Just found out my first IVF has failed. I've had 1 mc 2 ruptured ectopics and lost both tubes. I was so sure this was going to work i don't know how to feel at all. All anyone keeps saying is 'it wasn't meant to be' I feel so angry I don't want to hear that?! I just feel heartbroken. I don't feel like myself anymore.
Waiting to hear from hospital regarding follow up appointment. How in the mean time do I pick myself back up?
I am so sad for you. I have never done IVF and I can only imagine how devastated you are. Maybe just accept your feelings right now and sit with it until it eases and you are ready for making the next decision.
Take care of your self.
Sending you lots of love.
D x
Keep strong. Keep fighting. I'm wishing you all the luck in the world for the future. X
Hi, I'm very sorry to read your post. I know how you feel as I've had several failed ivf s. I grieved, took time off work and cried until I couldn't. You will pick yourself up but it will take time. There is a positive, your doctor will learn from this outcome and will be able to change your protocol and or meds to suit & assist your body should you wish to try again. Very few ivfs work the first time. Everyone's body is so different it can take a couple of times/ years for the doctors to get things right. I wish you all the best, X.
Thinking of you xxx
I can sympathise with you here! we had three failed ivf cycles (ICSI, IMSI and IVF with DS). All I can advise is your body will already be full of hormones so it will feel like the end of the world. It will take you a few days to get over the initial disbelief but you will pick back up - believe me! Keep strong and take each day as it comes. Its the hardest emotional rollercoaster I have ever had to go on but I bounced back - still no babies though!
I'm sorry- I know how hard it is. We had 4 failed cycles and a miscarriage. Currently cautiously and nervously 6 weeks pregnant from cycle number 5.
I agree with what another lady said- right now you are full of hormones and as those come out you are going to feel very low. It's not you, it's the hormones. But I promise that that cloud will lift so just be nice to yourself in the meantime.
When you are ready, speak to your clinic about what changes you can make next time round. Maybe you need some other drug combos, or a different dose.
I know it's so hard to stay positive but you will find that again.
Good luck
I'm so sorry for your losses and failed treatment, although I really don't like the term failed, just doesn't seem quite right to me.
We have sadly lost babies too, 6 now, at different stages of pregnancy, our most recent Ivf icsi ending last week after the 2ww, so forgive my emotional state. All I can say is I'm sorry, I understand your pain and you have every right to grieve, feel angry, sad, whatever emotion you have is I promise you very very normal. It's f×@king s€/t. There, I said it. It's ok to say it.
After our daughter died last year I didn't know how I'd survive, it's hard, but counselling is helping. If nothing more it's taught me I'm allowed to have my opinions and feelings, and it's ok to admit when someone is not helpful in your grief. Saying it wasn't meant to be is sodding ridiculous and I'm really sorry you've had to hear those silly insensitive sentences said by people to comfort us, but actually it only comforts them because they assume it will make it all better when most of the time they have no idea how we feel anyway. The ladies are right, your hormones will be kicking you about a bit too right now, so be gentle on yourself, and when you speak to the clinic, maybe worth while asking if you can have a little chat with their counsellor? I honestly wish we'd been offered it earlier, neither of us fully appreciated how much we'd not really dealt with regarding our earlier losses and infertility. Something to consider anyway should you think it might be beneficial to you and/or other half.
Right now I'd say just look after yourself. Be that a night out, a day in bed, whatever the hell you need right now.
Again, I'm so very sorry. Lots of hugs and support to you
Xxxxxx
It's never an easy road with this treatment and an even harder one to bare with a BFN. It always take time, be good to each other and remember that before this you got on with life and after this you will still get on with life.
Do all you have to to grieve and then slowly the pain gets less and you strive to another solution.
Don't let it beat you xx
Hello
I'm really sorry to hear of your losses. You've clearly had an awful time of it. People often say the stupidest of things. They don't meanto, they sometimes just don't know what to say. But, telling you 'it wasn't meant to be' is upsetting/frustrating because it just seems to trivialise what you're going through. It's the kind of comment you make when you can't get those shoes you've been eyeing up in your size rather than an appropriate response to someone who has been through all the trauma you have!
I don't know if you've been for counselling but I can thoroughly recommend that for helping you get through this time. It really helped me when I was struggling to cope.
Apart from that just be kind to yourself. You have been through a lot and it's normal to feel the way you do. You might find Pilates, tai chi or yoga helps you to relax (again it really helped me). I also tried acupuncture and treated myself to massages etc. Some 'me' time is definitely important.
Take care x
Sorry for your failed cycle.. i had a failed cycle in december (my 1st ivf) i tried my hardest to carry on as normal but it soon caught up with me ! The most important advice i can give you is to take time to grieve. If you need to cry then let it out. I felt quite low for a while but when i had the date for my follow up appt it made me concentrate on what i needed to ask to find out what happened ect ...and now im focusing on our next cycle in march. Remember that the 1st round is more or less a learning curve to see how ur body responds to the drugs.. use that to be positive about ur next cycle ... be kind to yourself , you have been through alot xx
I'm really sorry to hear this. It must be so hard after all that you've been through. People's 'helpful' comments can be so hurtful, it's hard not to let them get to you. They know nothing of what you're going through. Be kind to yourself and take the time you need for you. Hopefully you will soon be able to look forward again. Xx
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