Work issues

Does any body else feel like their work doesn't understand what women go through with firtility I got news this week that I will be starting treatment next year obviously we r on a high abt this but going into work today I feel like I got no support at all I asked for reassurance that when the time comes I will be able to take some time of I would like to use my holidays for this so I still have a income coming in but I feel like they were so unhelpful the reply was well I don't know we need to see nearer the time I honest think work places need to attend some sort of information class on dealing with women and men who r going through this!!

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  • I think in general that unless you go through this, you can't understand what is involved. I certainly had no idea what was involved in the procedure, I thought it would be way easier than it actually was.

    Your work should be more understanding about your situation though, you are going to need quite a bit of time off for scans, etc. My manager was very supportive when I told him and said to take as much time as I needed. My husband's manager was the same, and my husband came with me to every appointment. That is also important, because you are sharing this journey together and you will need the support.

    It is a medical procedure, so can you take paid sick days for it at all? The scans shouldn't take too much time and you can pop out for a short time for those. But you will need to take time off for the ec as you will be sedated and you will need someone to drive you on that day too. Maybe when you get a rough outline of dates when you start, you can then go to your employer with more concrete dates. But they will need to be flexible as the dates can change throughout the process depending on how you are responding.

    Best of luck with it, I hope you do get the support you need. Is there anyone at work you are close to that you could talk to about it?

  • I'm sorry you had this response - they should be more supportive. You are entitled to the necessary time you need, whether they like it or not. Stuff them xx

  • I'm hoping that they will be fine when the time comes I told them yesterday to put them in the picture about what will be happening if needs be I will just put a sick line in and take whatever time I need I was really hoping not to do that but this is way more important

    Than work I really think they need to read over some information about it I've contacted infertility network uk to see if they could maybe send me some info that I can pass to my boss when the time comes I've had treatment before and know what I will be going through so I will explain what I can to them when I get the chance to sit with then and go through it I just expected a little more empathy and support xx

  • My work was good initially, but since my transfer to London (I live in Devon). I now have to work an additional hour every day to make up time to go to my appointments. My husband is self employed (so he can work things around to attend appointments). I don't feel it is necessarily fair. But I have got used to it now. It will be worth it in the end. I'm very selective who I tell at work, some people are understanding, and others are not. Like what other people have said. I don't think people can relate to you unless they have been through it themselves. Good luck with everything.x

  • I know it's hard to understand when it's not something that you have gone through but I honestly think work places should have to attend an info day so they understand a bit more. I am just worried because the last time I had ivf I was quite sick through doing the injections if it's the same this time I will need time off but I've discussed it with my partner and family over the weekend and my partner has just said to not worry about it and if I have to then just put in a sick line I'm not even going to get worked up about it anymore this is way to important than worrying about work xxx

  • Just for info - we do have a couple of fact sheets on employment issues. You can find all our fact sheets here -

  • I think it is not only work, but might also close friends who get pregnant easily. If you learnt how to drive a car easily, you cannot understand why a person keeps on failing the driving test. Just ignore persons who are not supportive. You should concentrate on your treatment.

  • I've been lucky that my friends haven't been to bad ans they know that at times I just need to be left alone or not be involved in children things I also have a very close friend who is going through the same as me it's great to have her to understand sometimes we just cry down the phone together I'd be lost without her x

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