Just the one.

[Mantaray75]

Feeling slightly gutted that after 20 follicles on scan, 8 eggs, 4 fertilised with 2 looking very good and then today heard that only one survived to be frozen. I know thats all it takes but I think it hit me today how much my body has been through in the last few months.

The embryologist was lovely and said these numbers were what they would expect. However, when she cheerily said goodbye and casually, 'enjoy the rest of your weekend' I wanted to throttle her. People have no idea of the emotional cost of this. As a doctor, all my colleagues refer to the statistics and ask me all the science behind it - I don't care so long as I get pregnant.

Ok, rant over. Thanks for reading.

x

[MommaBear16]

Sorry to hear this I can understand your disappointment. You are right though one is all it takes and hopefully all you will need. You're right they don't understand, unless you've been trough this process yourself you couldn't possibly understand.

Hope you have some recovery time now before your FET x x x

[Mantaray75 in reply to MommaBear16]

Hope you're feeling better now. x

[baby2016]

I think people just get used to dealing with the same things as part of their jobs, and we all just become a number to the people doing it, not on purpose, just what happens naturally. True empathy only happens when the person dealing with you has been on the same journey, and as we all know its def a huge emotional rollercoaster to be on. Stay positive and have hope, its what gets us all through, and hope can and does turn into miracles 😄 Xx

[Mantaray75 in reply to baby2016]

I think things like this will make me a better clinician. I work in a hospice where often it can be hard to understand the awful time my patient's and their families are having. I just feel (and hope) that in palliative care we're a bit more thoughtful than some of the health professionals I've met during my IVF journey.

[baby2016 in reply to Mantaray75]

I'm sure you are brilliant at your job and show lots of empathy, its a tough job you do and very admiral of you! I was a police officer for several years and doing that job changed my whole mind set. I love harder, forgive quicker and just enjoy life. Its far too short for regrets or stubbornness as i'm sure you see with your job. Just think that because of how good your empathy and listening skills will be you'll have made so much difference to your patients and their families lives 😊 x

[Karinyaa]

Dear, Mantaray! I'm so sorry you're having tough moments. But this is absolutely clear as docs can hardly imagine what a roller coaster we have to go through passing the treatment. (Until they've been in the process themselves..) I dropped in to say that even with 1 nice healthy embryo you have got great chance of success. I happened to read somewhere a woman didn't get even one after fertilization. So this is a real disaster and obviously she will continue IVF with donor eggs now.

I truly believe your situation is just normal. Try to keep busy not to over think the process before it begins. I'll be praying for you, hun! Stay strong XX

[pm27]

I was disappointed with the fertilisation rates on our first round. Out of 13 eggs 12 were mature but we only got 2 suitable embies. We were warned that even with a high number of eggs there's no guarantee of success.

Hopefully your embie will be the one and you'll get your BFP soon.

Saying "enjoy the rest of your weekend" is a normal thing to say and she probably meant it. When we're going through treatment (and after) we're very sensitive and may read more into comments than intended. The professionals involved have to remain professional. Nurses often appear more sympathetic but this may be because they aren't making the clinic decisions. Just my thoughts having been through three rounds of ICSI at 2 clinics.

[Mantaray75 in reply to pm27]

Yeah, I know I just being a bit over sensitive and she was really helpful. Much better than the first consultant I met who said she wished women wouldn't leave it so late and then wonder why they couldn't get pregnant (I was 39 at the time).

[Daisy14]

I completely understand, we just got one to freeze last time and I was gutted. No one else got it at all and kept saying 'at least you have one'. It's true but not what you want to hear I know. The only thing that comforted me was finding out that getting one was not as common as I thought to make it that far as it means it is super strong.

Be kind to yourself, there is no 'should' in feelings so ride them out and don't fight it.

Good luck xx