Just found out our 4th and final IVF cycle has failed after 5 years of trying for a baby. Completely heartbroken and devastated!!!!
We had already decided to start the adoption process in the New Year if this cycle did not work but it all feels so final now. I won't ever know what it is like to feel our baby growing inside me and have that bond with my child and it hurts like hell. Knowing that a child that is half me and half of my partner will never exist, wow that is painful!!!
I do feel a failure as a woman as I can't do the one thing a woman is meant to do have a baby. Everyone says that being pregnant is not the be all and end all of starting a family, this coming from people that have got pregnant naturally or through IVF does not help me when that is all I want to be. I know we will have a family through adopting but having our last chance of having our own baby fail hurts a lot more than I thought it would. Guess it is a complete and utter end to a part of my life I will never have or be able to give my partner. It all feels very final. It certainly has been a very long, painful and exhausting journey mentally, physically and financially and I would not wish this on anyone.
We are still none the wiser as to why we are unable to have a baby, our questions remain unanswered and will continue to remain unanswered for the rest of time!!!! If I knew what the problem was it may help us both move on a little easier.
I Just want the pain to stop now. Sorry to off load how I am feeling, just needed to get it out!!!!!!
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Lullabelle77
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I'm afraid I have no words of wisdom seeing as I am at the very beginning of our journey but I just wanted to say sorry this really sucks and I can't imagine how you're feeling. I'm sure it doesn't help now but I am a massive believer in fate - there is obviously a child out there who dearly needs you and is just waiting to be chosen. So whilst this chapter is closed (and painful right now) another very exciting one is about to start. I'm sorry again but stay strong. Good luck and keep us posted. Hugs x
I am very sorry for you! I can only guess you pain because I am only going to start the first cycle soon. All I can say it is not to give up the dream to have a family. Adoption it is a solution.My sister in law started this procces and now she is waiting. She lives in Romania. I hope one day you will have the family you hope for.
I don't know what to say other than I'm so sorry. Your post brought me to tears. Puts the gripes I've had today into perspective. Lots of love to you xxx
Really sorry to hear that you've been through so much and haven't got your much wanted baby. IVF is really hard physically and emotionally and your devastation and pain is understandable.
I'm sorry to hear your bad news, and my thoughts are with you, it must be devastating. No words can really express how u must be feeling right now, but that's great that you are going down the adoption route, I'm sure you will be a great mother to a child that really needs you. Stay strong xx
Hello Lullabelle77, I'm so sorry to hear this. I expect it will be sore for a while. It's a loss and you will have the grief that comes with it but once you work through it and come out the other side hopefully you will have renewed hope as you embark on your adoption process.
I often feel like a failure too so I can understand you feeling like this. Yet, I know so many women who have been unable to have children and when I think of words to describe them - beautiful, loving, smart, witty, kind and generous all spring to mind and 'failure' doesn't feature at all!
You are not a failure...think about everything you have put yourself through to get towards your end goal...you are strong, determined and full of love to give.
Life is cruel and sometimes we are made to take the long route for our dreams. You are right in saying if only we had an idea of why, it might be more manageable to digest.
Take some time to relax and repair..you are allow to be angry at the world right now.
I'm sorry to hear this. It must feel dreadful. I hope you come out of the other side of it with renewed hope, and that the new chapter you start is amazing.
Feeling like a failure as a woman is something we can all relate to on this journey. However, with a supportive partner willing to adopt you have a lovely new journey to embark on when you have allowed time to grieve.
Must be frustrating to have the 'unexplained fertility' label. Did you have low AMH levels in your blood test? I had this, and found I had stenosis cervix and had to have an op. I hope you get some answers, or closure.
So sorry, feel your pain and allot of your thoughts are exactly how I feel, big hugs xx
Wow and here I was miserable
And throwing in the towel after 2 failed attempts and 10k later.
Nothing I say will make it easier or better, no amount of I understand how you feel makes you feel batter. Give yourself time to greibe your losses, heal yourself take time out for you
And hubby love each other and ease each other's pain.
One day at a time, one step at a time until you feel ready to take bigger steps. I wish you well and hope the pain eases for you xx
I just wanted to thank you all for your lovely messages and support. It has been a very dark time for me and my partner. Your kind words have helped me feel not so alone and I am grateful for that.
I know with time I will learn to cope with this void and obviously a new chapter will unfold with the adoption but the pain at the moment is difficult and I guess I have to go through the grieving process and allow myself to grieve for something we will never have, experience or feel.
But thank you again for all of your kind words they means a lot.
Good luck on all your journeys and I hope they are all positive for you and that you all get what you dream of and deserve x x x x
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this really sucks and I can't imagine how you're feeling. I'm sure it doesn't help now but I am a massive believer in fate - there is obviously a child out there who dearly needs you and is just waiting to be chosen. So whilst this chapter is closed (and painful right now) another very exciting one is about to start. I'm sorry again but stay strong. Good luck and keep us posted. Hugs x
Failed ICSI - First Cycle
failed cycles after success
Failed first cycle- debrief. 
Devastated after failed cycle 
