Hello. I am new to this- just joined. I am looking for advice and also share experiences with others

I am 45 years old. I have been through two failed IUIs and two failed IVFs. One of the failed IVFs (2nd one) was with an egg donor (aborad) and it was a day 3 frozen embryo transfer (my first failed IVF was with my own egg and was a day 3 transfer). I am led to believe that both were good quality embryos. We are not sure why it failed on both occassions suffice to day that on the first IVF with my own egg, it could have been the egg quality given my age. However when the egg donor transfer failed, I took it really bad. Even though I had high hopes with my own egg because the embryo was good quality, I was really taken back when the egg donor transfer did not implant. Everything else seemed to tick the box. My follice size was around 20mm, my endrometrium lining a few days just before transfer was 11mm. Both failed IVFs were on a natural cycle - even though I had a surge on the egg donor cycle, the only medication I was given was the trigger shot to ensure ovulation would happen (even though it would have happened) anyway and also prostegrone and aspirin -post transfer. However I started to bleed 9 days post transfer (which would have been the day of my period on a normal natural cycle). I then soon got my period. I was devasted. I really thought this time it would work. Anyway, I have 3 frozen embryo's and we will try again. I am again tyring natural cycle but the clinic I am with, have been trying to push me to have HRT medication and all the rest, which basically will put me on a temporay menopause . They have infomed me it will increase my chances even though they think it was the egg / sperm quality that could have been the reason why it did not implant. For me this poses, several questions - how do i know the other embryos, will not have the same problem ? does anyone else suggest temporary menopause and how would it increase my chances of implanatation??

I really am clinging on to anything to be frank right now but I have to think of the money - each scan I have is £150 and I really want to make sure I am on the right path

Look forward to any help and sharing any other similar experiences?

9 Replies

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  • Horrid isn't it?!

    So many questions unanswered.

    I understand from our biologist that it ask depends on implantation. A poor embrio can implant and create a wonderful baby just as a great embryo can fail and not produce.

    Age is a factor both for make and female, in 38 and my hubby us 37 but every body is different.

    You need to have faith in your clinic and in yourself. You can always ask for a second it third opinion. It's your body and your chance, don't be afraid if being the proverbial pain in the..... You are the most important factor.

    All of us here are in the sane it similar boats feeling that we are up that creek lacking the paddle.

    What a Shame the medical profession don't explain all this ?!?!

    I wish you loads of luck hon. I'm here if you want to talk xx

  • Thank you for your reply - much appreciated

    You are right - the medical professions dont divulge too much information - you really have to know the right questions to ask and even then they only go so far .

    I have been on an emotional rollarcoaster - mu husband appears to be handling it better than I - I keep looking for answers as I truly believe they have to be there.

    Thank you for option of talking - that is good to know.

  • Hi there, I'm no expert on fertility but I'm assuming this temporary menopause is the same thing as down regulating. This could be an idea as shutting down your system would perhaps prevent any natural interference with implantation. I would ask for progesterone pessaries (cyclogest seem to be good) prior to transfer rather than after. Progesterone seems to give some protection to the implanting embryo (so I've read) and it may also increase your lining depth, which can only be a good thing.

    Good luck and hopefully someone more experienced on here can help you.

  • Hi Mandy_K I can certainly understand your pain as I've been through something similar, it's so frustrating and utterly horrible. Just a suggestion - you can email Prof Winston at the Genesis Research Trust website, I belive he personally answers any questions. It is free but they ask for a donation, so up to you. At least by asking him about your situation, you are going to get an unbiased answer. Apologies for suggesting this if he isnt your cup of tea - you either love him or not!! My other suggestion is researching immune issues - another love it/hate it topic where fertility is concerned! But it's your journey and is in your control.

    Very best of luck x

  • I had a look at the Genesis Research trust - v good website, the Q&A section is v relevant. Thanks for sharing that tip!

  • Thank you for your advice - yes it would be down regulation

    I think this time we are hoping to take the pessaries before transfer so yes good point.

    Once again thank you for your help

  • Thank you so much - yes just looked at the website - v good - thank you

  • Thank you for this. I have thought about contacting Professor Winston a number of times but not gone ahead with it, as I was not sure how accessible he was. Now I know he could be, I most certainly will aim to make contact with him. It is so frustrating. I think if we do not have success with this current clinic (both UK and abroad), we will still have another go with an egg donor but change clinics altogether. A key requirement for us with whomever we choose, will be a high level of customer service. So far my experience of the fertility industry is that is is so commercially driven and I am not sure just how much of it, is about the patient. This is such a shame. However having read up on Professor Winston's work, I feel confident that he is the exception rather than the rule so to speak.

  • You're more than welcome. I hope you get an answer from him - I would be interested to hear that you did as his website gives the impression he answers all questions! He's a legend anyway!

    It is very frustrating, I'm with you and sadly the industry is very commercial but there are clinics/drs who genuinely care and as it is soooo emotive, (more than any other condition) it is so hard to go through.

    Good luck and I hope everything works out for you :-) xx

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