Hello lovely ladies,
I haven't posted for good while now. I checked in with a few of you that have given me so much support through this journey and I'm delighted to see a few of you are pregnant and I felt overjoyed to read these success stories.
My sister had a beautiful baby boy (her third) on Jan 27th which would have been my due date of the baby we lost back in June. I knew she would be having her section on this day and the week leading up to it I was very upset, I couldn't stop thinking about what could and should have been, that our baby should be here too and we would have that baby in our arms, that my sister would not only be a Mum but have her first niece or nephew, that my parents would be holding 2 grand babies in their arms. I had a few cries and meltdowns but then realised I need to accept what is, let go of what was and have faith in what will be. Letting go is one of the hardest things but I've realised I can't keep torturing myself with every milestone we would have had in pregnancy and as parents. I'm letting go of the pain and 'should of beens' in favour of looking forward to our time as parents which I have faith is coming soon! I will never ever forget our little one we lost so early and I'll never stop wondering who they might have been but it's time to move forward.
I thought I would be upset meeting my new little nephew but I surprised myself and wasn't at all. I'm just so in love with him and feel I'll have a very special bond with him.
Currently on clomid cycle 2 of 3 and the. My NHS IVF will start in April if I need it. Moving forward with a positive mind and heart. I know the bad days will come but I just accept I'll feel so low those days but then pick myself up and keep going.
I hope all you ladies still waiting on your BFP's still have hope in your heart, I wish you all so much luck.
Thanks for being there xx