Opinions on the 'kindest' way to get a BFN.

[Kernishp]

I know we're all used to peeing on a stick and getting a BFN. It's painful, sucky and downright horrible. I would like your opinions the best way to get this news, personally I have never been able to wait for AF to arrive or for the doctors appointment and always end up testing around 12DPO 'just so I'm prepared' for the eventual sucker punch when it happens. Two cycles ago I asked my husband to read the result on the Clearblue Digi test we were using, even though we knew there was practically no chance of a BFP, when the test screamed up the words 'Not Pregnant' and he read it he said "Well that's a bit harsh" and got quite upset, which is unlike him. I think the experience scarred him as he still talks about it now and won't buy that type of test anymore. I know how he feels as I too have come to associate the word Clearblue with impending doom and disappointment. Do you think there are any 'kinder' tests out there? Last time I used a non digital Clearblue one (the one that shows a digital + or - I think is about as bad as the words one as the - looks like a 'no entry' sign which I always think means 'no entry to the mummy club for you') and I think it was a bit kinder than the digital one, but then I was constantly pulling it out of the bin and looking in vain for the magic second line.

This cycle I am tempted to buy a load of Internet cheapie ones and use one every day so I can have a gentle let down over a number of days- but is this better or will it result in a more extreme performance of rooting through the rubbish and trying to spot a non existent line?

I know one thing for sure, if I ever do get pregnant I am going to pee on one of those damn Clearblue digi tests everyday just to see what a positive result looks like.

[EmmaT88]

Hi Kernishp!

I was wondering exactly the same thing!! I am on my third week of down reg of our first IVF cycle, but before this I pretty much took a test every month for about a year and a half. The thought of buying and taking a pregnancy test makes me feel sick, I hate them!!! I hate the thought of them, I hate the whole procedure and I am dreading it. I thought about getting my husband to give me the results, but then I don't want to be angry at him for telling me. I don't want to do what I did the rest of the times which is to take the test on my own in the bathroom and sit on the floor just waiting for the sign... this time I think I will take the test and walk away - go and do something ... god knows what though!!! If anyone else has any ideas I would really appreciate it as well!! I am getting myself worked up about the test already and I am not even there yet!! (Its nice to know I am not the only one though!!) xxx

[Hopeful1982]

I used to test every month when we first started 'trying' but I found I ended up dealing with double disappointment - a negative test and then AF. Until AF arrives you always hold out a bit of hope that the test was wrong, that you tested too early, that the hormone levels weren't high enough. So, I stopped doing tests and just waited on AF. It is definitely (a tiny bit) easier than doing a test.

We have our first appointment for IVF in March. I've been thinking about having to do that test and already slightly dreading it! I know I've not done a cycle so it's easy for me to say, but based on my experience ttc I don't think testing during the 2ww helps. Even if you got a BFP I'm not sure you would really believe it so I think its best to wait and only test once.

I'm not sure what you could do to make it easier. You go through so much with IVF, to get the result on a stick you pee on in your bathroom seems ridoculous! Maybe you could make an appointment with your GP? It can feel like you're never going to see that positive test!!!

Good luck for your test day! x

[Hidden]

Hi Kerniship.

I am due to start my first round of IVF with icsi and have been wondering about what tests to use, but I have promised myself and made my OH agree that we will not do a test before the end of our 2ww. I have seen so many ladies on here do and early test, so through the heart ache of looking at the BFN result, to then do a test on the actual date they have been told by the clinic to get a BFP (something to do with the right hormone building up in your system). I know it is probably the hardest wait in the world but I do think it's best to wait as long as possible - at least that's what I'll be attempting to do, probably easier said than done.

I do think though that there is no "kind" way to find out the treatment hasn't been successful and no matter what, it'll be horrible Sending you lots of love and successful pregnancy wishes. xx

[Kernishp]

I wish someone would make HPT for us long time ttc-ers. Maybe it could say 'Not this time' or 'Not yet' instead of 'Not pregnant'

[Hidden]

Yes there is def a gap in the market for that much kinder to those words there I agree it awful seeing the words not pregnant show up it's so final. I'm with hopeful 1982 I do not do pregnancy tests I find it too hard I just wait to see if my period shows up and if it's not there then I'd do a test. In the first few months of ttc id do a test every month this was when I was unaware just how hard getting pregnant actually is. I suppose till the day you get the BFP doing pregnancy will be unbelievably difficult you are not alone on this xxx