Hi i am new to here. My husband and i have been trying for 3 years with no sucess. I'm an endo sufferer and have had 3 ops for it. I've been down the fertility route and have had the blood tests and the awful dye test which cramped my womb and gave me contractions. It had to be abandoned and done in an op. They also found a small cyst on my ovary which they drained. I was give the 6 cycles of Clomid and that also failed. The doctor told me in August last year that my egg count was 2.2% and that i needed it to be over 5% to get IVF. And that was that. She said "miracles do happen" and my file was closed. I feel so lost and empty. I feel like a part of me has died. Even though i know there's no hope, i still have a tiny bit of hope in me every month, but, every month comes and i have the feeling of loss all over again. I was hoping to connect with someone/people in a similar situation.


16 Replies

  • Sorry to hear about your problems dear.. That's always hard to realize you have difficulties conceiving naturally. But you don't have to feel desperate anyway. I believe you may consider donor eggs if your womb is all right or surrogacy as a last option. What about your husband's semen? Has the doctor checked it?

    Wish you luck xx

  • Yes. My husband has children from a previous relationship, so even if i did qualify for IVF I would have to go private. When i've tried to talk to him, he's struggled to understand fully how I feel. He says he doesn't know what to do or how to help me. I'm turning 40 this year also which isn't ideal. I wanted to wait until i was completely sure i'd met the right person to have children with. Being sensible was definitely not the right decision. I understand that there are surrogacy options but i feel that all i want is my own child. One i can look at and see me in. One that has my traits and characteristics. I'm just finding it very hard to come to terms with. I feel that people think you should just have a little cry and get on with life but it's so hard to do that.

  • Ok, I see now. That's bad you have to act separately and don't have enough support and understanding from your husband. Unfortunately that's a common problem for women near 40. The quality of eggs decreases sharply and the quantity of them produced as well. And I'm convinced you don't have to wait for a miracle to happen but do something. What is your doctor saying about stimulation of your ovaries? Isn't that going to work for you? Maybe it's worth consulting some other doctors? try other clinics?

  • My doctor plus the fertility clinic that i was at both seem to have the opinion that i'm too old and that there's no other possibilities for me. They just closed my case. It was brought to a really abrupt end. They went as far as the cycle of clomid and then saud there's no more they can do for me. I've not been spoken to about any other options. I wouldn't know where to go or what to do. My husband really does try to be supportive but as he has children of his own, he can't fully understand how i'm feeling. I think i just feel really alone with the whole situation. No one at all i can talk to as no one knows what to say or understands.

  • Hi jesswickywoo. So sorry to read all this, but I feel it might be an idea to seek a private appointment to talk over your options. Even a 40 year old with a low AMH can possibly have a mild type of IVF that would encourage a few eggs that want to come out of your ovaries, rather than being forced too hard. It would definitely be worth talking it over with a specialist. if you have a look at you will be able to see a list of clinics near to you that can offer this type of treatment. Obviously I do wish you well with whatever you decide. Diane

  • Hi diane. Would my eggs be healthy enough though? Considering my history and age? Thanks.

  • Hi jesswickywoo. It would be all down to getting hold of a few remaining ones you have. They would be OK but obviously, we have to take what is in your follicles when aspirated. Trying a mild type of IVF is more gentle and often produces a couple of good eggs. Obviously can't be guaranteed, but worth talking it over with a specialist. Diane

  • Ok. Thankyou.

  • I totally agree with Diane and think that other private clinics might accept you for ivf, it sounds like you've just been unlucky with the one you have been to xx

  • Have you considered donor eggs? I know it's not right for everyone but could be worth looking into at least?

  • Its not something i want to do at the moment.

  • Also, my doctor said i'm not ovulating yet when i've done the sticks it says i am. When i bought this up with her she said it was from blood results from that month and that it may not necessarily be like that the next month. I'm so confused with this. She said they only take bloods once.

  • My situation is similiar to yours, I have been trying for 3 years with no joy. I just had a laparoscopy 6 weeks ago and they confirmed I have severe endo, my uterus is retroverted and my Fallopian tubes and bowel are adhered to my uterus. I'm waiting to have an op to try and fix this. It is mentally and emotionally draining and takes over your life and so I understand how you feel. I've decided to have a break for now while I wait for my op which should be 4 or 5 months. I've started the pill again y'day to help with my endo pain but mainly to stop my endo getting worse until my op. I'm going on holiday next week and are just going to relax and let myself de-stress and have fun with my husband. Sometimes we need a break along the way to top ourselves back up so we can keep going. I hope you manage to find someone who can help you, I'm sure there is someone out there that can - it may mean going private. All the best xx

  • I've had 2 endo ops. One when i was 25 and one at 26. They found endo on my womb lining and lazered it off. I had an exploratory op last year to see if there were blockages or any endo as they had to abandon my hycosy due to horrendous pain. There was no blockage and no endo but a cyst on my ovary which they drained. The worst thing about the endo op is the gas they pump into your tummy. If you don't move around enough after the op it can travel up under your ribs and shoulders and it hurts like hell. But, they did ease the pain for me a lot and helped me with my periods. The whole situation is just so upsetting isn't it? It really takes over every waking minute of our days.

    I was researching private clinics yesterday and i can have a light ivf one off procedure specifically for my age that may give me a slight chance. I really don't know what is the right thing to do. I find things so very hard.

    Good that you are going away and that you can get some rest. Hope you have a lovely time. Xx

  • So sorry Hun. I got no help either with NHS and by the time I saved for private, I was significantly older so it's very hard as I'm paying for it but with very little chance of it working.

    Could u look at private treatment? It's quite a bit cheaper abroad. My clinic in Greece still were willing to help me and I'm in my 40s. Sadly I got a bfn but they did get eggs out of me which the uk clinic failed to achieve. Donor egg probably is your more guaranteed option but if u r like me, u really want to know u have tried with your own eggs first x

  • I really would like to try with my own eggs. Am looking into going private. Something called IVF lite. May do all the fertility tests first with them to see what they say snd whether its a sensible option or not.

You may also like...