37 and not pregnant.

[Saskiahope]

Hi,

Well I’m feeling miserable.

I’m 37 and have been trying for a year to get pregnant. I know for some people that’s not long, but for me it has felt like ages and has been a very up and down journey. I think it would be easier if I knew there was light at the end of the tunnel. I hate being in limbo.

Yesterday I did another negative test and I’m currently in the bath feeling sorry for myself.

I thought I’d reach out to say hi, to see how other people are doing and really, in all honesty I’m hoping for some reassurance that one day this may happen for me.

My partner is 10 years older than me and we’ve been together for 10 years and I’m worried that we’ve waited to long and we may never get to have our own children.

It all feels a bit sad.

I know I will be ok but still it’s such a rollercoaster time.

Sending my thoughts out to anyone else in the same boat.

S

[Boo718]

hiya I hope that you are ok. I have been with my husband 13 years and he is almost ten years older than me. We were ttc for 7 years before going down the ivf route and after 5 years of ivf I am now pregnant. Unfortunately we had to give up on our own (there was lots of issues on both sides) so went down the donor route and we honestly couldn’t be happier. Life can be so cruel sometimes but you have to stay positive. There is light at the end of the tunnel. Xxx

[Saskiahope in reply to Boo718]

Hi, i’m okay thank you, it’s hard as i’m finding the moment that I realise I am not pregnant is the time when I am most hormonal within my cycle, therefore least emotionally resilient.

I am so pleased that you have finally become pregnant and fingers crossed that I will be pregnant myself one day.

Thank you for your response x

[Purpledoggy]

Hi Saskia. This forum is specifically for people pregnant after fertility struggles. There is a fertility network page (without ‘pregnancy support’ in the title) for those currently struggling to conceive. Almost everyone on here started on there 😊 I wish you all the best in your journey xx

[Saskiahope in reply to Purpledoggy]

Hi, thanks for the info, when I joined the group I got a little confused and I have now joined the one you suggested x

[Purpledoggy in reply to Saskiahope]

Totally understandable 😊 Just thought you might feel dejected when everyone on there was pregnant! Xx

[Positivechangeplease]

Hey, I was 37 when we started trying to get pregnant. Just checking you know you only have to try for 6 months before seeking help for fertility. But explain you have been trying a year. Go to your GP. They should send you for blood tests and refer you straight away. If you’ve had no children between you, you will at least be eligible for fertility treatment on the nhs after 3 years for at least one round if not more. If they find a problem you could get help sooner but they will also advise what to change to help natural fertility in the meantime. Hope this helps

[Saskiahope in reply to Positivechangeplease]

Hey, thanks for your reply.

Yes, I’ve been to the doctors and have got the ball rolling, I’ve had blood tests and the only thing that came up was very borderline low testosterone, which they have said is so on the borderline that they are not concerned about it (and despite my googling and further concerns due to reading too much it is not, they say, likely to be linked to being perimenopausal like I was worried about as the other tests and my cycle etc were fine).

My partner is now going through the early process of being checked out and has a sperm analysis appointment in April, and I guess we will see what happens following on from that. He is 10 years older than me so I wonder if with that in mind it may just take us a bit longer… but who knows. I also have a vaginal scan at the end of February. I have also been considering going private for this early stage of tests as I feel like my confidence in the NHS system at the moment feels a little thin, and the GP’s I have spoken to so far don’t seem to have much in the way of advice to offer (one just said have sex every other day) . It also seems to take ages to get going regarding referrals and getting appointments etc, but then we got a referral for the sperm analysis via NHS just as if made the decision to go private so I will wait and see how long that all takes. But if there are issues we will need to go down the NHS route anyway due to the expense and our money situation.

I’ve done more research about my body and my cycle etc so perhaps it’s just a case of getting better with timings etc. I’m now properly observing the changes in my body, alongside the ovulation tests I was relying on before.

it’s crazy how I spent my whole youth trying not to get pregnant and now I’ve spent the last 10 years dreaming about having a baby and desperately wanting to be in a position where my partner and I were ready and the last year trying desperately to make that happen, aging and the body can be such a mystery and quite cruel at times.

Anyways. Roll on next try 🤣🤣😭😭🤣🤣

[Positivechangeplease in reply to Saskiahope]

other than having tests when you get referred to the fertility clinic the doctors can’t offer much more advice than have sex every other day. However there are things you and your partner can do (well that I would do now) to help. Also fyi my partner had sperm issues and apparently I had no problems and he is actually 8 years younger than me so it’s not always age. If you get referred to the fertility clinic, they’ll start testing you too to make sure you don’t have a problem. They didn’t pay much attention to my bloods either. I had high prolactin but apparently it can be someone’s normal and they checked and there was no issue. Anyway here’s what you can do. Cut out caffeine (I think it’s the biggest fertility offender) and cut down on alcohol (seems obvious). For your partner I found that increased testosterone increases sperm count so if he doesn’t do a lot of exercise taking up exercise increases testosterone and can increase sperm count. Also if your partner takes the multi vits that can also help. Are you taking multi vits? You should try and take naturally occurring methyl folate (this is natural folic acid) and not folic acid as this is synthetic and some women’s have some kind of rejection reaction to folic acid. I also went for acupuncture. Don’t know if it helped but everything I tried on my naturally modified FET produced my now baby. Hope all goes well for you. I ended up getting pregnant when I was 40 and giving birth when 41. You can do it!

[Hidden]

Hey! I think every month trying can be so hard.

Even if it has been just a year it seems long when you are trying for the first time.

I know that feeling you can't make plans as you think - maybe next month...and also the worry of thinking it will never happen.

A lot of people on this forum have been though that so will offer encouragement and support.

The main fertility group is great for people at your stage - I learn so so much from the people on there.

Have you made contact with your gp for initial checks to make sure all is ok?

Xxx

[Saskiahope]

Hey! Hopefully you can see the above replies. Thanks so much for your message, it’s a hard time and I can see that it’s like that for everyone on the groups, I really hope everyone has the success they are looking for and that I do too!

[Skye100]

I came off the pill at 37 was never careful there after. Partner and I had been trying for a year, nothing. I went to the drs and had bloods done, all came back fine. I too was considering going private for further tests and partner was willing to go down ivf route if needs be. I tried the ovulation tests but found the flo app worked just as well so saved £30 on that. I ended up buying a fertility cup from eBay (£6 instead of £30 in boots!). I used if twice in one cycle and bang. First pregnancy at 40 and due in July. Can only assume the swimmers needed a little more assistance to reach the goal 😂

Good luck I appreciate your frustration as I also thought it was never going to happen x

[Saskiahope]

Thanks for your post, and congratulations on your pregnancy :-))) what an uplifting story! What’s a fertility cup out of interest? X