I'm asking for some advice. As some of you will know we are soon having results and hopefully a treatment plan. I find myself in a bit of a dilemma though - next March my in laws have paid for a week abroad for the whole family, and next August my brother is getting married in Greece.
I'm starting to get nervous that we may be heavily pregnant or have very small baby on either of those occasions. I don't really want to pause on trying for fear of it clashing but of course our travels need to be safe for both me and hopefully a little bean.
If we are referred for some treatment roughly how long is the process from being referred to fertility clinic, being seen and starting treatment itself? I know it's probably not a bad predicament to have but I've had to be honest with the family with our situation and reassure them that we will try and work is out as best as we can to be with them for both trips away.
Thanks guys 😘
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sarahlovs
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On my 1st cycle, I was referred around Jun/ July, had 1st IVF consultation in Sept where a few tests were ran, then back in the November to set the treatment plan, for treatment starting January: it will differ across clinics mind you and may even be different at mine now for newbies. But hopefully that's a rough idea for you xx
Thank you - I'm probably worrying unnecessarily at this stage cause at the moment we just have no idea what's ahead, but I just feel weary with such big plans for the family within the next 12-18 months. Going by your time frame though we should be safe all being well. If they decide to try something first like clomid do you know f that need a referral to the clinic or can the gynae do that? Thanks so much xxx
I had clomid before the IVF and it was the gynae who prescribed that during their own investigations. I did that for about 6-8 cycles across 9 months xx
Ahh ok, if that's the case we may be on something sooner than expected. At least when we get results we can let the family know the plans and they can have a heads-up that circumstances may change xxx thanks xxx
Hi sarah I knows its really hard because you feel that you can never commit to future plans with all of this. I was referred to nhs fertility clinic last March after all results diagnosed in June and receive treatment plan for following march in between all this I fell pregnant then miss carried so treatment was delayed. I think my point is even if you have a set treatment plan now things may change along the way and each clinic is different with waiting times. My partner and I have a holiday booked for a friend's wedding in September and I said back in jan if I'm pregnant and don't feel right ill just cancel it's only a holiday I don't want to miss out if I'm not pregnant and if I am I would have no problem cancelling, it's great that your family already know the situation and if you can you will go and if not you have to put yourself and your health first as there will always be other holidays Xxx
I totally get what you mean and I know the family will understand if our circumstances means we can't be there. Some of the family didn't know, such as my brother, so I felt it was only fair to give him some idea of what's going on. After all, one of my bridesmaids announced a pregnancy on the run up to the wedding and it caused all sorts of chaos so I'm sure his bride would appreciate knowing if it'll be the same story. I'm sorry to hear why you experienced a delay, it must've been so tough. I've spent my last few months wishing away the waiting times but actually it may be bittersweet next year 🙈 xxx
I know it gets a bit like that wishing away the time but you just have to know that the treatmemt is in the future and just try and enjoy the time and the things that you have planned over the next few days and weeks. Xxx
Absolutely, we went away this weekend and have made a 'payday pact' to book something every month for after payday where we can just get a bit of space, something to look forward to every month. Thanks for your advice xxx
Hi Sarah that's tricky. I was the same before my sisters wedding. We had to wait nearly 2 years we had icsi treatment but we are scotland. Definitely heard tho of other people in England only having to wait 6 months or so. We ended up having to have our wedding at easter time rather than my summer holidays due to ivf treatment. We hadn't booked our honeymoon partly because of ivf also. Luckily before we d booked it our ivf treatment was brought forward and started in the July. So we had to go on honeymoon in October! Good luck xx
Thank you, seems a lot of it is dependent on personal circumstances. And I guess each clinic probably runs different times. I'm glad the timings worked out for you eventually, as I said I don't think there's really anything that would make us put it on hold it's just trying to prepare for whatever treatment may bring 😊 xxx
It is hard because you just don't know what's going to happen and you move quicker/slower than they originally think. Its very hard but unfortunately it does take over your life. Xx
Definitely, we've found that already just with our tests, some appointments come sooner than we expect and others are that bit later. While it does feel like it can take over we do our best to have other things to look forward that are separate which seems to help as time passes by xxx
I was referred to the clinic in September. I had a further test done at hospital, which I had to wait 6 weeks or so for. We then had to confirm nhs funding before we could start & we started in february. I really hope this helps give you an idea altho each person will have a different experience x
Thank you, that does really help. I think I was quite naïve in expecting a time frame per se from people on here, it has indeed made me realise that each circumstance is different. But it seems a general consensus that if referred to fertility clinic, we can expect to wait a few months thank you xxx
I was referred in October 2016, had my first consultation and my treatment started in February 2017. The whole cycle ended in March because I was on a short protocol. Actually IVF can be quite a short process once you are referred, have had your funding confirmed and all the initial tests done, it can be a few months at most and the medical procedures were really only taking place over the course of 4 weeks (if you are on a short protocol). My monthly cycle has now returned to normal and apart from putting on a bit of weight from the process, my body is back to what it was like before.
For me, the lasting effects have been mental and emotional.
We cancelled going to a wedding abroad in April because we thought I might be pregnant then and in the first few precarious weeks of embryo development. We had to tell the bride and groom, but they were very understanding and in the end we probably could have gone as I did not fall pregnant. But I was in no physical or emotional state to go to the wedding (especially since the bride is pregnant!), so it was best we stayed home.
My advice would be to explain your situation to your family. It is common for couples to have to put their life on hold for IVF, so they should understand what you are going through.
Thank you so much for your reply. I find it so interesting learning about others' journeys. I'm sorry to hear of your experience with the wedding but it sounds as though you had to do what was right for you. And I totally understand how it may feel with the bride being pregnant also. I'd be gutted to miss my brothers wedding, but he realises how precious this is to us. We are enjoying the thought of having some welcome distractions and events to look forward to, provided they can slot in well within the grand scheme of things. In that respect, we are glad we have been open with our family about the situation quite early on.
I can't start to imagine the emotional rollercoaster though. We are at a very early stage in our intervention and already there have been many ups and downs, and I guess the hardest thing so far is the not knowing where things are heading.
I wish you luck in the next part of your journey. Are you trying another cycle of IVF?
Yes, we will do another cycle as the doctor advised us to and they have a lot of good information from our first cycle now, so that will be useful. Just taking a bit of break before we begin again.
My advice is... they've paid... go with the flow... don't stress yourself worrying about what ifs... if you can't go... they'll understand why... and if you can go... you'll probably be thankful of the break xx
Sound advice from emu2016, and just to add... You'll soon come to see during this "process" "journey" whatever you choose to call it, that most of it is outwith your control. You'll only make yourself more anxious trying to pre-empt too much. By all means planning a few months in advance is understandable and well & good. But beyond that you won't really achieve much other than give yourself a hernia Xx
Ahh ladies I love your responses, and you're totally right! I will be grateful for any treatment that comes our way whatever the timing is. As I will be grateful for the holidays as a welcome break. One thing I have learnt is to try and be more patient and take each next step as it comes, rather than trying to guess my way through what might happen next. However if there is cake involved I can almost guarantee that I will rightly predict I will enjoy an extra slice 😋
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