Upset

[Hells18]

So I don’t know or can’t imagine anyones mother- Inlaw calling them fat out tin the street and not just once and then the day after ringing you up telling you over and over how chubby you look and how fat I am 😞 and then to top it off my husband is being distant and not himself and also let his mum speak to me like that!! I’m so so depressed

[RecipIVF]

Oh my goodness - that is absolutely shocking behaviour and totally unacceptable! So sorry you have to contend with that. Xx

[Hells18 in reply to RecipIVF]

I don’t understand how someone can treat someone that way and I was insecure about my weight before being pregnant, it’s really made me feel depressed and I have no6 stopped crying xxx

[RecipIVF in reply to Hells18]

Please remember you don’t deserve this and it really shows the type of person she is. Like why comment on anyone’s weight never mind a pregnant womans?! If you do choose to raise how rude and disrespectful this behaviour is, the right tone goes a long way. I hope she feels guilty as hell. Xx

[Redsequin]

I’m sorry, Hells, that’s AWFUL. Is she usually this unacceptable or is it a one off? Might be worth having conversation with your husband to explain how it’s making you feel? And could you say, “I’m sure you don’t mean to hurt me, but I’m not prepared to listen to this kind of talk. I’m going to go now” and hanging up if she phones spouting the same nonsense again? No one should have to listen to that. Xxx

[Hells18 in reply to Redsequin]

He heard her yesterday as she was on speaker he said he would say something as I was upset coz it happened 2 days in a row. She comes across so thoughtful and nice to everyone but she’s sly and even slags her other sons wife Off it’s! I don’t want my baby to grow up thinking it’s fine to speak to people like that but I’m a shy person and to worried to say anything xx

[Redsequin in reply to Hells18]

Uff I know, it’s so hard. My MIL can also be inappropriate and has said things like “You should wear more make up” or “You shouldn’t eat xyz” and it’s shocking to me how she never stops to think how she would feel if someone said the same to her!

I’m also shy and find setting boundaries hard, but when I have politely pushed back it has had an impact. I think if you start with “I love you, and I’m sure you don’t mean to hurt me, but my body isn’t your business and it hurts my feelings when you comment on it like that.” It can go down a bit better!

Anyway hopefully your husband will speak to her because it’s really not fair, and poor thing you’ve got enough on your plate being pregnant after IVF.

Sending hugs xxxx

[Positivechangeplease]

OMG that’s awful for someone to treat you that way. I’d mention it to the midwife, and I’d make sure it’s brought up and she’s told that she’s being mean and inappropriate. If it were me I’d be at war with her and not engage but I understand not everyone feels like that, and im sorry your OH doesn’t stand up for you. Big hugs you don’t deserve that.