What would you like help with?

Some of you may know I am a fertility coach and cognitive hypnotherapist with personal experience of both male and female infertility. We went on to conceive our son after a 10 year journey. I put on regular fertility support webinars for INUK, I like to try and do these monthly but we haven't had one for a while so it's about time we did!

My question is what are your biggest frustrations on your journey to getting pregnant?

What would you like me to speak to when it comes to the mind and emotions and your fertility journey.

What questions do you have you would like me to answer? Anything from emotions, fears, the mind-body link to relationships.

I look forward to seeing your responses.

Russellx

[Miroslava]

Hello i just went through ivf/icsi with great positive test but very early miscarriage .. I am having mixed feelings between starting asap and no starting at all because too scared of negative result again. Can't think positive at all any help with that. Thank you

[Hidden in reply to Miroslava]

I had a miscarriage March, haven't been back to the clinic since as don't know what to do next

[Miroslava in reply to Hidden]

I feel the same at the moment I feel like stay away from everything for while but same time desperate for baby ... Can't believe still we had it there and lost it so early x sending lots of love and hope u are OK x

[Hidden]

biggest frustration for me is lack of information and stats about each stage of the process linked to age and success rates and also lack of consultants time. I have learned more from the people going through it on this blog than from my doctors and I have no complaints about my doctors, I just believe that people going through have nothing to lose or gain and therefore tell it how it is and never tire of listening, doctors don't have time to listen to all of our emotions and even our partners, husbands, girlfriends all get fed up (don't blame them either) but the bloggers never tire, and we are owed time to digest everything and vent, laugh, cry and not feel guilty about taking up anyone's time in our own time. I use control the controllable nearly every day with my staff, and have used this technique over the past few years, yet when it comes to this process I fail to take my own advice!

[hoping-for-the-best]

Hi Russell, I think the most difficult thing is staying positive and calm even in the face of disappointment. I definitely see the importance of the mind body connection but it's hard not to get angry or upset, so it would be good to know of a healthy way to let go of these feelings. Also, I am so sensitive to what other people say at the moment, the other day at work a girl asked me if I was worried my biological clock was running out- of course she has no clue of what I'm going through but I found it hard not to be affected by that and nearly burst out crying. People say some really hurtful things without even meaning to and it takes you by surprise. Thanks

[Hidden]

Thank you all for these responses, we shall let you know when the webinar is scheduled, probably for mid June.

Russellx

[Hidden]

Hi! Russell, am struggling to deal with my emotions. Since i had two failed IVF cycle am scared that it will not happen for me. I am already 37 and I have a fibroid. Even though it not on the lining I scared it might be in the future. Is there hope after 2 failed cycle? Thanking you in advance for your support.

[Hidden]

Hi hop36 sorry to but in. I hope you don't mind but I read you've got a fibroid. I've also got a fibroid (mines in the lining of my uterus) to cut a very long & boring story short due to luck I discovered I had a fibroid in April this year. Now I was meant to start ivf in march, but once I told clinic about fibroid (they didn't ask location of anything of fibroid) they told they wouldn't do ivf till id had this fibroid treated and even then I would need to bring all my paperwork and see one of the consultants before any ivf treatment could commence. Anyway I saw my gp whom I had to fight and I do mean fight for a referral to see a general gynae to see what affect it might have on my infertility,as in her expert opinion it had no bearing on my fertilty as it was really small (11mm x 12mm). Saw general gynae consultant a month ago and told me it had a huge affect on my fertilty and was the reason for our otherwise unexplained infertility. (Consultant thinks it's been there whole time we've been trying) Mine is thought to be preventing any potential implanation so if I'd gone ahead with ivf if would not have worked. Long shot is I'm awaiting a date for surgery to have it removed.

Seeing as you have no explanation for the infertility I would get another opinion on this fibroid and maybe have another scan to see the size. Depending on size and location fibroids can affect fertilty in many ways.As my consultant said to me fibroids don't just go away like a cyst would (I also had a cyst on my right ovary which she isn't concerned over) they get bigger overtime as fibroids are thought to grow estrogen, they tend to disappear as you hit menopause as the estrogen level lowed.

I'm so sorry to hear your ivf failed you must be beyond heartbroken. And I hope your clinic are able to give you some answers to make the next time work. Wishing you the very best X

[Jen364]

Hi, I feel very similar to the people who have already replied. I am really struggling emotionally. After a delayed miscarriage after ICSI I had to have medical management. I then had a laparoscopy where they clipped my tube and found endometriosis and a cyst on my ovary. Last week I was given a 3 month injection of prostrap to try and reduce the endometriosis before FET. I think the main thing I have struggled with throughout this long journey is the feeling of being completely out of control because it's other people who decide what happens next and how long we have to wait. Like others I'm scared about the FET and the possibility of it either not working or having another miscarriage. And I'm so worried about people making pregnancy announcements that I mainly find it easier to avoid people. It can be a very lonely journey when people who haven't experienced it don't understand, that's why this site is so helpful. So I guess it would be helpful to get some advice about staying positive, dealing with emotions when people announce and finding support when family/ friends don't understand. Sorry for the long reply!

[Hidden]

Hi hop36, I think jess1981's reply confirms a belief of mine. Doctors are great at diagnosis but not so good at prognosis because no-one can predict the future and also fertility is still such a young industry so much is still unknown and research is continuing. This is why you can get such conflicting opinions. We were told 1 in a billion chance of ever conceiving naturally. And we did. Your mind is racing ahead wanting answers as it doesn't link the unknown so it is trying hard to fill in the gaps with 'what if...' I recommend you listen to the webinar I did a while back, you may find it helpful.

Hi Jen364

I totally resonate with it being a lonely journey as friends and family rarely really understand what it's like.

I think you will both enjoy this webinar:

youtube.com/watch?v=HjOfgP6...(Not working as expected?)

I would love to know how you find it, will you post here and let me know?

I'll post the date of the webinar here when we have it confirmed and I look forward to the conversation.

Russellx

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Hi! Russell, I listen to your webinar, any time am down it really gives me hope. I am looking into getting a second opion about my fibroids. Thank you for your advice and support.

[Hidden]

Hi Hop36 I am so glad you found it helpful. What insight do you get from it that helps you? x