Alcohol advice

Hello all you lovely ladies. Haven't posted much since our 2nd bfn in March. To be honest been a rough old time but through the other side now and have a lovely holiday booked in three weeks time that I honestly have never been this much excited about a holiday before in my life. We have found a clinic and decided to delay treatment till after our well deserved break. Since our bfn and after I returned to the world of the living we have had a few weekends away with friends, 40ths etc and I have been sinking a few gins, prosecco etc. I do not drink at all through the week but I do think I drink more than the recommended amount on some weekends ..hence little white lies when filling int treatment forms😜however I am now getting myself all in a tizzy over alcohol. This holiday weekend one of my best pals came up as a surprise from London and more than a few gins and prosecco were sunk. Now back to normal and the working week and I am starting to panic while the psychological benefits of a fab weekend were huge as I had so much fun and laughed loads which I needed I am now worried as the eggs take 3 months to mature and that means eggs now will be ones used for treatment in August and I am all worried I wrecked my eggs now. Also we are trying naturally again..how many of you lay off the booze during a natural 2ww? I am just so torn right now as we are paying for treatment now so pressure really on however I promised myself that my dh and I would try to have fun, live life a little and have a nice holiday and do fun things as this had been all consuming for so long. I am just so fed up as I see so many others not having to even think about all this shit and it just all seems a bit unfair and my fab weekend now seems a long time ago 😢 we have so many things planned now between now and treatment that I am really looking forward too and involve alcohol and somehow I feel like I deserve to have some fun before going though a 3rd cycle yet I worry I am being selfish and for the sake of a few gins I should give it a miss and stick to water😩this is just so unfair. I was at a meeting this week where the level of alcohol taken by the mother and drugs was so upsetting to hear and she had four children..again it just so unfair😓 God all this winging making me want a bloody drink😩anyway hope you are all well out there xxxxx

17 Replies

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  • There are loads of people who stop drinking. However I didn't.. Yes i wasn't getting hammered but continued to drink throughout the ivf process. I kept to red wine and prosecco. I tried to drink loads of water to keep my hydrated but the whole process is miserable enough. I love my wine and I love chatting, socialising and being out. That is my lifestyle. For 1000s of years we have been drinking wine instead of water so relax. I ended up with 17 eggs all fertilized and 7 grade AA. I stopped drinking at transfer. Didn't work the first time but drank again up to my FET and I got a bfp. Now laying in bed feeling like I have had a drink but it's just morning sickness. Look at alternative therapies, stay relaxed or even do meditation but make decisions that you feel happy with. And loads of luck. Xxxx

  • Thanks so much for your reply and reassurance.. Congrats also on your pregnancy that's great news😀I lead a fairly healthy lifestyle despite the drink and do yoga and meditation to balance things out. I am the same as you I love you I love being out and socialising and hate that this process is making me question myself and my ways so much..good luck with everything and just think how lovely the wine will be once all this is over 🍷🍷🍷xxxx

  • You have to have a life, lovie. IVF & ICSI can take over completely, and, honestly, it can be pretty dismal: can't do this; shouldn't do that; not sure about this so won't do it just in case.

    Give yourself the summer off worrying and waiting so that when/if you do give it another go you're in the best possible mental and emotional state.

    H xx

  • Thanks mrs..your words mean a lot..I really need this holiday then we go again on our return..how's things with you? Xx

  • I understand completely how you are feeling. I have also had two failed cycles and not touched a drop of alcohol since October last year (in preparation for my first round and then I went in as soon as possible on round 2).

    I am contemplating whether to start having the odd drink again (I haven't yet) but am finding it a bit of a dilemma, again I have had all the same thoughts that you listed above.

    I don't think there is a right or wrong answer, when we were trying naturally I all but stopped drinking and I have seen others drinking away and falling pregnant in the first month of trying.

    Do what you are happy with, but please know you are not alone in how you feel xxx

  • Thanks mrs that is so reassuring..this process is playing havoc with my sanity which in turn will turn me to drink...lol..I just feel I need some pleasures in this whole shitty process xxxx

  • Yes, we absolutely do need to find things that make what is a totally shitty situation better!!

    In moderation I think alcohol would be fine. It is more important that you/we have a relaxed state of mind.

    Xx

  • It is really eggs that take 3 months to mature? Thought it was sperm that took 3 months to replace itself?

    Just found this on google but I'm no expert.

    "Most will die off in a process called atresia. Thus, only about 300-500 of these eggs will mature over a women's life span. The maturation of eggs typically takes about 14 days and can be divided into 2 distinct periods. During the initial period, many eggs, as many as 1000, begin to develop and mature." So isn't maturing during stims and only a matter of weeks?

  • Lol...God knows...this whole process turning me into a dodgy doctor...lol...think I need a drink😜xx

  • Ahhhh Vic, the things that go through our head. I feel its a constant battle in my head about what I should or shouldnt be doing! For my first round I gave up drinking completely, it was as you know a flipping disaster. Second time round I really didnt have much hope but went through the motions thinking well if this one is bad then its onto donor egg as the clinic pretty much said my eggs were cr*p and did indulge in drinks leading up to treatment cause I thought "what the hell".........cycle number was much better (though I think that was the DHEA). We went over to Turkey to a lovely adults only boutique hotel recently and it was all inclusive and I did over indulge a bit which induced a bit of guilt as Ive started cycle number 3 now. I feel a million dollars for being away before starting again and allowing myself to relax in the sun, laugh and have fun with my hubby which I think is far more important, healthy mine, healthy body and all that. Ive been getting acupuncture and even she commented that my body seems to be in a much better state this time around.....said I should go on holiday more often! Lol I guess there is no clear answer here but I do think that enjoying yourself when you're not actually having treatment is necessary, when you actually start treatment its so bloody hard so you need that down time with friends and your OH to feel "normal". People fall pregnant drinking, taking drugs etc naturally so Im not convinced that abstaining from a few drinks is going to make any difference. Just do what you think is right for you, enjoy that holiday that you are looking forward to and let your hair down a bit, you damn well deserve it!!xx

  • Hi vic!

    Just letting you know you're not on your own. I drank a bit upto egg collection (not wicked amounts)...but sometimes more than the 2 units or whatever the recommended limits are. Unfortunately got a bfn but I've never once blamed that on the prosecco! I'm halfway through down regging for my fet now and I'm still having a few glasses occasionally...although admittedly I have cut down (but that's more because I'm trying to lose the weight I put on during my 1st cycle!)

    Don't feel guilty about it as all my friends who were ttc naturally drank wine up until they got their bfp and all their kids are fine...its whatever suits you and your life style xxx

  • Hey Vic

    Everyone is different but I have a complete relaxed attitude to alcohol.

    Alcohol leaves your system so quickly and Whilst I wouldn't do it preggers or during 2ww I wouldn't stop in the lead up and as you say it's social not a problem.

    Anyway prob most pregnancies occur during alcohol fuelled night's.

    Don't stress just enjoy your hols and everything will be fine ❤😗

    Cheers 😂😂😂😂

  • I had 3 failed IUI cycles and have just had my first IVF AND A BFP. I cut back when down regging and abstained totally from a week before injections. I had some really good boozy nights out before that!x

  • Hi there, while I wouldn't advocate getting hammered all the time during treatment, I don't think a few here and there makes any difference at all. In fact, I think that being stressed has a much bigger impact and, if having a few drinks relaxes you, then it can only be a good thing. I completely abstained for, and leading up to, our fresh cycle, did everything by the book and it ended in a chemical pregnancy. For our FET (admittedly I didn't have to produce eggs) I took everything much more easily, was much more relaxed and had a drink right up until the 2ww. I even had a couple of glasses of red the night before transfer and I am now 29 weeks pregnant and expecting a little girl in August. Don't stress out about it as that will only have a negative effect. Good luck! Xx

  • I think you have to take care of your mental health as well as your physical health. A good laugh and a holiday probably do as much good as anything else. I know the book 'it starts with the egg' doesn't agree, but I think the only benefit to following that book is that it makes you feel like you have some control. If being anxious about living normally is now restricting your choices then it's probably not beneficial.

    Regarding the natural 2ww, I tend not to drink in the week before my period, but that's partly because I'm not a big drinker anyway and I've found drinking seems to make my pmt and period pains worse.

    When trying naturally, I reckon a drink can make it all more fun as well... heaven only knows infertility can make sex feel like a chore so anything that improves that has got to be good for your relationship! 😉

  • Bavaria alcohol free beer is getting me throug!

  • You ladies are all fab. I have just read all your comments t to my hubby and we had a right good giggle so going to just chill and enjoy myself without worry before going for 3rd time lucky..you guys are all amazing ❤️❤️❤️❤️Xxx

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