Referral sent off :)

Hi ladies hope everyone is good

Quick update just back from doctors. I had to really fight for a referral to an nhs gynae clinic. 2 weeks ago she was full of booking me into an nhs clinic. This morning she was trying to send me back to my private clinic who have put our egg sharing ivf on hold and won't see me till this sorted out. They want to see my paperwork and me to see one of the consultants before I can commence treatment. She was Saying they were being difficult. Trying to save the nhs budget no doubt,but we are not paying private patients which I explained arrr!Should I just go back to my clinic? She also wondered why our nhs gynae didn't discover fibroid when we were at our old nhs fertility clinic and was shocked by being told brutally ivf or trying but we won't fund your ivf! And she looked through the paperwork of our ex clinic. And pointed out 2 counties near us would've funded us but every county has a different policy,but was horrified but how we were treated. At least I got a referral I thought in there I'm not coming out without one lol I done what I needed to do and I'm sure if she could've got out of it she would've done so and would've written to my clinic saying nothing was wrong! Girls I feel quite exhausted by it! Everything with infertility is such a battle!!! Sorry to moan I am glad Im having a expert in the field decide whether it's affecting things

[DianeArnold Partner Nurse Fertility Network UK]

Hi jess1981. Gosh you certainly have had the run-around with all of this! Let’s hope at last you don’t have to wait too long for your appointment to come through. Just wondered whether you would like me to send you my list of questions to go through before going to the clinic. There just may be one or two you hadn’t thought of asking. Too long to add on here, but if you email me (all confidential) I will send them to you. [e-mail] Just a little reminder! Gynaecology/obstetrics have the longest named conditions, longest names for treatment and the longest waiting times in medicine! LOL. Diane

[Hidden in reply to DianeArnold]

Thank you for the reply DianeArnold.I do feel like I'm going round in circles lol! It's been a tough time. Trouble is coz I'm at a private clinic which confuses issues the fact I'm not paying or don't have the means if paying seems irrelevant to my doctors practice!I wish it had been discovered whilst I was under an nhs consultant would've been much easier my dr thinks fibroid was there a year ago frustrated at that . I will email you coz I need to go in there armed and prepared.Thank you X

[DianeArnold Partner Nurse Fertility Network UK in reply to Hidden]

Hi. Please do. Diane

[MrsDx]

Hi Jess, you are so right. Infertility is such a battle and a long winded one at that!! We have just appealed our no funding decision on the basis that the NHS were so slow at referring me for surgery and during this wait, the criteria changed. I'm still so angry that I have just turned 30 and someone can turn around and say I am not entitled to funding. We are still not allowed finding and our next step is to meet with a senior executive to understand why. I'm in two minds as to whether to do it because the outcome won't change but I need to understand why they feel that making these life changing decisions is right. I was declined because my fsh was 11 and it needed to be 8.9. Really?! Stay strong Hun and keep going as everything you are doing really will give you the best possible outcome xxx

[Hidden]

MrsDx that's so awful I'm so sorry you don't get nhs funding know how that feels. I think they make criteria so hard on purpose so they can get out of funding lots of couples. It's not fair a lot of the criteria set out are by ccg not by nice guidelines. I can't beleive they refused due to fsh levels. Seriously who makes up these rules?! It's playing god with people's lives and it's not right. I know Hun nothing is ever quick with nhs unless it's an emergency. We were denyed funding us due to me having a child from a previous relationship but hubby ain't a dad yet 2 counties 3 miles each away from us would've both funded our ivf cycle. It's not a fair system. What really gets me is how the criteria varies from county to county I think it should be the same then at least it would

be fair.

I am determined and nothing or no one will get in my way of having the best chance of having a baby It's sad we have to fight like that to get listened to. This could be only chance of having ivf and for peace of mind I need to knowing we have given ourselves the best chance. Everything I've read about sub mucol fibroids the rare fibriods say they do infer with fertility no matter what their size coz of their location. I'm sticking to my guns and going with my gut feeling I phoned the clinic I'm being refered who were lovely and are keeping an eye for my referral and i should hear within 2 weeks regarding first appointment And if not call them they also put me on a cancelation appointment list so I might get seen quicker

Thanks for the kind words it has made me feel better so thank you I hope the rest of your ivf goes well and I hope your treatment is successful you deserve it Hun Let me know how you get on and here if you ever need a chat X

[Hopeful1982]

Hi Jess1981, well done on standing your ground and getting the referral. I hope you don't need to wait too long for your appointment. It can be so exhausting! Look after yourself and take care x x x

[Hidden]

Thanks hopeful1982 feeling much better now thanks. It is horrible that you have to be like that to get anywhere but I guess that's the way it is. What made me laugh was how dr took my blood pressure after.. ! What for? To check how much she had stressed me out lol?! My gut instict is telling me the fibriod needs sorting out and is an issue. I spoke to the clinic I'm being refered to who were really nice and are looking out for my referral and I should get my appointment date letter within 2 weeks. If I don't hear by then they said to call them. Appointments range from 2 to 11 weeks dependent on urgency which mine isn't. But they have put me on a cancelation appointment list Hopefully it'll be worth my fight and wait things we have to do lol!

Anyhow how are you? What's the next step for you? Hope everything is good with you xx

[Hopeful1982 in reply to Hidden]

Hi Jess, I think you're right to follow your gut. I'm a strong believer that we know our bodies and we know when something is wrong! Fingers crossed for a cancellation so you can get in quick!

I'm just waiting on my letter to start IVF. I emailed the hospital last week as we were going to book a wee holiday in the sun ☀️👙 for some R&R but it looks like it's on hold just now as I'm told our notes are with the consultant to decide on protocol and we will be starting in May!

I have been feeling really positive but today I had a "what if it doesn't work" panic and spent most of the day in tears! Thankfully DH is away for work so has not had to suffer it!

Take care x x x

[Hidden]

Hi Jess1981,

Oh gosh what a nightmare, so happy you managed to get your referral tho and fingers crossed you'll have an appointment as soon as possible. I had a nightmare with my GP which could of put our egg sharing back by 3months and they were so nonchalant about it, I got so upset and ended up having to be very firm to get them to actually have any sense of urgency about sorting their error! It's crazy! Sometimes it really feels like the NHS is an enemy to struggling couples. I find it crazy how different you get treated when you're paying for it.

Anyway, I wish you all the best, keep us posted! Will be thinking of you xxxx

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Thank you missav Tell me about bloody useless aren't they?! They don't understand how their actions affect us like going through this isn't bad enough! If you complain they'll all turn on you so they got you where they want you. Annoyingly!!! I'm so Glad it didn't delay things for you It is bad enough I had to fight and I'm not joking took me a few days if fighting to get my scan results. The hospital when I had my scan wanted me to see my dr to discuss my results but dam receptionists wouldn't allow an appointment and went against the hospital recommendation! But then to fight dr for a referral is too much. I had to point out that this impacting on my health too it's not ok that I suffer with heavy painful periods and I bleed between cycles and having strong cramps too. Then she agreed! Im not after a fertility clinic I've got one silly woman! But wot really got me the most was there was a question mark on the size of the fibroid as she referring to it as small as I said they are not 100% sure of that silenced her lol!!! Thank god for this site helps getting things of your chest But I phoned the clinic I'm being referred to and they were so nice And said I should hear within 2 weeks if not call them. They also put me on a cancelation list for quicker appointment so I might not have to wait to long. As horrible as having time delay is I need to make sure I'm 100% ok to have the best chance of it working this could be my only chance got to back my gut feeling I'll let you know when I hear from gynae clinic

Anyway enough of my grumbling! How are you? How is the ivf? What point are you at? Hope alls well with you. Xxx

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Hi Jess,

I know. You'd think they'd be extra sensitive to IVF patients.

I'm good thank you, started the pill on Saturday so now taking it back to back until I get the call to say we can start my injections and book out training appointment. I have our big box of drugs on the counter all ready to go and the 1 in the fridge.

Feels very really now - if everything goes to plan, I should find out if it has worked in May. Very exciting but quite scary too, am really not looking forward to the pessaries and being at work

Hope you're OK, I like to keep up to date with you. If it wasn't for you I'd know nothing about egg sharing so thank you so so so much xx