Just thought I'd write this incase anyone has any advice or experience to share.
For those who don't know my story, 34yrs, 4yrs of unexplained infertility, 1st round ivf icsi 11 eggs but only one fertilised. Positive on test day - overjoyed!
Then 3.5 wks of period style bleeding, monitored with scans. 6 and 7wk scan showed fetus was small for age and heart rate was under 80bpm. Spent 2 weeks beings terrified every day what was going on.
2days ago had our 8wk5day scan, no heartbeat was found. Had a 2nd scan elsewhere which confirmed - heartbroken.
Was sent home with no info and told to wait another wk b4 I can speak to a nurse about miscarriage options. Did a bit of googling, undecided what to do. Am terrified of the process, how painful it might be, the risks, the shock and blood loss. Scared to leave the house incase it happens spontaneously. But also scared of operation incase it damages my womb.
Does anyone have any advice please Xx
UPDATE
Just wanted to say a big thank you to everyone who messaged, I would also usually reply to you each individually, but at the moment I'm finding it too upsetting to think about things in any detail. When I feel a bit stronger I will re-read all your messages and try to come to a decision.
Thanks again for your concern and help Xxx
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tindog
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Hello. So sorry to Hear this. I would go to early pregnancy unit at the hospital. To find out and get a answer. They may have to start from stratch and ignore the scans you have all ready had. But they will check your not at risk of eptopic pregnancy. Probably for a blood test or a few to check hcg levels. But you Defo need some Answers. Lots and lots and lots of love. Xxx
In so sorry to hear this. I have just gone through this. Baby stopped growing at 7 weeks. Hospital made me wait two weeks to confirm miscarriage.
Monday I had my surgical removal of miscarriage. I would of been nearly 11 weeks! The wait has been hell and the scans week after week are sad!
Anyway research suggests having surgical removal is best for further IVF cycles so that is what I did. My partner is a doctor too and he thought it was best too!
It was fine little pains some heavy blood loss but tailed off.
I also now have an infection but being treated. So glad I went for surgery as it can take weeks for it to come away with medication!
Hi tindog, firstly may I offer my condolences on your loss. What you are now experiencing is known as a missed or silent miscarriage (usually abbreviated to mc).
You have 2 options in my opinion, surgery or natural mc. Both I and my boss ( lost her lo at 7w2d) opted for natural mc. Sometimes it can take a few week, especially if you've never been pg before. You will know when it's beginning as you have cramps like AF. I won't lie to you, yes it is painful because essentially you're in labour. I tried to cope by focussing on my body trying to heal itself.
I feel from your post that the op might be more suitable for you. It's pretty quick, but there will still be pain and bleeding for a while and you can't use tampons. My boss hasn't even used them for her first AF (found it very upsetting seeing the packs of pads in the bathroom 😢). You can be prescribed co-codamol for the pain. I would think they are leaving it for a week to see if anything happens naturally. My boss's clinic had a 2wk time limit after which they would have operated. You will need to arrange at least a week off and help if you want it, especially around the house. Please also consider counselling, I've found it very helpful. Take care xx
I've had 2 miscarriages from natural conceptions, one natural and one missed miscarriage at 8 weeks discovered at 12 week scan. 3 BFNs from 3 rounds of ICSI.
I went for medical management but it took weeks and 3 separate nights in hospital waiting and being monitored. It was horrible so my advise would be to go for the surgical procedure.
The hospital gave us information on the treatment options as well as waiting longer for natural miscarriage. I also spoke to The Miscarriage Association helpline, you can google them.
You've got to do what feels right for you. I wish you all the best.
I'm so sorry this is happening to you. I also had a miscarriage after first round of ICSI but mine was sudden and over before I knew it was happening. Regardless it is devastating and I have so much sympathy for you.
I would say look after yourself and be gentle. Persist for the help you need from EPU and GP. The Miscarriage Association are fantastic so check out their website as they have lots of kinds of support available.
We got a positive result on our first round of ICSI. Like you, measuring small and had to be monitored with regular scans.
At 9+5 we were told there was no longer a heartbeat and they recommended a natural miscarriage, even though it would be difficult. They scheduled another scan for a couple of weeks later, but said if we needed anything or changed our mind to get in touch.
In my head, I didn't want to risk the procedures angle, just incase there was any chance of a miracle. In my heart, I already knew that wasn't going to happen, but I needed to let my body do what it had to.
The spotting started the next day (9+6) and like you, not knowing when things would kick in properly filled me with dread..I didn't want it to start/happen at work.
I decided to speak with my acupuncturist. I saw her the next day (10) and the points she did accelerated the process. The spotting and pain increased over the next few days into bleeding and contractions.
The main part of the miscarriage happened overnight into the morning of 10+1 to 10+2.
It was emotionally tough and painful, I'm not going to lie to you, but having to go through a miscarriage in any way is not going to be a nice experience.
The bleeding/spotting went on for about a week when it was time for the next scan (11+5). We were told that it was nearly complete, there was just something small remaining which could have been fluid, they weren't really sure, so sent me off again to return in a week.
I had minimal spotting over the next 2 days which then stopped.
The scan (12+5) confirmed that the miscarriage was complete.
It's difficult to advise you what's best to do for you. Maybe for me, being at home was a little bit more of a comfort.
Because of how my days off at work fell, the days that I took off sick were the main days of the miscarriage. You do feel exhausted and emotional afterwards, but I did muster up the energy to go back to work. Not many people knew what had happened and so it was like walking into a second life...
You'll need pads, painkillers, a hot water bottle and someone to be nearby incase you need help or support.
I've since experienced another miscarriage, so if you ever need to chat, I'm here x
Hi! Poor thing, tindog! I'm awfully sorry you have to go through this. But I'm confused they just sent you home and told nothing.. You must be explained the reasons and causes, whatever.. This doesn't sound proffessional at least...
In our endo case this was the 3rd attempt we achieved pregnancy. 2 previous ones were absolutely explained and some conclusions made..
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Xx
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