Hi, I am 9 weeks pregnant using an anonymous donor egg and my husband's sperm. I have my midwife booking appointment in a few days. As I recall from being pregnant with my daughter (non-IVF) (and also 3 subsequent non-IVF miscarriages), the midwife asks a lot of medical history questions at the booking appointment.
Does anyone with a donor egg baby remember what this appointment was like and what kind of things they asked you? I am worried they will make me feel uncomfortable about the donor egg situation if they are not adequately trained to be sensitive to different circumstances. And I have to go on my own as my husband will be away.
Grateful for any advice.
Thanks.
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Peanutbanana13
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Hey! I remember this appt well. The midwife will ask lots of questions and it’s up to you whether you disclose the donor or not. I think there’s just one blood test that they don’t need when you have a donor egg (& our ivf clinic had already run this test on the donor so I knew it was gone) . We did disclose and it transpired that our midwife used to be an IVF nurse so was super sympathetic/not awkward. I think midwives in general are trained on this as it’s not uncommon - but some of the other professionals (eg my GP) seemed a bit more awkward about it.
Currently pregnant with DE. Ihad such an appointment a few months ago. I had to answer about my medical history that I understand helps them identify risks for the gestation. I chose to disclose the donor conception. The midwife was not awkward at all. She just asked about the donor's age. In my notes just says "assisted conception" and apart from the screening tests at 12 weeks( where again they needed the donor's age and date of egg retrieval-if known) it hasn't come up again. I ve been going through some complications recently and the fact that my baby is donor conceived has not been mentioned. I think that although it's not common, it is a known scenario in maternity services and most staff are sensitive.
my midwife was fascinated as she said it’s still not something they see very often. I felt like a celeb lol. Personally I felt I should give full disclosure to make sure I was given the best appropriate care.
Hi, congratulations on your pregnancy. I had a donor egg pregnancy. From what I remember all question's around medical history were related to me and the pregnancy. Questions included: is there a history of blood clots within close family, high blood pressure, gestational diabetes, autoimmune conditions etc. it was more about identifying risks and managing those. I chose to tell them it was a donor pregnancy and the only time they asked questions about it was for the donors age, to calculate the risk of Downs, Edwards and Patau. Other than that it was written in my notes but not really mentioned.
At my booking appointment my midwife misunderstood and thought I was pregnant with a DE. ( I'm pregnant via IVF with my own egg) I only realised a week later when they called me to arrange a blood test that they only give to DE mums..... So it's probably worth being open about it, to get any extra tests if needed. Also the more people who are open about it, the more normalised it becomes (but only if you are comfortable with it). ❤
not donor egg but donor sperm in 2 pregnancies and they were totally fine in that appointment. I also found it best just to be upfront. In fact as soon as I said IVF they asked if it was my own eggs I think in most recent one as it affects some of the later appointments/conversations further down the line (like NT results). We had some medical history of the donor so I told them what we could. This will be something you need to deal with throughout babies life too so may as well get the convos started, I’ve found all doctors and nurses and midwives completely professional when dealing with my pregnancies and my child’s medical history questions (have a 3.5 year old donor conceived child that’s needed some consultation and hospital stays due to his breathing etc.) I’ve also had some mess up a tiny bit if they ask an irrelevant question etc and they feel more stupid than you do when you correct them so I just laugh it off 😂 I e not found one person who isn’t trying their best to be helpful and supportive though of a situation that isn’t their ‘bog standard’ convo xx
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