Not our time

I can't believe it but we got a negative (well 2 actually as I didn't want to believe the first). We are in shock. I had a bad feeling over the last few days but I still had hope.

When we embarked on the long & lonely IVF journey this was my biggest fear - giving my body over to a process and having no control over the outcome.

Everything seemed to be going in our favour - I produced loads of follicles, had a 5 day transfer, avoided OHSS, have 8 little frozen embryos.

Today my biggest fear has been realised. The next few days will be filled with why's and what if's.

The one good outcome of the last few months has been finding this forum & hearing stories of beautiful, strong and inspirational women - many who have been on much harder paths than me.

Thank you to each of you for sharing your experiences and giving me hope that there are brighter days ahead.

Sending positive vibes all of your ways


31 Replies

  • I'm so sorry to hear this, it is heartbreaking and frustrating every time. Take some time to relax, go for a meal or go do something exciting before your back too it all again. Best wishes for the future x

    P.S if you'd like to chat feel free to message me x

  • Oh -noodles- my heart is breaking for you. This is the toughest time. Let your cry and be upset it is just awful. The emptiness is so real and unfair. I am sending you all my love today and beyond. Do you still have 8 frozen embies? I hope once you feel up to it you can get a plan together to reunite with your snow babies xxxxxxxx

  • So sorry to hear this, bfn's are rubbish and cruel. Look after yourself xxx

  • I am really sorry to read this, had everything crossed for you. Hope that things will seem brighter in the weeks ahead. Sending hugs xx

  • Really sorry to hear it hasn't worked. This whole long journey is so very very hard. Hardest thing I've ever done. You are a special person in that you have battled through and walked this path with all of its dark, uncertain and demanding days, remember that. You are resilient and special. xx

  • So sorry noodles, what a very unfair ending to this cycle. Look after yourself, thinking of you xx

  • Sorry to hear this noodles. You have hit the spot with this comment:

    "this was my biggest fear - giving my body over to a process and having no control over the outcome."

    There was nothing you could have done. But it makes it no easier. Big hugs xx

  • I'm so so sorry, thinking of you xxx this whole journey is so hard. Sending you lots of love xxxx

  • Oh noodles so sorry to hear this news. Take care if yourself x

  • Oh noodles. I'm so sorry to read this. Be kind to yourself and take time to heal. X

  • So sorry to hear this look after yourselfs and definatly treat yourselfs

    Sending big hugs x

  • So sorry for your bfn. It's really tough I know. Take heart in the number of beautiful embryos you still have, that's amazing in itself! You did well! Take some time, look after yourselves and come back fighting 💪🏻 x

  • So sorry to hear this ..stay strong and sending lots of positive vibes for hope in the future x

  • I'm really sorry you got a BFN. It's a horrid experience.

    Take care of yourselves.

  • Hey noodles so sorry you got a bfn. Take some time to process this and do something nice for yourself xxx

  • So sorry Noodles you been incredible supportive of me. Really wish your result had been different you deserve it. Hoping you can use these next few weeks to come to terms with it and make plans for another round if that's what you want.

    Thinking of you xxx

  • I'm so sorry hun i can relate to this alot. I got a negative with my first ivf last December. Your so lucky you have some frozen as i didn't have any frozen so have to start all over again. Take time to heal and when your ready to start again you will know xxxxx

  • I'm really sorry to hear that, Noodles. Loads of love and positivity to you xx

  • thank you for all your lovely words of encouragement and support - still doesn't seem real.

    lots of positive vibes ✨✨✨

  • Sorry to hear your news, big hugs x

  • So sorry for your cruel BFN. We just got ours too. It's horrible. So much effort, time, pain, money etc etc and nothing to show for it. I have had a weekend of junk food, drink and lifting heavy things and now back to reality and the NHS waiting list! That's good you have frozens waiting for you. Best of luck with them! You will get there!!! X

  • So sorry to here this, thinking of you xx

  • Sorry Noodle, it's heartbreaking . I had a similar process but failed on transfer with high quality blastocysts. Have to move on in the end and comforted myself with it doesn't always work and the fact that I had a few in the freezer, which is luckier than some...

    keep strong, time does make it better, even though I know it doesn't feel like that now...

  • i don't know why, but i feel reassured that you had the same experience - thank you for sharing. i have been going over & over every last thing & i cannot understand why it failed - everything seemed to be going so well. i guess it wasn't our time.

    sending you love & light - we will get through this ✨✨✨

  • We had a textbook cycle first time. I had a tri-laminar lining and a grade 5aa transferred (it was hatching) and still we got a bfn. Every stage had been perfect. Just got my bfp from my fet and that was a 4ab x

  • thank you lovely - there is hope 🙏🏻

  • I found the review with the doctor helpful. He will take you through the cycle and focus on transfer more. We will get through this! It just takes some longer than others!

  • So sorry to hear really is heartbreaking!sending u love & hugs xxx

  • I am so sorry hun . . .i know its devastating but you will get though it. It will just take time. . .take the time you need, then you can think about trying again. Be strong xx

  • It is a process we all go through to hopefully get our miracle(s) and don't give up, you have frozen ones left and we are here to help along the way and we are all lucky to have each other and I hope you get answers from your consultant x

  • Oh noodles, I am so sorry to be reading this. It's so unfair. I hope you are doing as well as can be expected. You have been amazing the whole way through this process, I hope you know that. I've never known anyone be so positive and supportive. I hope you're being kind to yourselves right now and taking some time out to regroup. Here for you anytime, I'm sorry that I've only just read this now, I've taken some time away from the site but if you contact me I will always reply. Sending love to you x x x

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