How do I mentally get through on and off bleeding in first trimester?

[orangecatmum]

Hi all,

Short backstory: I am currently 6 weeks 4 days pregnant with an IVF pregnancy. I fell pregnant naturally last year but it ended in a horrendous miscarriage at 7 weeks. I had a gut feeling the whole time I would MC as something felt 'off', and I was sadly right.

This pregnancy so far has been... dramatic. A fair bit of bleeding on and off, mainly brown, causing a bucketload of anxiety for me - a naturally anxious, control freak sort of person, especially after my previous MC. I ended up having an early scan on Friday at my IVF clinic because the bleeding got heavier on Thursday. To my absolute shock, they saw an embyro there, 'perfectly implanted' (doctor's words), with a tiny heartbeat and measuring bang on 6 weeks 1 day. I was happy but also terrified knowing it could still go away.

She saw no sign of why I had been bleeding and suggested that I'd maybe bad a haematoma that I'd passed (hence the heavier bleed.)

Fast forward to now, and after some brown and coffee-ground style spotting over the weekend, last night before bed I got some quite intense cramps - worse than I have had so far. They felt... different. Deeper. And this morning I woke up to fresher blood.

It has tapered off a bit now and is back to scanty brown, but my head is an absolute mess.

I know that bleeding on and off can be normal but I am really struggling mentally with the on/off nature of mine. This morning I called in sick for work, convinced this was the start of a miscarriage. I also thought my symptoms had vanished but I think they do first thing in the morning then kick in mid-morning.

I know I'm not out of the woods yet and it could still go south - but I'd love to know if anyone has experienced anything similar, this on and off bleeding with cramping, and it turned out ok?

And also - how on earth do I mentally survive through this time? I assume this will keep happening to me and I can't keep bothering my poor clinic every time - not sure what good that would do!

Any advice would be so welcome!

[PRAYINGFORTHISTOWORK]

hello I am sorry your are going through this, my daughter was exactly the same (as was I) and the only thing that got her through was ridiculous amounts of scans but it reassured her that everything was ok. The anxiety didn’t go away until her babies were in her arms. However I think if you can try not to look to far into the future and try and get into the mindset that your pregnant right now and worrying about the what ifs is taking away your joy. I completely understand that this is hard when you have the scars of the past and also with any bleeding we always assume the worst when in fact it can be quite normal … I really hope things settle down for u x

[Kitkat10]

I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I had spotting between 4 and 6 weeks and found that stressful enough. Don’t worry about calling your clinic, it is their job to help you through this.

However, I found my clinic very unhelpful at this time and I went to my GP who was lovely. I was quite distraught and she helped me get some extra scans and bloods etc from the EPAU who were absolutely amazing. They did see haematomas in my lining and warned me about more bleeding which didn’t happen but maybe the blood was resorbed. The haematomas were not that close to the pregnancy and all went well from there on.

The doctor at the EPAU told me to go back to them if I had any more bleeding or worries and this just gave me a bit of comfort that I didn’t just have to suffer the unknown on my own at home. I’m sorry you’ve had a stressful start, I hope everything goes a bit more smoothly from now on xx

[raverg]

I’ve had a brown discharge continuously between week 3 (the 2ww) and week 9. I even had an episode with heavy red bleeding and big clots (no cramping though, just continuous discomfort on one side) that took me to the A&E, but the EPU scan showed the baby was perfectly fine. They did find a big haematoma which was missed by my IVF clinic as their scanners aren’t as good. I would recommend going directly to your local EPU when you have red bleeding or brown spotting you’re concerned about, as they’re usually set up specifically for these scenarios and you’re no bother to them. They might even up your progesterone.

As someone else said, the repeated scans and the repeated reassurance is what helped me through this. I had one at 6 weeks (ivf clinic), 6 weeks and 3 days, 8 weeks (both at epu), 9 weeks (ivf clinic), and have another one at 11+4 (along with nipt) and one at 12+4 (nhs week 12 scan). I’m now week 10 and while I had a week off from the brown discharge, this weekend it came back as I walked more around the city. The doctors tell me to avoid exercise and activities that elevate my heart rate, but to live my life as usual otherwise, and your body will let you know when you did too much with some slight aches and cramps. I’m much more relaxed now, especially as you get to learn the patterns after a while, and how it feels when it’s on but okay. But I totally understand how triggering it is to go through a milestone where everything ended in a previous pregnancy. Mine was at 4-5 weeks and I was a mess during that week. Best of luck! Xx

[Livinginoz]

Hi,

No advice, but just to say I hear you! I’m 7+4, no bleeding but I’m in a constant state of anxiety due to previous loss - if I don’t feel sick I’m worried my symptoms have disappeared and I fear the worst. I only had a scan last week and I’m already considering booking another one to get me through!

Hope you’re doing ok and the bleeding goes!

[EmoChild]

Went through this exact thing. If the bleeding has returned/gotten worse please go to GP or a and e, and they should refer you to your nearest early gynea unit.

I was prescribed progesterone pessaries until week 16 to support our embryo and the source of our bleed was picked up by them and was nothing to worry about.

We know have a 2 month old!

[Twiglet2]

I’m right there with you! Bother your clinic!! I’ve been having weekly scans since 5+3 for on off bleeding and now 8+4 and have my last one with them (hopefully) this week, it’s what they are there for and I’ve just taken every opportunity to get a scan going. I did the same with my son (I bled up to 10’weeks with him) I have a history of misscariage too! Thinking of you for all the worry but great news on your last scan 💜

[orangecatmum]

Thanks everyone! I wanted to avoid being the person who called my clinic every time I saw blood and ask for a scan... but it seems like actually that's the only way to cope, ha! I was thinking maybe I was just overreacting, and that I was hoping for some kind of meditation method to get me through, and that blood is totally normal and fine to see, no big deal... but maybe not. Thanks for all of your replies, and glad to hear that you've all been able to get the support you needed.

I have spoken to my clinic now and while they aren't worried about yesterday (as the blood tapered off really quickly), they have told me to keep them updated as much as I need to, and that they can bring my next scan forward if I need to.

I also just feel so awkward with work too - does anyone else feel that? Needing time/days off because of your worries and panic and maybe needing to go and be seen. Such a drama - I would love this process to be drama-free! Sadly...

[Saskiahope]

Hey! How you doing now lovely? X

[orangecatmum in reply to Saskiahope]

Hey love - am ok for now! Well, full of first trimester symptoms so feeling quite rough, ha, and the spotting is still there on and off. I had another scan on Thursday when I was 7 weeks and all looked OK then too! Baby growing on time, heartbeat etc. I am now no longer with my clinic - if I carry on spotting for the next few weeks, I may try to get another early scan at the EPU.

It's been a crazy whirlwind! Just hope I can make it few to 12 weeks unscathed! How are you getting on? X