Hi all, this is one of those days when I feel down and would love to hear a successful story to keep my hopes high up.
I am 34, and last October I was diagnosed with endometriosis, after 1 year of TTC without success. I and my partner had several tests done, his sperm count is ok and seems like the “only” problem I had was a 4cm chocolate cyst.
My AMH levels were also a bit low for my age, 1.39 ng/ml.
I had a laparoscopy at the end of March to remove the cyst, which has grown in the meantime. My tubes were ok and I had adhesions only around the cyst, which were removed during the surgery.
My first cycle after the laparoscopy was 38 days long; unfortunately my gynecologist confirmed I didn’t ovulate during my second cycle, which was only 21 days long.
I read many stories of people conceiving right after the laparoscopy, so I was hoping something would change for the better, but the fact I didn’t ovulate during my last cycle is taking a toll on me, especially after 1 year and a half of trying.
Plus all the people around me are pregnant or just had their babies, from my best friends to my sisters. I am very happy for them, but at the same time very frustrated and jealous. Where is my baby? Why can’t I have one?
I feel very depressed and let down, angry at myself for not being able to conceive, my body is not working and I feel guilty towards my partner for not giving him the child he deserves, even though he is very supportive and keeps saying the only thing that matters to him is my health.
Everyone says I should relax and forget for the moment about it, and it will happen, but please tell me how can I relax when all I desire seems so far away? My gynecologist also says stress affects the chances of getting pregnant, and I should try to get a bit more relaxed cause everything is fine. But it’s hard, and I try but nothing seems to work.
I am also worried about my AMH and FSH levels: my AMH could be even lower due to the surgery but I cannot repeat the test at the moment due to some NHS cuts, however I had my FSH test done this morning and I am looking forward to the results (fingers crossed).
I have scheduled an appointment in September with a fertility clinic, as we are already considering IVF. I know it won’t be easy, but I just hope I can feel better and more relaxed to maximize my chances when September comes.