Second child with ivf de: Hello... - Fertility Network UK

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Second child with ivf de

christinelove profile image
70 Replies

Hello everyone! My name is Christine. I was wondering if there is someone who could give us the advice on what to do. As me and my dh are trying to find an inexpensive clinic for ivf de treatment. We have a daughter Veronica, also conceive by ivf de. She’s 2 yo and we want her to have a sibling or two. I’m diagnosed with premature menopause.

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christinelove profile image
christinelove
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70 Replies
Blondyboo profile image
Blondyboo

we are having treatment in Cyprus I have the same problem as you and OH also has low count. Its much cheaper and better success rates x

Mandy_K profile image
Mandy_K in reply to Blondyboo

hello

we are having treatment in Cyprus too. Do you mind me asking where in Cyprus?

Blondyboo profile image
Blondyboo in reply to Mandy_K

Hi we are going to north an Cyprus Drogus

Hi

Would you not consider gong to the same clinic they gave you your first?

We have just lost out boy at 17 w and even though the pain is unbearable I know we are planning on using the same donor and clinic again in time once we have healed some

christinelove profile image
christinelove in reply to

Hello! We've had some issues with the clinic. I know that it's advised and better to neither have one dr for every procedure, to nor change the clinic and everything. But we really thought that the services and staff were bad, I mean, I couldn't feel comfortable at all, like dr didn't even explained us everything well. We had to ask him for more information, for explanations as we clearly are not specialists in this. Even though we've had our Veronica thanks to that clinic we are now looking for other option... Plus I've heard that abroad you can find inexpensive clinics but with great services..

in reply to christinelove

Oh dear sorry to hear that.

We had DE and it worked first time after several failed cycles using our own eggs unfortunately I went into early labour due to weak cervix and we lost out perfect boy.

Once we are through this pain and not that we can ever replace him we are going back to the same clinic again and hopefully use the same donor again.

We used an amazing clinic in Greece their care 11/10 the staff were amazing and dr dobas was absolutely spot on.

The clinic was in Greece private message me for further info x

christinelove profile image
christinelove in reply to

That's terrible what you've been through but I hope that you feel better right now! Are you going to continue with IVF de in Greece?

I know it's better when you've already had the experience with the clinic, and if you are completely satisfied with it it's going to be a successful tx, I think. As the positive mind is one of the most important things in fertility tx. :)

Could you tell me why did you chose that clinic in the first place? What made you think this was the best option?

in reply to christinelove

I chose this clinic as the first inital contact was spot on and everything after that was of the highest standard. We felt comfortable and positive with the team that's hand fled our care x

B1967 profile image
B1967

Hi I am in similar situation am using a clinic on Cyprus . They are quite good and has high success rate. As Tamtam said why can't u use same donor so your daughter has same siblings ?

Mandy_K profile image
Mandy_K in reply to B1967

hello

we are having treatment in Cyprus

could I private message you please?

B1967 profile image
B1967 in reply to Mandy_K

Hi that's fine,

Mandy_K profile image
Mandy_K in reply to B1967

could I have your email address please

Mandy_K profile image
Mandy_K in reply to Mandy_K

oh sorry I just read you are nor able to put your personal email address so sorry please ignore last email - sorry

christinelove profile image
christinelove in reply to B1967

Thanks for replying! As I have told Tamtam we are not 100 satisfied with that clinic's services and we'd rather spend some time looking for a new clinic than stay here for another cycle. Even though we've got BFP we're still looking for a clinic. It was a miracle that we've became parents as I felt down all the time. And I do not want that experience to repeat itself.

nicknick profile image
nicknick

Hi, you would find overseas clinics that offer de on eggdonationfriends com Hope it helps xx

christinelove profile image
christinelove in reply to nicknick

Hello! Thanks for your recommendation! I've seen the site and was reading the review on various clinics, but even with all that information they give you on a clinic and everything, I cannot be 100 percent sure in what to choose. Just wanted to address my confusion I guess to someone who actually have had the experience in a clinic abroad. But anyways thank you for your reply :)

AlisonO profile image
AlisonO

Hi Everyone

We have also edited a post that contained someone's personal email address. We advise that you don't post your private contact details on the community. If you wish to contact someone do this through the private message system. To do this simply click on the persons name, it will take you to their profile then in the top right of their profile it will say 'message' click this and send your message.

Please see our posting guidelines healthunlocked.com/infertil...

christinelove profile image
christinelove

Hello! Yes please! I think that would be better if you share your experience with everybody as I went to one site where all the fertility clinics abroad are collected but for me it's really hard to choose from them. In what country did you get the treatment, may I ask? There are lots of popular clinics in Cyprus as I've seen in my replies and I was also looking for central Europe clinics. On one website there are lots of reviews on Czech, Russian clinics.. But I do not know what to think about it, so much information..

christinelove profile image
christinelove

I will also consider Cyprus clinics as an option, thank you for your comments! xx

KimDerr profile image
KimDerr

hi, i'm new here, however i'm not new to the topic in general. we underwent ED surrogacy in 2014-2015 yrs. we went internationally. actually, we were choosing a clinic not a country. however, local legislature also matters. finally, we chose Ukraine. for us it was a long journey that actually started 8 years ago. with all ups and downs, tears, despair, hope and trust, we finally became parents.

christinelove profile image
christinelove in reply to KimDerr

Hi! I'm a newbie too, but welcome to the forum! :)

How's your day going?

After 8 years! Oh my god I almost feel your despair at the time, how did you cope with that? But eventually you are here with your baby! What's his/her name? :)

Could you tell me why did you choose that clinic in Ukraine?

Thanks.

KimDerr profile image
KimDerr in reply to christinelove

Despair is left behind, sis. now it seems to me that it was written from above for us to experience all that for now we value every moment of our long-awaited parenting. and we have twins! baby boys called Theo and Oscar.we're endlessly happy although our way was rough and with lots of obstacles.

christinelove profile image
christinelove in reply to KimDerr

You took your words from my mouth! I was thinking the same but sometimes it's so hard to keep it together, I feel like I've through three wars..

I'm happy for you and your family! With such loving parents Theo and Oscar will become descent men!

KimDerr profile image
KimDerr in reply to christinelove

why Ukraine? well, it wasn't an easy choice actually. my dh's friend and his wife were travelling to Kyiv for egg donor ivf three years ago. it worked only from a second try, though. they finally conceived with their baby girl. they told many good things about the country, people and the clinic they used. Ukraine is not far for us to travel so we tried and it worked. are you also opting this reproductive medicine destination?

christinelove profile image
christinelove in reply to KimDerr

So it was a personal experience of your friends, that's better I think than searching on the internet. I wish I had someone who could advise me a clinic here in front of me. :)

Yes, I decided to change my clinic because of the whole range of personal issues with staff in my previous one. I felt bad every time going there. Even after bfp I'm sure I have to find a new clinic for now. I hope that there are clinic that have great services and will make me feel right at the place.

KimDerr profile image
KimDerr in reply to christinelove

sure, no worth continuing with those who have already let u down and made you pass through negative experience. best of luck to you in your further journey

christinelove profile image
christinelove in reply to KimDerr

Sorry to not reply to your message for so long. I have been choosing between the clinics and now I am on my protocol. This is so hard I can't even explain, when I had my first child with ivf, it was easier I think, as for now I worry too much about not getting a positive result. I was told that this nervousness won't take me anywhere and I will only make it worse if I don't stop but those words make me devastated, it doesn't help.

I am too lucky to have enough of money to be able to afford the treatment and now I think.. why did I start that again...

KimDerr profile image
KimDerr in reply to christinelove

positive approach means a lot that's true. also money is not the key factor. you may have all money in the world but still have bfns and bfns. we got our first bfp for very reasonable price. before, we paid more and got no result. so no connection at all. I think it all depends on proficiency of your doctor and some of good luck as well.

xx

albieamanda profile image
albieamanda

Hello, we used a clinic in Russia. Ava Peter. Although I am not pregnant yet I am happy with them. They have a data base of donors with photos of the donors as children. They also have a guarantee package which suited us.

Not sure where you are based by the Fertility Show in London is a great place to go and check out clinics. It's on in November I think and you can make appointments to meet doctors from the clinics you are shortlisting - much easier than having to travel to them. That's how we found our clinic.

Good luck in your search!

christinelove profile image
christinelove in reply to albieamanda

Hi! Fertility Show... that's an interesting idea! And it's definitely helpful if you've found your fertility clinic with its help. What tx have you been getting in Russia? How was it? And about the service and staff (which concerns me as much as the treatment because I've once had problems with bad staff at my previous clinic and want to find the perfect option somewhere in Europe near Russia.)

I wish you the best of luck in getting pregnant! xx

:)

christinelove profile image
christinelove

A surrogate mom in 2-3 months? That's incredible! And it sounds really promising to a person like me who hesitates a lot. How were the services over there, I mean, was the staff nice to you or something?

I can't simply think about my last experience in the fertility clinic. I was too shaken, as it's an intimate process - ivf de but dr and staff managed to traumatize for life. It was almost as they have never had a patient like me, who is afraid of the negative results and is desperate to have a baby. I've been through situations like that but never when getting a fertility tx.

I'm sorry of it's too personal, but why did you need a surrogacy program? xx

albieamanda profile image
albieamanda

I am having donor eggs with ICSI and PGS testing. It costs £29900 for three cycles with different donors if required and all FET. They also pick you up and take you to the airport and include all blood tests in that price. If you don't have a live birth you get 70% back and if you want to quit at any time you can and again get 70% back. We are just about to move on to our second donor (had 5 normal embryos from the first and 3 FET but only got a chemical pregnancy) so it was worth paying for the guarantee for us. The staff are lovely, the only compliant I would have is that sometimes they can be a bit slow to respond to emails but I do acknowledge that when I email I am generally anxious and therefore checking my phone every 2 mins for a response! They make sure that you feel welcome and even come with you to the hospital if you need any treatment - I had a laparoscopy there. I'd def recommend that you meet them at the fertility show, Dr Olga is usually there, she is my doctor and is very nice, really knowledgable and pretty straight talking. We also met some spanish clinics at the fertility show and liked them but for us having a say in who the donor was and the guarantee of a live baby rather than just a heartbeat - which is what most offer, swung it for us. Best of luck! x

christinelove profile image
christinelove in reply to albieamanda

And the prices are stable or..?

I've also heard that in Ukrainian clinic you pay 10 thousand euros for 5 cycles.. Oh, where there on the show ukrainian clinic's representatives? If so why didnt you look at those? I am now reading some contracts from poland, ukraine, czech and for the moment this one is the best in terms of services-price balance.

Could you explain me more about that guarantee of a live baby, as far as I understand you have to surpass 12 ww barrier to your pregnancy become acknowledged. And I've never read nothing about that thing.. Or maybe I do not understand smth. Oh, and how did you choose the donor??

albieamanda profile image
albieamanda

We didn't see any Ukrainian clinics there. To be honest there was so much choice you just had to opt for seeing a couple of clinics. The price is paid at the start so it's stable in that way. Most clinics say that once you see a heartbeat, so usually at a 7 week scan, that counts as the attempt having worked. As we know that doesn't mean you actually come home with a baby as so much can go wrong. The Russian clinic says it's only see as having worked once you give birth to a live baby.

You chose a donor by looking through a database of donors. They have some medical info, family info and photos of the donors as children. If you go on the website you can see.

X

christinelove profile image
christinelove in reply to albieamanda

Oh! I got it, but how long it takes to match the donor, I mean is it immediately from the point you're choosing the donor you get her in the program?? Doesn't dr have to decide the matching donor while you're in program, based on your phenotype??

And what in contract it stays that you can get your money refunded if unsuccessful?

xx

christinelove profile image
christinelove

I'm sorry for confusing that.. Definitely it's been hard of a year for me already.. xx

For donors it's really quick. to match them in such a short time, I know some women who wait for donors for a year or more, while getting ivf in Britain. That's shocking why does it take so long??? Or should I ask why it's so quick in Ukraine? I suppose that there is some database of donors and you can choose the desirable one (if I can say it in such immoral way)..?

I've seen in their website the contract examples, which one did you choose exactly and why?

What's your son name? :)

christinelove profile image
christinelove

That's comforting, I must say! So you'll get the accompanying manager and an interpreter at the same time?

albieamanda profile image
albieamanda

Hello, I think if you look on line it should answer the contract question for you. I don't have the contract here.

In terms of the donor they will let you know if she is a good match in terms of the number of eggs she has produced previously. There is no other matching done - I guess if you hve specific problems they might have to but with me it was as simple as choosing.

They have an English co-ordinator, you can just call her and she can answer all questions. She is called Tamsin and her number is on the website. I've spoken to her a lot and she is very good.

Good luck!

christinelove profile image
christinelove in reply to albieamanda

Thanks! But I meant how long does it take to find a donor. When you choose one, is it like an immediate decision or what? I've heard that in England it can take months or years to find a donor, or for example as I've been told in Ukraine it counts in days (2-4 or something). I'm just curious if it's faster than in UK, cause it's really slow. Also do you have to show the clinic some additional certificates apart from the results of your tests? How it was to you? If it's ivf de for example, do I need to make some docs or smth?

I've heard actually that russians are kind of rude, I mean for us foreigners. Was that some kind of a problem to you while in Russia? Cos different cultures you know etc

albieamanda profile image
albieamanda

Hello, there is no wait. You chose the donor and if they think she is a good match in terms of previous donations then it goes ahead and she starts to cycle.

In terms of documents you have to provide passport and test results but nothing more. You will need a visa to go to Russia like any other tourist. This is a little bit of a hassle compared to say Spain where you can just jump on a plane.

I've found the Russians to be very nice. I suppose not everyone in the street is welcoming you with open arms but it's the same in London! The clinic staff are lovely and very helpful. The times I have been there I have only been for a few days at a time. St Petersburg is a beautiful place and well worth seeing.

christinelove profile image
christinelove in reply to albieamanda

Thank you for replying again! You choose donors before you sign the contract or after? Can I see the catalog before coming to the clinic? Is that possible?

Oh, do you have to undergo some additional examinations in the clinic? Or just my tests are enough?

But what about all those russians against gay men or some kind of repressions? I don't know much and sorry for possibly being rude but Russia doesn't have good reputation in the world.. kind of scary But I have to agree that St Petersburg is a lovely place in terms of the architecture, culture and history.

albieamanda profile image
albieamanda

Hi, you can get access to the donor database straight away if you go on the Ava Peter website and email them. No need to sign a contract or anything for that. We chose before signing the contract or paying any money.

I had some blood tests at the clinic, an x-Ray and a hysteroscopy there before my first cycle.

It's a cosmopolitan city fairly like any other big city in Europe. I didn't see anything at all that was scary. In fact the first time I went alone as my partner couldn't come and I felt perfectly safe wandering around, attending appointments and shopping. I think maybe the perception is much worse that it is and you are likely to be surprised if you go there. We would def go back for a holiday independent of the ivf process.

If you contact them they do come to London quite often I think so you could maybe arrange a meeting before embarking on a trip. They also do Skype meetings so maybe that would help you decide if they were right for you.

christinelove profile image
christinelove in reply to albieamanda

How is it even possible to give an access to donors’ database to someone who didn’t sign any document. What if some maniac gets an access to all of the girls profiles, what's then? For me as for the client it may be neat but I worry about the girls. It's not good when the clinic sends everybody your picture and other information...

KimDerr profile image
KimDerr

a pleasant surprise while choosing a donor for us was not only a donor base with pictures but also a video base: a collection of small video of each donor available. it made the process less stressful and well-grounded.

christinelove profile image
christinelove in reply to KimDerr

Wow! What? I've never heard about such a thing! A video data base of donors, that's so thoughtful of the clinic to provide their clients with this, I bet your clinic is really luxurious and expensive if they have videos and pictures of donors. Some of us don’t even get to choose the donor not talking about watching a video and surfing the database..

christinelove profile image
christinelove

That's bad, that the client can't meet the donor, why is that so? I don't understand. What if I want to talk to this girl who will give us her eggs.. But maybe that's for a better, if it's their policy..

KimDerr profile image
KimDerr

yes they are quite thoughtful and patient oriented so there're always a lot of IPs there. at times it even seemed to me that the clinic was too small to place and treat all the people in wait.

video base is their great advantage. u have opportunity to choose several donors, but still dr takes final decision based on medical criteria

x

christinelove profile image
christinelove in reply to KimDerr

So there were lots of people in the clinic, it seems to be quite popular. But I think Kiev is too far away and they still managed to surprise me with their services! I do not think there are a lot of clinics or centers that provide such high quality services. Just to think about creating a donor video database sounds incredible. Also makes me wonder if they have something that extraordinary with other things here? :)

Lady_in_red profile image
Lady_in_red

omg, what's the case for your premature menopause? your ovarian reserve is over? dont find me rude but how old r u? thanx

christinelove profile image
christinelove in reply to Lady_in_red

Genetics, my mom has started her menopause at her 35. And I am in my late thirties too right now.

Lady_in_red profile image
Lady_in_red in reply to christinelove

so sorry that's too early ;(

still I know that women give birth to babies even in their 70s. yeah? maybe around a month ago there was fuss about indian women who delivered her FIRST baby at age over 70. sure, it was a donor egg but still

modern technologies, medicine, equipment and experienced doctors can do miracles

christinelove profile image
christinelove in reply to Lady_in_red

Really? How come I missed that? Wow being 70 yo and delivering a baby, amazing, that gives me hope and it makes me believe that I still can be a mother.. Can you imagine that, delivering a baby in 70 yo?? She must be really healthy, I hope she will live for at least 20 years to see her kid achieving all of the best things in the world. Wow just wow Knowing how hard for me was my first experience..

Yes, that's kind of depressing. I have my lovely daughter and she is everything to me but still we want her a brother

KimDerr profile image
KimDerr

unfortunately, menopause may happen in women if almost any age, even in 20s. however, there shall be so many factors all in combination to provoke this.

evamait profile image
evamait

Hi Christine. I've read about your concerns that you won't be able to meet your donor. And wanted to add something I know from my recent experience. My dr also explained me this issue and he did say that even though the donors egg and fathers sperm are the ones responsible of the dna of your future child it'll be impossible to meet your donor as all her participation in the program is limited to egg donation (also before the tx she's getting some stimulation of course). That's all. Unlike the surrogate mother who is carrying your baby but has nothing to do with its genetic material. But for 35 weeks she is the "container" of your child and she has the direct influence on the health of your kid so it's better to get to know the woman when it's possible to make sure she feels okay so the baby will be delivered healthy.

christinelove profile image
christinelove in reply to evamait

Thank you for such full explanation! That was really nice of you, because I was really wondering why we can't contact the donors we even have the videobase etc. I was hoping someone would explain this to me. I hope that I'll be able to see the girls' personalities in those videos and to choose one that I'll like the most.

And your explanation of the differences between the surro mom and the donor is on point. Thank you so much!

What kind of treatment did you have?? xoxox

evamait profile image
evamait in reply to christinelove

Hi! Your welcome, but seriously I just wanted to share my thought on it.

I've just signed with one clinic I was recommended. We went with surrogacy donor egg program (I think that it was about 49 thousands euros) and now are waiting for the surrogate mother. I think it won't take them too long, as the dr has promised us that in 2-3 months we will get the confirmation and we will be flying to the transfer.

How's your progress?

christinelove profile image
christinelove

Wasn't the contract full or something? I suppose they have to have the decent contracts that are covered by the law in the Ukraine...I am happy that you have finally made it to the tx and are going to have a daughter!!! That’s so cool, I am only dreaming about that.

What else is included in that vip contract?

evamait profile image
evamait in reply to christinelove

No that was just a standard one, but we had to make sure that everything is okay, that we do not throw our money away. I have contacted our personal translator and she was able to explain me every single moment of the contract I failed to understand completely. Also we could just take our invoice and fly back hope and pay through the bank but we thought that it’d be so much more easier to have a consultation by phone with all our friends, all was good until I have found out that all of the money on my smartphone they gave me have ended and we had to beg them to put some on my account. I do not get that. They were mad at me I suppose, but whatever. We checked everything and the manager reprinted the contract and we were signing it the same moment.

christinelove profile image
christinelove in reply to evamait

Oh, but why did they have to put money on your phone? I mean, they are not responsible for your conversations, are they? It's great that you could have the actual consultation with your translator before the actual signing, makes me believe even more in clinic's credibility I guess

evamait profile image
evamait in reply to christinelove

It was the phone they gave us to be able to quickly contact us while we in Kiev. And I was using it as they have told us that the phone is fully charged with enough money to receive and make calls.

Yes, I was surprised they were waiting calmingly for us to check everything..

christinelove profile image
christinelove in reply to evamait

But aren’t you suppose to use it as your contact phone not your personal one? I still don’t get it, why would you use the clinic’s phone to call your friends or anyone else?

evamait profile image
evamait in reply to christinelove

Yes, they gave me it with the intention to contact us right away when they get news, but I still was really upset with such a reaction when I have told them that we need more money for the phone. And the girl said that they will send some, but I felt how she was irritated by that...

christinelove profile image
christinelove in reply to evamait

But still she put the money on your phone, didn't she? I think you are imagining things..

michaelgorik profile image
michaelgorik

Evamait, they gave you the phone while in Ukraine?? The clinic itself? Wow, never heard of the clinic that will supply its clients with the phone...

christinelove profile image
christinelove

I am sorry to hear about your high tension but maybe the clinic was not at fault here, maybe it was you who were worrying too much, hun? And kids.. Aren't they the flowers in the garden called life? We all love them, you too no doubt. And sometimes it's hard for infertile women to see how happy other families are with kids and everything, but are so close to getting the baby that you should see those kids as the sign of success. And fertility clinic that has kids running everywhere... isn't it a great thing? it proves once more the effectiveness of the tx that is provided over there... imho

isitonlyadream profile image
isitonlyadream

Don't think those sorts of comments are helpful on here. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion and beliefs but to put it bluntly you are just plain rude. This is a fertility forum and we are all on here through no fault of our own. I suggest you kindly keep your comments to yourself and go away.

isitonlyadream profile image
isitonlyadream

Everyone has their own opinions and beliefs and as we have to allow you to have yours you must show the same consideration and allow us to have ours. If you disagree then I suggest maybe you look at other forums that might support your beliefs.

christinelove profile image
christinelove

I think it'll be better for you to leave the forum, because you are not going to over persuade anyone. We are grown women and if we decided to get the tx we will be following this path. I see that your beliefs are really strong but don't you think that trying to put in the propaganda here is a bad decision?

If God doesn't want me to undergo any ta he won't allow me, using your logic..

MommaBear16 profile image
MommaBear16

As our lovely friend above has suggested; you are entitled to your opinion but negative comments are not commonplace nor acceptable on this site. This is a site to support all woman who have any of the struggles associated with infertility. Many of these issues are medical and not through any fault/choice of our own. In a similar way that we seek medical treatment if we have anything else wrong physically with us, many are seeking medical guidance for this. Our medical care is none of your concern.

Could I suggest that, just as we have, you find a site where you can share your similar beliefs on this matter and not upset or distress the ladies on this site any further as this whole process is physically and emotionally upsetting enough.

I do not wish to debate this any further and will wish you a good day.

KimDerr profile image
KimDerr

keepthefaith777 you found a wrong place for expressing your ideas. sure, your're entitles to have your own point of view but please understand it hurts to most women here. don't make witches of us. we all are just loning for our own piece of happiness.

you do what makes you happy, and we do what makes us happy. that's it.

lets be respective to each other

we're ladies, after all

we shall be tolerant

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