Fertility Network UK
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It's all over.....again!!😩

Well this cycle has gone exactly the same as the last one. I'm currently 7dp5dt and have started bleeding, which is what happened the last time. I know I'll still have to carry on with gel until OTD which is pointless but hey ho! So another failure from my stupid body, predictable!!😡 Next chapter is abroad.....!!🌞 Thanks to everyone for all the support again, it's been much appreciated!!xx

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Really sorry you've started bleeding I know it's awful, the fact you have to carry on with the medication too is horrific when you know inevitable 🙁 maybe on your next cycle you could request to have the progesterone in an injection form that's what I was given as I like you started bleeding at around 7dp5dt? Look after yourself xx

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That's 2nd time round that's happened. I did query that I maybe wasn't getting enough progesterone but they didn't think that was likely!! Thanks for your message, I will talk about this with wherever my new clinic is!xx

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💔💔 heartbroken for you both

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Thanks lovely!!xx

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It could be implantation bleeding? Xx

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No, I mean it's not super heavy but I don't suffer from heavy periods anyway. I had cramps yesterday and I've got a but of a sore tummy today so more than likely is me period. I had exactly the same happen last cycle! Thanks for trying to give me hope anyway!xx

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I am so so sorry, sending a hug xx

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Thank you!!xx

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So sorry to read this..... I'm glad you have your next plan in place though. Wishing you the best of luck abroad on your next cycle xxxxx

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Thank you! Still working on that plan but defo have an outline of where we're going next!!xx

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That's good to have plans..... I admire your resilience and positivity on getting going again. I hope I am this resilient as i start out journey! Xxx

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Awww thank you!! Well I'm not gonna lie, it's not easy and I've shed more than my fair share of tears but in some way the failures aren't so bad the more I have! Kind of expecting them now which probably sounds terrible! I'm not a quitter though so just have to move forward until I feel I can't do it anymore!! I hope I haven't put a damper on you for just starting out! Best of luck for your cycle!xx

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Aww bless you. That is so sad you feel that you are expecting the bad news.... it sounds like you have been through a lot. But you are living your life with no regrets and I feel that is so important. You are giving it your all and that is what I hope to do.

Bless You haven't put a damper on the start of my journey... I am trying to be realistic with my expectations of a positive result... but I'm clinging on to hope... I think as long as you have hope then there's always a reason to carry on. Big hugs and wishing you the best of luck with your next steps xxxxxxx

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There is always hope or we wouldn't be doing this punishing regime!! You cling onto that attitude, it's a great way to be and helps whilst doing all of this!!xx

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Thanks so much. Xxxx

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So sorry to hear that Hun 😢 U take care of yourself xxx

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Thank you but I was expecting it a wee bit!! My aim was to get past today without bleeding which I haven't so it's not quite so bad as last time! I am however angry & frustrated at my cr*p body and eggs!! How have you been doing?xx

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U and I are in similar stages I think, my 1st cycle we didn't make it to transfer and then next 2 were bfns.

I'm like u always need a plan & sort of thought I had one but at the moment can't talk about it with oh or think about it.

I've had my 3 weeks of wallowing,binge drinking & eating now, tomorrow gonna start trying to get back on track and hopefully my head will follow!!

I can't recall whether u already had a specific clinic overseas in mind.i love my doctors at mine.i do feel that if it wasn't going to work with them, it wasnt going to work full stop.

I'm so sorry it wasn't to be this time but I am loving your positivity & look forward to hearing what u do next!might even help me make some decisions

Big hugs xxxx

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Yes we are in very similar situations, crazy isn't it! I definitely think you're entitled to binge eat, drink or so whatever helps but it is nice when you can start to put your best foot forward again....thats what I'll be doing....a few treats to me I think! I've not solidly decided on a clinic abroad looking at Czech Republic and Greece.if you'd like to chat anytime then feel free to PM me!! And if course thank you for your kind reply, it means a lot!xx

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Thanks Hun, yes would be nice to chat more about it sometime xxx

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Im really sorry Cinderella.it really sucks not knowing why out bodies fail us.all.the best abroad.take care of yourself .xx

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Yes it does suck not knowing why our bodies won't play the game, very frustrating!!😡 Thank you!xx

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So sorry to hear, hugs xx

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Thank you!xx

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I totally understand the frustration at our bodies not playing ball. Our donors body produced brilliant eggs and OH produced brilliant sperm, we had a 5d hatching blast put in then it didn't want to stick to me though I tried to do everything right. I feel the same right now. I hope this is jidt implantation bleeding and cramps and am sending hugs in any event - is such a hard journey xxxx

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Yeah it is rubbish! I think we all do as much as we can to keep them there but the reality I think is it will either work or won't! There a a whole lot of luck in there too! This was our best chance yet with a good blast but obviously something not right!!xx

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Still gonna keep my fingers crossed for you. We will get there somehow - big hugs xxx

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So so sorry this has happened to you. Was keeping everything crossed life is so unfair. You sound so positive don't know how you do it xxx

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Thanks Katya! Well I'm not quite ready to throw the towel in yet! Not sure if it's determination or just stubbornness!!😂xx

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So sorry to read this hun... really had everything crossed for you. Glad to hear you have a little plan for moving forward. Take care - big hugs xxxxxx

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Thanks pumpkin! It's just not our time and I always like to have a plan b, it keeps me sane!!xx

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I agree, plans are so important & keep you focused xxxx

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I was so sorry to read this - had everything crossed for you! This journey is so hard 😖

I admire your ability to see beyond this, which shows great strength of character. You are going to be okay and you ARE going to get your happy ending xx

Thinking of you 💐

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Thanks Countrycat! I had hoped that this might have been our time as we had a good blast but not to be! I'm a planner so always have a back up plan, i hate not knowing where life is taking me and like to feel I have a little control in all of this mess!xx

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Am completely the same...always need a plan, so do understand where you are coming from. I will look forward to reading more about your plans on the weeks to come. Stay strong!!!

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Oh I'm so sorry to read your post. How devastating. Don't blame yourself. I know it's hard not to but you can't have done any more. You don't deserve this at all. Sending you the biggest hug. xxx

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Thanks MrsC! I did do all that I could so I don't have any regrets, it just wasn't meant to be.....this time!xx

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That's the right way to look at it. Next time might be different. I'll be keep my fingers crossed for you that it is. xxx

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Aww Cinders I am so so sorry. It's all just really shit continuously having to put ourselves through it. The more disappointment we have the harder it gets to believe it's ever going to happen.

Your journey abroad is a new approach and I really hope it's the one that makes you a mummy xx

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Yes it is shit!! Thank you! I think we need a change of scenery and the cost abroad is too difficult to ignore! I haven't run out of hope yet, not sure if that's cause I'm a hopeless dimwit that can't face reality or just crazy!😂😂 I WILL get there!!xx

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Whatever it is you WILL get there ❤😘

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Sorry to read this. Sending you hugs and hope that it isn't AF on her way xx

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In full flow now! I kind of knew it after my cramping yesterday, you just know your body! Thanks for your message, much appreciated!xx

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😞 so sorry. Take care of yourself today xx

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I am so very sorry. You have put yourself through this two times I gather from your post? That is amazing. You said you feel your body has failed you - and I totally get that feeling. But what hasn't failed is your determination and spirit, and I hope that is something you are proud of. The strength you have had to push on and give this your best shot is amazing. Of course, it is also strong to be able to recognise you've been through a sh@tty tough time, grieve and look after yourself. Sending big virtual hugs Xxx

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Thanks!! This is cycle number 3 although the first one was an even bigger disaster than the last two, didn't even get to transfer! Thanks for your support! Counting on you to cross that finishing line now, everything crossed for you!xx

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Thank you, really lovely of you to say so especially right now when you should quite rightly just be thinking about yourself! Xx

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Aw no so sorry to here this hunny, but it's not over yet try and stay positive 😘😘 xxx

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Unfortunately I've been bmhere before so I know it's over but thank you for being positive! Hope you're looking after yourself!xx

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So sorry to read this. I find the bleeding really hard, feels like a physical reminder of what you've lost/not had. Really feel for you xx

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Thank you! Im ok, better than last time so that can only be a positive!xx

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Thinking off you sending love 💕 xx

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Thank you, appreciate that!xx

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So sorry to hear this..thinking of u 💐 x keep up the positivity xx

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Thank you!!xx

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So sorry to hear this lovely 😥... try hang in there till test day ! They say it's common for women to bleed throughout the cycle ! Last time I bled at 10dp5dt they gave me progesterone injections this time so perhaps request them... I know it's hard to remain positive, I've been cramping since last night and a part from that I have no other symptoms :( im only 4dp5dt ! I don't think I should be cramping now ... if this process has taught me anything is that I'm stronger than I thought and I will keep going until I get what I want :) the universe always falls in love with a stubborn heart as they say !! Hoping it's not all over for you yet xxxx stay strong xxxxx

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Ha ha ha I like that saying, fits very well!! Ive spoken to my clinic and they said that it's unlikely to be anything to do with progesterone levels and just to carry on doing what I'm doing! Your cramping could be implantation so don't lose hope!!xx

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I wish I could take a sneak peak inside my womb ! It's so frustrating, hang in there lovely got everything crossed for you !! 🤞🏼🤞🏼🤞🏼🤞🏼❤️❤️

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Aww sorry to hear this xx

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Thank you!!xx

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So sorry to hear this. Wishing you lots of love and luck and baby dust for next time xxx

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Thanks Alice! All of these messages really help!xx

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So sorry Cinderella, it really sucks 😕 this happened to me a couple of times and it's so awful to have to carry on with the meds regardless. Glad you have a plan though and I hope that means success for you in the future xx

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Oh it's rubbish isn't it! Have your clinic given any reason that they think this happens? I know there probably isn't a reason but so frustrating!! Thanks for your message, it's really good of you!xx

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It's really rubbish isn't it 😕 my consultant had said my endometriosis can cause inflammation that can make it very difficult for an embryo to implant or develop if it does implant which is why I had a 3 month treatment for it prior to my 4th cycle but that obviously wasn't enough. The next step for me would be further surgery before any other ivf cycles but I just don't know if I want to put myself through that again. Big decisions to make..

Hope you'll be ok & when you're feeling ready you can make positive steps towards your treatment abroad 😘 xx

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Oh that must be so hard Georgina! I'm very lucky that I don't have any medical issues that I know of. Very light periods and very little pain. I know this sounds a bit airy fairy and it's not for everyone but I've been seeing an acupuncturist that had bad end endo and she got referred in London to an acupuncturist from her surgeon many years ago after he said he wouldn't do anymore surgery. She now has 4 kids! Just something to consider. I'm honestly ok and thanks for your lovely messages!xx

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Cinderella, sorry to butt in but just wondered if you have had your thyroid levels checked (by blood test)? I had very light periods too and turned out I had a massively over-active thyroid which can cause issues with fertility. No one picked up on this during my 1st IVF round but they did on my 2nd, I started meds to level it out and it might have made all the difference for me xxx

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Oh no, so sorry to read this! Look after yourselves and keep up the positivity, it will happen! xx🌹

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Thank you!! I think first on the list is to lose some off drug weight! Ha ha ha xx

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Oh no I am so so sorry sending hugs xxx

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Thanks Vic, hug received a very much appreciated!!xx

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I am hugging from the USA and hoping that in a few days maybe things will change 😢 xxx

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Ahhh long distance hugs! Thanks so much for messaging when you're on hols! I hope you're having a fabulous time!!xx

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I'm so sorry Cinderella thinking of you and sending a big hug xxx

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Thank you! All these hugs are lovely!xx

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Aw no sorry to hear this! The same thing happened to me on my last cycle and I remember thinking at least I knew sooner rather than later!...I phoned the clinic and told them and got quite annoyed as they came across as not believing me...I know they were just doing their job but I knew my own body!

Have a well deserved rest and I look forward to hearing about your next step soon! xxx

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Yeah I know, this is the second time it's happened at exactly the same time which is frustrating! And yes you do know your own body. I called my clinic today to ask if I'm maybe not getting enough progesterone as mentioned by AmyLeighxx and they just brushed it off and said that's highly unlikely....like I asked a daft question which is a bit annoying! Looking forward to not injecting myself for a wee while until the next round! Thank you for your message, really appreciate it!xx

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It's been similar for me both times. They did say I could test a day early this time and stop taking pessaries if it were negative (which of course it was). They did look carefully at my dates after the first cycle failed and decided that the day I'd started bleeding was reasonable, and implied that if it had been earlier they would have moved me on to injections instead of pessaries.

I really hope that this isn't the end for you xx

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Its just crap isnt it?! It just weird that it's been exactly the same pattern each time....like clockwork! I spoke to the nurse in the clinic and she said it was unlikely that my progesterone levels were too low! I'll be asking at my follow up. It's not the end yet I've still got some determination in me yet!! Onto the next chapter!!xx

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Aww I'm really sorry to read this hun 😔 hope ur ok? Silly question I suppose...i know it's not whatbu want to hear but try and stay possitive and wait until ur actual.test date u never know it could be implantation or just a period some women do have them in pregnancy I hear...thinking of u xx

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Thanks Tara! I am ok ta, wee bit sad that I have to go back to the beginning again but I will fight on. I have heard about women who bleed and still get a BFP, trust me I'm not that lucky!😂 I have been having some real bad cramps so I guess I know in my heart of hearts though I will carry on doing what I'm told until test day!xx

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Aww chick I'm sorry 😔 big hugs xxx

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Ffs. Big hugs. X

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Ha ha ha yes definitely ffs!! Thanks!xx

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So sorry to here this hunny, but stay strong as some people can bleed and still get that bfp, thinking of you ❤🌈💋

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Thank you, unfortunately its just like a period and still going so Im pretty sure it over!xx

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Aww it's such a rollercoaster, & so unfare, sending loads of love xx

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Sorry to read this, sending you hugs 🤗. Good luck for ur next chapter abroad. xx

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Thank you!xx

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I'm so sorry to hear this. You have such strength to keep positive xxx

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Thank you! Nothing else for it!xx

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Oh Cinderella. I'm so sorry that things haven't worked this time. You're very strong so I know you'll pick yourself up and keep fighting but at least for the next few days just be kind to yourself and do only nice things xxx

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Yep Im not ready to give up just yet, still some fight left in me! I think Ive been a bit too good to myself already, I need to lose weight! Ha ha ha Diet commenced today!xx

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Wow, that's determination. You go girl xxx

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Not to sure what to say. Sorry to read this! I'm so inspired by your strength and determination. You more than deserve a happy ending and a bundle of joy. Wishing you all the luck in the world xx

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Oh you nearly made me cry there!! Im ok, guess I'm stronger than I know!! Thank you for your kind words!!😊xx

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Awe bless you hun. Take care of yourself! Hugs xx

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Cinderella that is difficult it's bad enough when af comes in a normal month so imagine even harder after IVF but your positive attitude is very inspiring! I am with you that if it's a bfn better to know now rather than have to wait another week. Good luck with the next cycle , the fact it will be abroad might give you that ability to relax a wee bit more than at home. And you hear so many people say it will happen when you relax. Take care xx

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I actually can't believe how ok I am! I thought I would crumple for a couple of days like I did before but it's different this time! Maybe I just didn't get my hopes up, who knows! Thanks for your message,it's really kind of you!xx

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Hugs 💕 Good luck for your next cycle

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Thanks Kimmy!xx

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Just seen your post. So sorry Cinderella. I hope you're ok. It's really hard to go through and not knowing why. I wish you all the very best for your next round abroad. We've booked in for our follow up and will prob move quite quickly to another try but today I'm feeling pretty bruised emotionally so will see how I go over the next couple of weeks. Big hugs xxxx

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It's is hard not having a good reason for failures. I think my age doesn't do me any favours and there is also a whole heap of luck involved in this too!! Sorry to hear you've had an unsuccessful attempt too, it's a rubbish feeling but it does get better with time!! Wishing you all the best too!xx

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Thank you. It is a rubbish feeling but as you say it will get easier. One day at a time. Helpful to have set the ball rolling on next steps xxx

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Hi there. I'm really sorry to hear your cycle didn't work. I've also just had my third (FET) cycle end with a bfn and know how hard it feels. I read your comment about 'another failure from your stupid body' and know exactly what you mean. I can't even enjoy a big glass (or two) of wine as it ends up making me feel weepy and sad. GAH. If you find anything is working particularly well in picking yourself up and carrying on do let me know! I did my test on Monday and was obviously sad but then had a really busy week at work, which has helped me not to think. I've found the weekend harder though. Anyway, hope you're taking good care of yourself and, again, I'm really sorry. It's rubbish.

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Thanks for your message! Sorry to hear you haven't been successful. It's a hard pill to swallow!I would just have a big wine, I do think it's good to have a cry even if it is through wine....its good to get it out and allow yourself to grieve. I just find that knowing what I'm doing next is therapy in itself. I've picked a new clinic and requested my notes so I can get cracking. I guess just moving on helps me but I am a planner and it's not for everyone!! Sending you a big hug!xx

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You sound like you're a very brave person who is doing amazingly. What a trooper. I hope you're able to get going with your new clinic soon. Best of luck and thank you for the encouraging words too!

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Not sure about being brave though a few people have said the same! Probably just a bit of a crazy woman on a mission!!😂 Thank you, all these nice messages help too. The support I get from here is amazing as you lots are the only ones that understand!!xx

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I'm the same MissyR. Was ok during the week because busy but this weekend has been hard, especially because OH is at work all weekend so got to much time to myself. Hope you're beginning to feel a bit better xx

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Hi Fredaflinstone, I'm sorry to hear that. It must be really hard if your partner is working at the weekend. I really struggle to know what's best - as Cinderella5 says, it's ok to have a cry and feel angry. Good to get it out and all that. But on the other hand, it's no good feeling like that all the time. So then I try and arrange to see people and do stuff, but then that's hard if your heart's not in it *sigh*. Hope you're ok. This whole thing was sent to make us loopy!

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Feeling a bit better this eve, thank you. Big hugs to you and Cinderella. We'll get there ladies. We are strong women and we can do this! I think it was actually pretty helpful me being on my own as it gave me a chance to have a think and process how I'm feeling and take it all out on the garden weeds and sleep. If nothing else, the garden is now weed free. Wishing you all the very best for next time xxxx

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Sorry to hear this sending hugs xx

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