When will things get better?


My husband and I are on a waiting list to receive ICSI via the NHS. The wait we were initially told to expect was 2 months but it has now more than doubled to 4 and a half month. I found out this disappointing news on the same day that I learned that I had lost my job. That was a bad day. And in fact I continue to feel pretty bad, close to tears, and very low. I don't have the energy to find another job. How can I convince someone to hire when I don't want a job, all I want is a baby. Nothing else matters.

7 Replies

  • Oh Erland, I know the waiting list frustration as we had a similar situation! It must be difficult coping with this disappontment as well as having lost your job. I know it can be difficult to motivate yourself. This is something I struggle with too. I find writing myself a 'to do' list helps me to focus and (although it can be difficult to get started) keeping busy definitely helps keep my mind off babies! It doesn't need to be all about job hunting, fitting in things like exercise will help you feel better too.

    This also might be a good time to go for counselling (if you've not already done so). I did this about 6-9 months ago and it's really helped me to cope.

    I know it feels like an eternity now but you're appointment will be here before you know it!

    Take care x x x

  • Thanks for writing. I've been coping quite well until now. I've seen a counsellor and I am due to see her again in a few weeks which I'm sure will help. You are definitely right about exercise - I've been doing yoga and I find this helps me clear my head.


  • It sounds like you're doing all the right things. We all have bad spells through this so a few bad days are normal x

  • Oh the sadness in your heart made me cry. Don't give up. I'm saying a prayer for you right now for renewed hope.

  • So sweet of you. X

  • Hi Erland,

    You are not alone! I was made redundant last month, received the notice in May, a week before our first appointment with the Fertility Clinic. I know it's disappointing when things move but think of it this way, the timing needs to be right. Starting your treatment at the same time as looking for a new job would be so stressful, it could affect the success of the treatment. There's a higher reason it has been pushed back. Stay strong, let yourself be sad and then focus on one thing at a time. You can't control when your treatment starts but you do have (some) control over getting a new job. I am a few weeks into a new post and have just called the clinic with day 1, injections start later this month. Good luck x 🍀🍀

  • Thanks, some level headed advice there. I've been trying to see the silver lining today. Thinking of going away or wondering about finding a private clinic in between now and December. Perhaps this is happening for a reason.

    Being in a redundancy situation is very stressful. I'm glad you've found a new job. Best of luck with everything. X

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