Researching clinics abroad : DE

[Ladycoco20]

Morning ladies , needing some help .

I’m using lockdown to research clinics abroad for my first DE . Failed ivf in September & my councillor is keen for me to investigate more than just 2 clinics. Looked into a Greek clinic & the clinic we used for ivf in the uk .

Any information or recommendations would be gladly heard

Had lots of amazing ladies reach out to me over the past few months . I’m feeling overwhelmed with DE & what clinic to go with ?!

Thanks so much 🥰

[Knittingababy]

Hi Ladycoco20, haven't really explored this area yet but I too am likely to embark on same research so would be keen to support you/split the work and compare notes if you are up for that xx

[Ladycoco20 in reply to Knittingababy]

Hiya , Iv been looking into de abroad since September. Ladies on here really have saved me from going mad !

I’m linking up with a clinic in Greece Friday so I’ll see how I feel after that.

Sure your journey hasn’t been easy? Is DE your next hope ?

S xx

[Knittingababy in reply to Ladycoco20]

Hey, thanks for getting back to me. Hope it goes well on Friday and you get all the info and good vibes from the clinic. I'm starting to get my head around DE process etc as it may be the best way forward for me. Still praying that IVF somehow kick started my fertility and you never know I might get lucky naturally....xx

[Ladycoco20 in reply to Knittingababy]

I hoped that too ! No joy 🧐

What’s your story / journey so far ? Have you been advised to consider de ? Xx

[Knittingababy in reply to Ladycoco20]

I had my son when I was almost 38 and didn't realize there was this "old women old eggs" situation doctors bang on about. I went via NHS for investigations and they said my chances were similar with conceiving naturally or via IVF but they advised IVF....I didn't want to use that particular clinic and took ages researching clinics...then lockdown came along and delayed me a bit....I have heard of a few people who have been successful via DE and I also know of someone who is there years older than me who got pregnant naturally....she has two teenage kids and a 8 month old! So I keep jumping between"natural"/just let it be....to feeling like I need to carry on trying via IVF....but maybe I should just move straight to DE...but that in itself is a mission to plan as it likely means going abroad. I do feel super lucky I have a child and I feel for everyone on this forum which I absolutely love. It's been a far less lonely journey simply because this zone is here for all of us. My friend and I were saying that sometimes you just feel a weight/shadow with you all the time when you are on this journey and it takes so much resilience and strength to stay "normal/positive" when many days I just feel so low. It messes with your mind in so many ways. I really hope you/we all get our little miracles in the not so distant future xx

[Ladycoco20 in reply to Knittingababy]

That’s an interesting journey, thanks for sharing. It can be such a lonely & isolated place this Fertillity club !

We constantly compare & like you say sway between all the options searching for the right one .. it’s exhausted. This site has been so helpful & supportive over the past 3 months .. I reached out after our failed ivf 😩 Iv got a 25 yr old son ( previous) Myself & my partner have had every test & are unexplained. My AMH is good but it seems my egg quality isn’t so good ... wasn’t found out till after ivf . Ivf was so incredibly difficult the highs & lows are something else .

So we have been told our best chance of a pregnancy & baby is De. Trying to navigate my way round it ! But I’m feeling a little hope that we may get our family . Personally “waiting “ to fall naturally has taken its toll & I feel out of control & it’s so consuming.. so de is our path fingers crossed 🤞🏼 2021 .

How old is your son now , he’s a little miracle ✨ xx

[Knittingababy in reply to Ladycoco20]

He is six now and yes you don't realise how lucky you are sometimes...it's crazy! What kind of budget fo you reckon for around of DE? I better start saving. X

[Ladycoco20 in reply to Knittingababy]

Greece is around £5000 , we will find out costs Friday . I know flights & accommodation is extra .. we are looking to stay for 10 days . Egg retrieval then embryo transfer 🤞🏼

We’re roughly same as then !

Xx

[Knittingababy in reply to Ladycoco20]

Hi Ladycoco20...how did the clinic consultation go x

[Ladycoco20 in reply to Knittingababy]

🙋🏽‍♀️ hi

Better than could have hoped for .

We are going ahead . Very professional & personal zoom appointment .

Thanks for asking xx

[Maisie234]

Hi, I used this website to help me eggdonationfriends.com

I am using a clinic in Spain, so far they seem good, although I have just had one failed round, but they are straight on it testing me for everything.

The things that I looked at were location, ease of travel, price, how much information they give you on the donor before transfer. My consultant is in London so we are always in touch and she is so handy to have.

Greece seems to be really popular on here, and the Czech Republic seems better cost wise. Feel free to ask anything x

[Ladycoco20 in reply to Maisie234]

Hiya 👋🏼 Thanks for your reply. Sorry you had a failed cycle, it never gets any easier. Yes Iv seen a clinic in Spain pop up on here a few times . I’m sure they all have features & benefits .

We have our first zoom call Friday with Greece Iv got a few questions . My main worry is , is it really anonymous abroad? My councillor has said it’s not .

What’s your thoughts on telling your child / children about DE?

I’m all over the place with the big jump to DE. But I’m 44 & it’s my last realistic hope

When are you doing next cycle?

S xx

[Maisie234 in reply to Ladycoco20]

Oh good luck for Friday! I never thought I'd go down the donor route but here I am too. How are you coping?

I believe it is totally anonymous. When I left the clinic in October they gave me a number to call in-case I have a 'live' birth (hate that phrase), and what they will do is record it and only use the donor for a limited number of times. I guess they keep that on file for years and years. As far as finding out who they are, that's not possible. In the UK its not anonymous.

Times have changed so much. There's so many donor children now, or blended families, single parents..it's a different world than years ago when I was young! I'm happy to tell the child they were the most wanted child in the world and some kind lady helped me. I think I'll be as open and honest as possible.

Its funny my cousin was doing research on the family tree and found out that some members of my family might not be as related as we thought. I bet there's loads of stories like this. I'm not ashamed, but I'll not be telling anyone in the family, (none of their business ) that's up to the child when they are older. That's my thinking?

Probably do the next cycle after Xmas. How about you? XX

[Ladycoco20 in reply to Maisie234]

Yes this journey is so very unpredictable! Here we are looking into De , I’m feeling overall good about the idea ... it’s my last chance . I feel the same as you regarding telling the child the truth & 💯 no one else needs to know .. lots of ladies have echoed that it is anonymous abroad so I’m feeling more confident. How did you find the donor matching process , Did they match you or offer a match ?

Agree so many families are mixed up & are made up of all sorts literally! All the baby needs is love ... and boy are they sooo wanted

Xx

[Maisie234 in reply to Ladycoco20]

It's so nice to hear your views too. 🙂 I'm glad you're feeling good about it. Onwards and upwards!

The first donor they offered was the wrong hair and eye colour, that threw me! I declined. They used software to find a match to my features. So I think the computer concentrated on face only? Then I got a match that on paper looked good. (Hair, eye, height, complexion to match mine, also she had success before). I wouldn't mind if they didn't use the software because no one seems to have a problem from what I've read about and maybe that's better! Don't be afraid to change donors if there's something you don't like, is all I'd say. It was all very quick too because of all the ready and waiting donors. Xx

[Ladycoco20 in reply to Maisie234]

Hiya

Super thrilled after our zoom meeting! Roll on 2021 🙏🏽 Xx

[Maisie234 in reply to Ladycoco20]

Glad it went well. So nice to have something to look forward to and a plan! Yay!! X

[Cinderella5 in reply to Ladycoco20]

I can give you some reassurance that DE is completely anonymous in Greece, I had treatment in Athens. The info you get is basic, height, weight, hair colour, eye colour, job. They also do their best to match to you.xx

[Ladycoco20 in reply to Cinderella5]

Thank you for reassurance, Iv been getting mixed messages in this topic !

My first zoom meeting with Greece Friday 🙏🏽

Did they match you or offer you a choice of matches ?

Xxx

[Cinderella5 in reply to Ladycoco20]

Good luck, hope it goes well. I got offered an option but they had back up ones for me if I wasnt keen. Sometimes too much choice just confuses things too much.xx

[Shirazlover2013 in reply to Maisie234]

Thanks so much for the eggdonationfriends.com suggestion, loads of information on there. I’m trying to keep a sceptical mind in case there’s a paid element to the clinic recommendations though. But in general so much helpful information!!