Devastated

Yesterday we were meant to go for our 3rd FET (already had 1 fresh and 1fet). On the way to the clinic they rang and told us the heartbreaking news that the embryo didn't survive the thaw. We don't have anymore on reserve so had to turn around and come home.

Thoughout the process we feel let down by the clinic who tend to put us down as 'young and healthy' therefore anything that goes wrong with treatment is down to 'bad luck'.

We've decided the next cycle will be our last, We're lucky enough to have funding for 1 more cycle, would it best to consider another clinic now were at 'beginning' again?

6 Replies

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  • Aww hun that's heartbreaking I am so sorry massive hugs I would say if u really aren't happy with the place ur with just now defo have a look for somewhere as u said uz have funding for one more round so do it somewhere u will feel happy really do wish u so much luck 💕 xxxxx

  • Thank u sweetheart. I think it's best thing to do. Things happen for a reason and maybe it's best for us to start thinking ahead.

    Hope everything is ok with u xx

  • Yeah that's all we can do isn't it hun aww am still down in the dumps but it's not even been a week yet that I found out so I think it's allowed lol hope ur looking after urself hun xxxx

  • Hi Niag. Sad to read this, and just wanted to wish you well with whatever you decide to do. I do have a list of questions you might like to read through before you do go back for a further consultation, if you would like me to send it to you. Unfortunately, it is too long to add here, but if you email me in confidence to dianearnold@infertilitynetworkuk.com I will forward it to you. Diane

  • So sorry to hear that, it must be devastating to get told at the last minute too. Take some time to re-group before you rush into anything.

    I had NHS funding for only one cycle and it was unsuccessful, but we got 3 frozen from it. They would have done the FET as part of the same funded cycle but I had lost faith in them by then, so I decided to transfer to a private clinic for my FET. I picked one with the best stats for my age group. If you haven't already looked you can check your current clinic's stats on the HFEA website.

    With the clinic we chose it has been a better level of care and attention I feel, and I am in my 2ww for the result next week. FET costs are far less than a full fresh cycle, something like 4K for fresh as compared with 1K for frozen. If we had to do it again we might have struggled to fund it all privately so it has worked out better for us having the NHS treatment first.

    As you are still funded on NHS for another cycle imo it is worth perservering with. You could always go through another fresh cycle and hopefully get a good outcome, or at the least get some frozen embryos to go forward with (privately). There may be an option to transfer to another NHS clinic in your area, perhaps make enquiries about that first before going private.

    Hope this helps a little, all the best with whatever you decide.

    xxx

  • I'm so sorry to hear this. Take some time to recover.

    We changed clinics (both private as we're self funding) as the first clinic couldn't offer donor eggs for our 3rd go. I'd have preferred to have stayed at the first clinic as the service felt much more personal and was closer to home.

    You could ring clinics and have a chat with them, check out their success rates and perhaps visit to see if you feel welcome and comfortable there. Make sure you get copies of all your notes, test results etc to take to a new clinic if you decide to move.

    Unfortunately "don't know" seems to be the answer to many questions about treatment/infertility.

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