good luck though, I wish you all the very best with your decisions xxx

  • My advice would be to get on with it. Your eggs are only getting older and as you know the older you are the harder it gets. If you both are sure this is what you want you will get through it together 😘. Good luck xx

  • Does your oh son live with you or do you only have him wknds? I only ask as my oh have has a daughter but because we are not the main carers we still had a funded cycle and as I haven't got any kids

  • We aren't the main carers unfortunately. However, with our trust it doesn't matter who the main care giver is. It is based on whether you have children. Xx

  • Well that's just not right! How annoying. Honestly the differences between ccgs is just so unfair!

  • I think it's best to get started soonish because fertility declines from 35 onwards quite steeply even when nothing wrong. You could consider egg freezing now whilst you are under 35? x

  • If I am right that you've been trying for a year and a half you need to get into it ASAP. Your fertility starts declining at the age of 35.

  • Hello!

    I'm in a similar situation. My husband and I have tried to conceive naturally for a year. The line to conceive naturally is supposed to end after one year. We waited, and then we went to the doctor. He prescribed me Clomid. I'm about to finish it and I still do not have a baby.

    That's why I tell you that you should go with the IVF. At least look for information about it. We wait a year. I know many women have waited longer, but it feels like a lifetime. I am sure that if after the Clomid I do not have a baby, I will begin the IVF. In this infertility fight you can not expect much. Every second counts. I recently searched all the necessary information in clinics.

    Believe me, if you feel that there is no way out, it's time to start. I hope I do not have to get to that, but sometimes it's not so easy.

    I send you my best wishes.


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