Sensitive * when will I feel excited !?

[Greencook]

Today was my OTD (13dp5dt) bloods come back at a good level & I am to go back Friday to make sure they have doubled. I have an early scan next week due to my history of ectopics. When is the earliest you see the baby? I think I will be 5 weeks 5days. I don’t feel pregnant at all. I am 4 weeks 4 days so know it’s really early but with so much bad news in the past I just can’t get excited, I’m sure I’m not alone. I am scared. I want this to be my happy ending more than anything 🥹

[ClaireB24]

Hi lovely. Your story is really similar to mine. The EPU scanned me at 5+4 and could see a gestational sac and fetal node. They then brought me back in for a scan this week when I was 7+4 and we got to see the heartbeat. I was an anxious mess until this week, and although reassured by the scan I can’t shake the fear completely. Ectopics are so traumatising!! I think it’s natural to worry. I really hope everything goes well for you, try and distract yourself as much as you can xx

[Greencook in reply to ClaireB24]

Oh wow that’s amazing I really hope I have the outcome you have too ❤️ They really do put the fear of god in you don’t they. Yes I’m trying to just put it to the back of my mind & hope for the best. We’re your bloods good levels too ? Today was 1458 which I think by looking online seems good anyway xxx

[ClaireB24 in reply to Greencook]

My first level at 4+4 was 1200, and went up to 2300 two days later. Your level looks fab! Which I think is a really good sign as I don’t think ectopics tend to be quite so high. Good luck, let us know how you get on xx

[Greencook in reply to ClaireB24]

Yes I feel like it’s in the right place weirdly. LI feel like with my previous ectopics I’ve had quite a bit of spotting (brown) where as I’ve had one bleed this time which I think was implantation. I know that I can still bleed from now & it’s normal so I need to not panic if that was to happen . Oh wow they went up so much ! I’m due my bloods Friday so I’m just hoping it’s high so I can breathe a little until my scan xx

[McQueeny]

That’s amazing news! I’m so so pleased for you 🤗🥳 so many congratulations. I can only imagine how worried you are, and I think that’s totally understandable… even without a history of ectopics I found it’s always about waiting for the next reassurance - when the 2WW is finally over you then wait for the viability scan, then when that’s done you wait for the 12 week scan…. All fingers crossed that it’s all progressing beautifully xx

[Greencook in reply to McQueeny]

Thank you so much ❤️ It really is one step at a time isn’t it but I’ll take it .. I just want this to happen, I’ll take all the symptoms haha, I’m trying to just stay calm & not stress myself out as there’s nothing I can do other than be patient. I’ll keep you updated ❤️ Good luck to you when you decide to go again. xxx

[McQueeny in reply to Greencook]

Thanks so much and do keep me posted xxx

[Fruitandflowers]

I didn't allow myself to get excited on my FET as I was convinced it would end the way of my two previous transfers. I sort of felt like I was going through the motions and always expecting bad news. I did have brief moments of relief including seeing the heartbeat at a very early scan, but I probably didn't even treat it as real until around the 12 week mark and we started telling people (and even then we only did because I was huge and it was obvious). I worried constantly and had a lot of extra scans and monitoring because of bleeding and it was maybe only when I felt movement regularly from around 24 weeks that I relaxed a little bit. I still wouldn't let anyone buy me anything baby related in case it jinxed it. I had really bad morning sickness from around 5/6 weeks (no symptoms at all before then) but a lady I know who has five children(!) helpfully told me she had never had a single typical symptom with any of hers and often 'forgot' she was pregnant, so I don't think you can compare. Best of luck with the scan ☘️

[Greencook in reply to Fruitandflowers]

Isn’t it awful how we can’t let ourselves be excited 🥹 so happy you got your happy ending ❤️ Yes I feel like 12 weeks is well off for me so I really hope it goes fast. I had some cramps early this morning & woke up with sore boobs but like you say everyone is different so just have to take each day as it comes at the moment & hope for the best. Can I ask how far you was when you heard the heartbeat ? I’m going to be 5+5 when I have my scan I think, although they might do it a bit earlier just to make sure it’s in the right place xxx

[Fruitandflowers in reply to Greencook]

So I was 5+2 but (seriously big but) that is mega early and many clinics won't scan until 7 weeks because there is normally nothing to see and it makes the worry even worse. I asked for such an early scan because I just wanted to know there was something there and it was in the right place (not ectopic etc) and I was fully prepared to be told they couldn't see anything and to come back. I also had an early implanter and high HCG so I think it was a little ahead - the sonographer was really surprised at the heartbeat at that stage and it was only right at the end of the scan literally as they were stopping that they just must have got the probe at the right angle or something. Just a warning as there seem to be a lot of people on here who've had bad experiences going early and everything worked out fine. So I think the advice is usually to wait, I just couldn't.

[Greencook in reply to Fruitandflowers]

Thank you for explaining yes I am preparing myself not to see much I just want to know it’s in the right place then hopefully go back week or so after to hear a heartbeat. It feels so surreal at the moment xx

[Fruitandflowers in reply to Greencook]

I really hope it goes well. I had lots more scans after that as seemed to be the only way I could calm my nerves - it would have been lovely to have just relaxed and assumed everything was ok but sadly wasn't able to. If it helps I am proof that you can't worry the little bean away!

[Greencook in reply to Fruitandflowers]

Ahh thank you I really hope so too. I’m the same I will legit end up bankrupt but I need that reassurance at least to get by xx

[Zeebee14]

I’m currently 9+3 and still can’t believe it. I’m not fully excited because my brain can’t register I’m actually pregnant. I saw a heartbeat at 7+3 and there no way I’m waiting until 12 weeks for the next scan so I’ve got a private scan booked in for next week. I’m not sure it will ever sink in, perhaps when I feel it moving? Also I did 10 pregnancy tests because after the first positive one I just couldn't believe what I was seeing, so for the next 10 days I carried on testing! Good luck! X

[Greencook in reply to Zeebee14]

Congratulations ❤️ Yea I did about 15 tests haha 3 in one day too. It’s so bad but we need to just take it in & be happy & grateful it’s worked. Hard to do though isn’t it. Yes I’ll definitely be having private scans I have bad anxiety so I think I’ll need the reassurance to get by, thank you so much 😊 good luck for your 12 week scan. We have told close family as with it being ivf they knew I was going through it & asked a lot of questions but when I’m 12 weeks I’ll tell friends & the rest of my family. Xxx

[Twiglet2]

Just sac and fetal pole I saw at that stage- heartbeat was seen a week later with yolk? but I didn’t properly see anything that resembled a baby until the 8 week scan if I’m honest (and even then I couldn’t really make it all out 😂🤷🏻‍♀️) 10 and 12 week scan is when I knew what I was looking at (I had lots of scans due to bleeding)

It took me until the 3rd trimester to get truly excited and let people buy things for the baby …. I think it’s just natural to be cautious and to protect our emotions after everything we’ve been through. Lots of great discussion on this on the pregnancy after IVF forum 🤗 if you are not already on there xxx

[Greencook in reply to Twiglet2]

Ahh really ? Yea I’m not expecting much from my first scan, I think I’ll be the same as you until 10/12 weeks & I see & know all is ok then I’ll believe it. Thank you I’ll have a look at that forum ❤️ Xxxx