Awake since 3 am - how do you control the stress?!

I've finally given up on sleep, after waking at 3 and lying in bed wide awake! We had our EC yesterday and it went really well - lots of eggs. But once I woke at 3 to go to the loo I couldn't help but start to worry about the call tomorrow - how many will fertilise? Will we get good useable embryos? I'm so tired and yet just can't sleep. And at every stage here on in (to childbirth if we're really lucky) it is going to be like this - waiting and wondering and hoping nothing goes wrong. Meanwhile DH has happily slept through the night and is still snoring next to me (SO unfair!). How do you ladies cope with the stress of it all, particularly in those night hours when you can't just try to distract yourself with other things? Any tips?

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  • bless you! I feel the same and it made me smile what you said about OH. Mines the same. Some nights I feel like kicking him when he's snoring. They just don't share our stress at all or perhaps they do but show it in different ways.i can't give any advice as I've been awake for some time worrying about our 13 wk scan today and in pain after tooth extraction yesterday. Yes, it never ends! But have the end goal in mind and that it'll all be worth it. Good luck for the call xx

  • Thank you, and I hope the 13 week scan goes well today! A tooth extraction right now is also really not what you need - poor you. Xx P.s I was so close to shaking him awake by about 4, and telling him how unfair it was he was asleep while I was not. Thankfully I JUST managed to hold myself back!

  • Headspace app! Hang in there...

  • Thanks - I'm going to download that today.

  • It's nice to know it's not just my hubby that also snores peaceful through the night. I've had a lot of trouble sleeping since my journey began and I also agree with the headspace app. Do you go bed to early? You could try going to bed later and seeing if you'd sleep longer into the morning. Wishing you lots of luck for good news today xx

  • Thank you! I don't go to bed particularly early - 10.30 or so. I'm going to get the app today and hope it makes a difference as otherwise I fear there will be many more nights of listening to the (not remotely soothing) sounds of hubbie snoring!

  • I know that feeling, I often elbow mine he just grunts rolls over and starts again 😂 hopefully the app will help, do you have Acupunture or anything? I found that helped my sleeping to x

  • I go to the gym and run and bike it so as to physically tire myself out to stop my brain - it's not working really

    I've woke up today and just want to stop IVF today totally and go back to just being me again.

  • I know that feeling... I have had a lot of days like that too. It is such a hard process. And sometimes when I have had those days I feel guilty about it too - does this mean I don't want a child enough? But the logical part of my brain knows that it is natural to feel that way. Couples blessed with fertility don't have to go through what we do and overanalyse things so much. It is a really gruelling and awful process.

    I know different clinics' advice differs as to exercise. Mine said it was fine to keep going during the stimms until my ovaries were swollen - basically to stop when it was uncomfortable. So the last time I went to the gym was a week ago today and then I had to stop. And I'm missing it so much right now! I definitely don't feel up to it but really miss that feeling a good work out gives me, and the chance to escape my own head for a bit!

  • My clinic hasn't mentioned anything about exercise - tbh it wouldn't stop me either way, like you say i'll stop when its uncomfortable, that and a glass of Processo is my only joy right now it cant all be IVF IVF IVF 24/7

    Yes I feel like that with the guilt, getting pregnant to my mind is something you should enjoy doing something that brings you together - not all this... I look at my hubby watching TV and his day to day hasn't changed a bit and it makes me resent him, he does support me he tries - but he just isn't affected the way I am, he's not arranging the appts being poked and prodded etc reading up on the side affects, reading all the info the clinic sends and preparing the drugs.

    I'll be that drained by the time its over I feel like the last thing i'll be ready for is a pregnancy! I just am feeling more and more that this isnt the way for me to go.

  • Only you can know what is and isn't right for you and whether you want to go down this path. But, first of all, my NHS clinic told me that alcohol is actually fine during down regs and stimms - there are no contraindications with the drugs but just don't binge drink! So don't feel guilty about that prosecco. I had wine during the process and just got a call to say loads of our eggs fertilised so it didn't seem to do any harm.

    Secondly, I think what you are feeling is completely normal. Or at least I hope it is as that is how I feel a lot of the time too. When my husband finally woke up this morning he had to put up with me (very stressed and sleep deprived) shouting that it wasn't fair he got to forget about this process and sleep! And I completely lost it at him when I asked the other day whether he had been ejaculating every third day, as the clinic told him to (given I really haven't felt like sex during the process!), and he responded that he didn't like to talk about it. My response was a pretty angry one, pointing out all the indignities I have been suffering on a daily basis! My husband is great and I love him to death, and he is supportive. But we have had a few arguments along the way - the same sort of things you mention about him not reading all the info and just expecting me to be the oracle on IVF. But it isn't their bodies going through this and it is easier for them. They do seem able to forget about it, at least for stretches, in a way we can't. And we are so pumped full of hormones. I think we would be saints if we didn't resent them at times. X

  • I've been dreaming about the call all night so can't really give much advice as I'm no better! However you're not alone! Good luck xx

  • I don't think Ive slept a proper night after the night sweats kicked in during DR. I started DR in Feb! Just coming up to 16weeks and now I'm up 3 times a night to pee.

    Headspace app is supposed to help although I either get distracted or fall asleep-I am not an advertisement for it at all.

    Just try to be gentle on yourself and do things that make you happy during the rollercoaster ride.

    Thinking about it, after EC I felt like some of the pressure was off me and I painted our garden fence and ate loads of Brie as it felt like the embies were with the babysitter and I could just get on with stuff like normal for a few days.

    Quickly have a hot bath and lift heavy stuff before you get into the 2ww and everything is banned.

    Hope the call goes well x

  • I found the Calm app was (& still is) amazing for sending me to sleep. There are a couple of free sleep stories & even the meditation helps. Also breathing exercises help to send me to sleep. Breathe in for 4 counts, hold for 7 & breathe out for 8. I keep going until I nod off! I hope that helps. Xxx ps. I haven't looked at your update yet but hope all went well!!

  • Thank you - am going to try that tonight! It all went really well and we are looking at a 5-day transfer on Sunday! I expect the insomnia and general craziness will be even worse after that.

  • I hope you found the app as useful as I do!! & I hope it gets you through the 2ww. Good luck! Xxx

  • I also have the calm app and I've found the meditation (which I find better before I go to bed) really helps me go to sleep.

    Good luck 😉

  • hey how are you doing? Does your clinic give you an update of how your embryos are developing today? Im waiting on a call today about mine which can be anytime between 9 & 4 so Im a nervous wreck........ again! Lol xx

  • I got a call at 9.30 this morning - but I was anxiously waiting for the call so has the phone in my hand from pretty much the time I woke up until then (other than when I was in the shower when OH was made to watch my phone!). So it felt like the time dragged. Most of ours are still going strong so a 5-day transfer on Sunday! Hope you get good news soon - the waiting is excruciating!

  • Oh that's great news and also fabby that they called you nice and early too, the definitely does drag that's for sure!! Im having a sunday transfer too (and going to a big all day wedding on Saturday, great timing) but still worried how they are getting on and if they'll make it but then I had a bad experience first time round when they all died by day 3! Good luck for transfer!xx

  • Hope you have had fun at the wedding! Good luck for tomorrow. X

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