Hi I've literally just signed up to this as didn't know this support existed.

Me and my husband have been TTC for 3 years. We are under fertility and been told I might have problems ovulating (have been recently using ovulation sticks which have been indicating that I am ovulating) I spoke to my consultant who has told me that I need to get my BMI down to 30 before he can put me on meds to help. I'm struggling with this although I have lost weight as 30 is actually unrealistic for me. (I'm not big but larger in the chest) has anyone else been told this. I'm worried if I don't reach this BMI then we will never be parents πŸ˜”πŸ˜”.

This is really starting to affect my emotional health and my relationship with my husband

16 Replies

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  • hi and welcome! Don't despair! My BMI was nearly 35 and I honestly didn't know (naively or otherwise) that BMI had to be below 30 for IVF. I was told this last August and since then I've lost 2 stone and my BMI is now just below 28 and we start treatment this month. It's not been easy, i won't lie (especially over Christmas) but it's definitely been worth it. Good luck!xx

  • Hi and welcome 😊 we went via NHS first and was told my partners??! BMI was too high just over 30 too and they wouldn't treat us evenow though mine was fine!!. It's just rubbish. I don't think the private sector will discriminate against high BMI unless it's sky high even for females. I know it's costly but it's so worth it. We've just finished first cycle waiting to test.

    Best of luck xx

  • it is frustrating but apparently there's a higher risk of miscarriage the higher the BMI so I guess it's really for the good of everyone including our little embie!

  • Hi

    I used to have a bmi of 36, it's now 27. Have you looked into slimming world? I lost 4.5stones with them with a stone coming off in the first two weeks. Trying to stick with it over ivf treatment as im only 5lbs off 5 stone. Hubby has lost two stone on it, but he seriously cheats when away from home.

    Best diet/ healthy eating plan that I've done that's bought serious results.

    Emma x

  • Thanks guys, I'm doing slimming world and used to have a BMI of 36.6 and it's now 34.8. My problem is my chest size is 34K for my BMI to be 30 my waist size would need to be an 8 which I cannot maintain I have tried since my teens πŸ˜” If the weight of my chest was taken off my BMI would be fine πŸ˜‚. Also no matter how much weight I lose my chest stays the same 😞😞

  • I am the same it is my huge rack that's the problem. ..they should weigh your chest then subtract this from your overall weight as I am a size 12 with very skinny waist. My bmi was just under 30 on our first NHS cycle but they berated me over that as if I wasn't already feeling emotional. I have tried really hard to lose weight for this cycle and I exercise loads also and it has come down slightly. Bmi is such a crude measure and unfair they use it really. The private sector won't bother but costly..good luck xxx

  • Oh wow. I was an hour glass but the weight has dropped off the top very easily although I'd love it too get off my bum and hips instead. Stupid weight loss.

    34k is a lot. Can you get a reduction from the nhs due to back issues etc? Bmi calculation just doesn't work for some.

  • Unfortunately not as my trust won't fund breast reductions atm would have to pay privately will cost Β£6k (I just don't have that amount of money)

  • All round this is so shitty. just a thought, how close are you to another ccg boundary? We are only five miles from a border and luckily the GP is based in Surrey so we fall under their funding guidelines rather than Hampshires.

  • I can go to 2 trusts and been declined NHS by both πŸ˜”. It is really shitty I feel like such a failure.

  • Oh bless you. It's not you that's failed it's the shitty system that's failing you. They are obsessed with trying to save money regardless of the NICE guidelines and what it does to people.

    They weighed me once at the gp and once on the first appointment to the fertility specialist. Never even asked about my husband who is well over the 30.

    For the ivf appointment I just had to write our weights down.

    Bmi is rubbish unless you are average height. When I went for my lap for endo I told the nurse I'd lost 4 stone and needed to lose 3.5 more to be in the healthy bmi range. She told me that maybe overboard as I'm 5ft 11" and not to aim that low.

    Big hugs x

  • My BMI was 30.8 and now 27.3. I've lost over a stone with Slimming World. Trying to lose a few more lbs before our 3rd cycle starts end of March. My chest is also large although not to same extent as yours (im 32GG) but at most I lose a cup size or two but never anything significant, so I can sympathise!! If anything my chest looks bigger now as proportionally everything else is smaller! x

  • I'm short too so my apparent ideal weight is about 9 stone which I just cannot maintain in the past I got there and tried really hard but I look ill and feel tired all the time. It's not a good weight for me. I'm feeling so disheartened πŸ˜”

  • I'm only 5 feet tall, and in all honesty I don't think BMI works for people below a certain height as it doesn't take into account body frame or proportion. I don't know what to tell you, I agree it's frustrating and disheartening. I think even if you lose a bit and they see you've tried and are still fit and healthy it might be enough. Usually once you are accepted for IVF and in the system they don't monitor your BMI after that. I lost the same as I mentioned above on the 1st cycle, put it all on again between that and 2nd cycle, but no one checked my bmi in that time. I decided myself to lose some weight again this time as I felt better and actually had a better result with eggs on 1st one when I first lost the weight. x

  • Thank you that really helps (I'm the same height as you). I hate BMI with a passion. Good luck with your next cycle. I have my fingers and toes crossed for you xx

  • Good luck to you hon xxx

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