Heartbroken 😒

Can't believe am writing this as really thought it worked this time but this afternoon got a bfn 😒 😒 really don't no wots going wrong am 29 healthy don't smoke or drink but this isy 3Rd fail really can't handle this heartache am going yo be 30 in few month and ino to some that's not old but I always thought would have my wee miracle by now it's going to be 8 years I've been trying don't no wot I've done for this to happen to me am feeling sorry for myself just feel lost now am just so lucky I've got another few chances and trying again soon but this journey really is taking far to much out me my partner just keeps saying it will happen feel that's all he says πŸ’”

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  • Sorry to hear that hun, I got my 5th bfn this afternoon. I know how you feel it's horrible. I turned 30 recently so this bfn has hit me a little harder as I always hoped my family would be complete by now too. I really felt positive this time. Hope your ok, hugs xxx

  • Awww huni am sorry to hear ur sad news too 5th time I feel heartbroken for u y is this happening to us I really don't get it at all I thought I was as was getting the period cramp when I told nurse today she said that's a good sign aww am the same hun thought would have our wee family by now no am going to do wot my family and friends hate but I just shut them out only way I can stop people feeling all sorry for me how is ur partner xxxxx

  • I really don't understand at all, everything has always gone really well. Nice thick uterus and perfect embryos but nothing. I had cramps for a week and had brown spotting for 3days around implantation time so really hoped this was finally our time. We have done the same with friends and family, we came straight home and closed the door just having us time. My partner is upset too but says we need to keep going and next time might be our time..Just harder each time tho. Thinking of you, hope you and your partner are ok. Xxx

  • Sorry to read your news :-(

  • Thank you hollibob xxxxx

  • Flossy sorry to hear your news too. Life can be so unkind. Like I said to lynsey look at immune testing hun x

  • Sorry to hear this Flossy - take care x

  • Awww babes! I really don't know what to say. I'd strongly recommend you get your immunes checked for nk cells. Please don't let it get you down and look forward to trying again x big hugs

  • Awww I just feel so lost tonight just feel letting my partner down each time I don't really ever catch anything can't remember the last time o had the flu ur so sweet samrakkar xxxzxx

  • That's a big clue you may have killer cells x

  • See am so sorry but agree with Sam above.

    Big hugs xxx

  • Thank you tamtam1 just devastated, xxxx

  • I'm so sorry...

    Nothing can be said that will help your pain right now.

    Life is truly cruel!!

    Look after you x

  • Thanks hollibob my partner need to go to work so he wants me to go up to my mums when he's working just the now feeling so sorry for myself and feel like a let down xxxxx

  • Hello lynsey just wanted to say I'm really sorry to hear u got a bfn it must be heartbreaking and taking its toll emotionally. All I can say is take some comfort in that u still have a few more chances and hopefully next time round it will be a bfp. And ur still young u have time on ur side i know life can be so unfair! :'( x

  • Aww thank you E81hopeful I just feel I can't keep putting myself and partner thrgh this as it's far to draining and making me think will this ever happen xxxxx

  • So sorry 😟 thinking of you, take care of yourself x x

  • Thank you gillybean78 zxxxx

  • Oh Hun I am so so so sorry... It makes no sense does it!!!! Don't give up though... Miracles happen all the time. Just be kind to yourself eat, drink do stuff u enjoy, give yourself time to heal because u will pick yourself up for another try its just right now it's raw and heartbreaking for u both! Have you looked into natural killer cells? Are there anymore tests they can do? Do u get good quality embryos ? It's so unfair for u and it seems so wrong that some women have such heartache and some get pregnant at the drop of a hat! Would u ever consider adoption? Not to give up but just to start your family another way ? Big hugs I know how painful it is xxxx

  • Bumpwanted when been speaking to u lately I really thought I was coz the cramps just feel heartbroken tonight wots killer cells hun? Yeah my embryos were really good that's y I don't get it I really don't no if I would get to adopt as I've been on anit depression tablets so mite think am not suitable but tbh I want to feel my baby inside me them kicking me and give birth I want to go thrgh it all just so unfair xxxxxx

  • Natural killer cells is a part of your immune system that can attack the embryo... Ask about it and extra tests when u have your review appointment?

    Cramps are a good sign... I had them with our chemical on our last embryo transfer, that's why early testing can be good to see if u have had a chemical, by my test date my test was negative but got positive 2 days before! But consultant said was really good as showed it implanted... We then got our BFP the cycle after that :) have u any more embryos left? Xxx take it easy Hun try to keep busy/occupied I know it's so hard :( so sorry xx talk to your family and friends xx

  • Yeah my partner just explained that all to me bumpwanted he's going to phone up tomorrow and ask if any reason they can think y not happening and going to ask to ger more tests u feeling OK tonight hun I woild have have 4 has had 7 but one never made the day of my transfer so just hope that doesn't happen again as the nurse said it could I like to shut myself away and deal with it hun but my family and friends are lovely my partner and aye just need some time to deal with it xxxxx

  • So sorry hun I was wondering how you got on today and hoping you had good news. Big hugs xxx

  • Thank you rainbowbreeze80 xxxxx

  • So sorry to hear your news. After everything you did for your friend you truly deserved a BFP. Look after yourself and give yourself time to heal. Big hugs. Xx

  • Thank you so much discobec really are heartbroken don't no how I can cope being round all the kids now mainly the new born xxxxxx

  • So sorry lovely, wish I could help. You havent let anyone down and you did everything you could. Give yourself peace and kindness aplenty. Rooting for you xx

  • Thank you daisy14 just feel I really have my partners mum and dad haven't got any grandkids yet and hes got 3 brothers 2 older and one younger and his mum was really hoping this worked just feel I keep letting people down mainly my partner xxxxx

  • Imagine what you would reply to any of us who wrote that? You would be kind and lovely. Make sure you are so towards yourself xxx

  • Yeah true daisy14 just feeling so low and hate my partner is having to go thrgh all this because of me hope ur feeling OK xxxxx

  • Never know what to say in these situations other than really sorry Hun, it's a horrible journey for all of us, look after yourself as much as u can, xxxx

  • Thank you abbie103 u have been so lovely to me just think need to take some time out hope ur OK tonight xxxx

  • Life is so cruel and it's always to lovely people like yourself. Thinking of you xxx

  • Thank you button-123 πŸ’• xxxxx

  • I'm so sorry to hear that Lynsey, bigs hugs xx

  • Thank you mel87 xxxxxx

  • I'm really sorry, I really hoped you get a BFP this time.

    We've had 2 BFN from 2cycles of ICSI and our 3rd round had to be abandoned and the embryos frozen. It seems that as much as the medical professionals know about infertility there's so much they don't know and we're left without an explanation despite everything going to plan.

    Take time to recover.

  • Aww I did to pm27 just feel so lost and don't no wot to do now as just feel I can't keep putting myself thrgh so much heartache aww that's horrible them not giving u and ur partner a reason to why this had happened do u no when u can get ur transfer hun xxxxx

  • Give yourself time and make sure that you are looking after yourself and your partner.

    The heartache is really tough, I remember being so full of hope this time last year and hoped, despite the statistics, that I'd be one of the lucky ones.

    The explanations we've received have been along the lines of "Don't know", "Bad luck", "It happens sometimes", but I was really making a general comment on the lack of medical explanation as to why IVF fails, especially when the embryos are good quality like yours.

    We can try for FET next month if my period arrives when we need it to, if not start down regulating in December for January FET.

  • My partner has took today off work I feel awful tho as am just an emotional mess phoned the hospital earlier just for some answers they phone me back there I've got appointment in a few weeks to go in an speak to the doctors awww hun I really hope they came so u can start ASAP u so deserve it pm27 xxxxxx

  • So sorry to hear of your bad news, it totally sucks how cruel it is. Thinking of you xxxx

  • Really does sucks maria-louisa site tried to make sure I done everything right wot people on here were telling me try and still a fail crying 😒 aw thank you hun xxxx

  • I'm so sorry honey. Xxxxxxx sending you big hugs xx

  • Thank you so much jojostayinghopeful xxxxxx

  • Bless you!! Life is cruel and we have soo many questions, y us????

    Chin up,, do something nice with your partner.... All the best....x

  • Awww thank you lidzz life is cruel as u will no its heartbreaking y it just not happening for us πŸ˜” he's took today off so thinking of going getting some dvds and chilling as am to emotional to go out the now hope ur well xxxxxx

  • I'm so sorry to hear this lynsey. I really did have my fingers crossed for you. Life is incredibly cruel at times and it's unfair that anyone has to go through this awful journey.

    My husband always said to me 'it will happen'. I think it's because they don't know what else to say and because they love us it's hard for them to see is hurting so badly.

    Take care of yourself. Big hugs x

  • Thank you so much hopeful1982 ino u did u have been lovely really is cruel I just don't understand am young an healthy I've tried to do thing people are saying etc and still nothing I've had hospital off the phone there I've to go in a few weeks to speak to doctors I've never had a follow-up appointment coz I just want off the phone when they tell me it's a fail yeah he definitely doesn't no wot else to say he doesn't get upset or that but tells me he hates seeing me like this as am just so emotional hope ur well hun xxxxx

  • Sorry to hear your news, this journey could be so horrible. Take care.

  • Hi Lynsey I'm so sorry to hear that . I was looking for last few days for good news from u . U say that u healthy but have u done all tests what they can have impact on successful cycle ? U see I wrote before that I had one cycle in March BFN that a almost 7 months since. We don't know yet what we gonna do but one thing I know I'm not gonna give up till I know everything from my side is ok if we decide to go thru second cycle. I just had my dye test done yesterday and I cry when I find out that my only one tube I got is not block is good πŸ˜ƒ That one step forward Hun , next I want to go for ultrasound to see again how is things there . Then I'm gonna ask again for blood test and I'm gonna find out about NK cells test . One thing I know that no many clinics is doing them but this kind gonna give u peace in mind that u complete fine. Maybe I'm not gonna need that but I want to make sure that my body will "help me with implantation "..then reject the embryo I really want my next cycle to work . I'm so sorry Hun I really was looking forward for good news. Don't worry about your age I'm 35 in month time my hubby 39 πŸ˜” Give your delft brake and time to go thru that . Xxx

  • Thank you olivia1980xxx just shows even tho nearly 8 years now I don't really have a clue as I didn't no about any these tests didn't no there could be more wrong with me than I thought it's with the NHS and when I phoned them the other day to make a follow-up appointment I asked about the cell test thing they said they don't do that as it's to dear so I really want to get it done am so confused with e everything now awww hun that's such good news u must be so glad ☺ does the place ur getting ur treatment do all the tests u need like the cell one I really never new ur body could reject the embryo I just feel so thick with it all I just can't seem to take things in when at hospital as I just blank out so do u no wots next and when it's happening hun xxxxx

  • Hi Lynsey u see I didn't know much either 3 years ago when we start . I learn something new every day Hun . I didn't ask the clinic what i had my cycle if they do that test but I will and I'm gonna find out where they do them . U see Hun after all what u and all of us here going thru one "more thing"...is not gonna do any Harm to us . I know IVF is roller coaster but if doctor telling us becouse ours fertility problems the best option is going to be IVF then why is still not working ? There must be some answers Hun ...and there must be something that we can do from our side.. I don't want anything more in my life then become a mum ...we all do Hun . I'm gonna massage u when I'm find out more . Hugs Hun xxx

  • Ur so sweet olivia1980xxx yeah if saying it's only cos I've got blocked tubes then y am I not getting pregnant it's so frustrating isn't it hun and yeah we need to find out y we aren't getting a bfp my partner is just worried if we go somewhere else for the tests then the hospital wot let us carrying on treatment with them it's just so draining as u no hun xxxxx

  • Thank u Lynsey . We have very similar situation Hun. I got just one tube left saying that I got plenty eggs , ovulating every month ,hormones level good ....all that but still nothing πŸ˜” U say that u not getting pregnant becouse your tubes r block ? Did u have laparoscopy and hysteroscopy ? My tubes was block . In December they need to remove my right tube ...they couldn't safe her becouse was effecting the left side. They open and repair my left tube . In some cases u can still get pregnant with one tube but is gonna take longer ...or some cases is risk of ectopic pregnancy . How about u Hun ? What they done before u went thru IVF ? Xxx

  • Sounds of things we have hun yeah so strange if getting good results back and still nothing right am rubbish with words with all ivf coz my mind goes blank when I was with my ex I went for a die test then I had to ger keyhole surgery try to fix my tubes but came back that they couldn't I got told few month back that I mite need to get my tubes removed as saw some fluid in my womb back then they said the last scan b4 my transfer that the fuild was fine as never showed up on the scan I only ever got referred to get on ivf waiting list as they said ivf was best for me xxxxx

  • Hey Lynsey . U saying that they didn't remove your tubes?...knowing that there is fluid they didn't remove them or they didn't even try to repair and open them ? That so weird what they done . My doc told me before they gonna start IVF they make sure that my tube is ok (in sense of if is block that mean is fluid and that gonna effect pregnancy ) . Hun I though I gonna loose my both tube ...πŸ˜” They where block with fluid ...but they safe one of them . Hun what I'm saying that u went thru 3 cycle with tubes block ... U didn't even have laparoscopy for them to see what they gonna do next ...maybe there is chance to open and repair them both or at least one of them Hun...but not to keep sending u thru IVF with block tubes πŸ˜”πŸ˜”

  • They said last few scans they said no fluid was showing up so they said could carry on with ec they did try an repair them in 2010 with I had my op it was keyhole surgery coz they done the dye test b4 my op as when it was the dye test they couldn't get the wee tube up coz my tubes were blocked don't even no if am making sense here as never take in the ivf words for it all xxxxx

  • Lynsey so sorry to hear your sad news. Really hope each day gets a bit easier for you and you are taking long hot baths, while drinking large glasses of wine.

    Do you have a follow up appointment? If so, have you thought about writing down all the questions you want to ask? It's just that whenever I have these appointments, I forget everything I want to say.

    So sorry again x

  • Thank you flower1979 yeah I've never asked for a follow-up appointment with the last 2 but I just don't no wots going wrong so need to speak to a doctor and yeah I told my partner that yesterday need to write it all down as we will probably forget something been I a few baths don't drink tho but been making sure am eating and going to start back the gym hope all is well with u and thank you xxxxx

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