Separation after failed IVF

[GWINDSOR]

Good day my husband asked for a separation one week after my fail IVF. He advised we are no longer have same interests and he found someone who is more compartable with him and wants to give it a try. We advised the person that he wants me to be in his life still as we spent the last 18 years together. She told him her parents got divorced when she was young and they got back together and is stronger than ever. Since he asked for the separation he has been crying daily saying he’s sorry . Last night he went over to his girlfriend house and woke up crying this morning .

Has this ever happened to anyone.

.

[JoyfulStar]

Hi there,

It has not happened to me but I am shocked and absolutely lost for words!

I noticed you did not really say how you are feeling especially as you have had another recent disappointment with the failed IVF. I hope you have family and friends that are able to support you through this.

I will have you in my prayers 🙏🏾

[Hidden]

Personally I wouldn’t want him and want nothing to do with him if he’s found someone else who’s more “compatible” off you pop then. She’s probably changed her mind with guilt and he’s feeling guilty too not knowing what to do for himself.

Sorry your going through this I was with my husband 16 yrs I know what it feels like being with someone a long time but my life is so much better now.

[LaceyS90]

Hello x

I didnt want to read and run, something about your story compelled me to comment.

First of all you must be going through a world of emotions right now. First thing I'd advise is to take time to process how you feel about the failed IVF try & the betrayal of your husband. Dont worry about him crying or feeling sad, he wanted his cake and he's got it. You need to put you first, he can wait. I'm not going to say divorce him! Cheating **** because only you know in your heart what you want/need to do. I'm not sure how I would feel if my husband were to do the same, we've been TTC for 8 years this year, I think it would break me and I couldn't ever trust him even if I forgave him - but that's my view, you go with your gut.

However I would seriously take some time and think.. why was he going through IVF with you if he'd already found someone else? Why would he do what he's done just one week after a failed round of IVF and not considered your emotions? It sounds to me he is saying he wants you in his life because he feels guilty and/or you are a backup if it doesn't work with his new flame. He can't just do that to either of you. The new girlfriend is probably wanting a clean break between the two of you, surely no other woman would want the ex hanging round?

Maybe worth trying to talk to him and ask for absolute honesty before you consider your next move. Ask him why he did this? Why he didn't consider attempting to fix the marriage before finding someone else? My husband and i went through a rough patch, we'd been together so long we lost sight of why we were together but we worked through it. It was our policy entering marriage, we'd try everything before we ended it. Thankfully it worked and we are in a stronger place.

Does your IVF provide counselling? Our IVF service offers it free, maybe worth using that to deal with why the round failed?

I really hope you will get all the answers you need in order to decide what you want to do to move forward and I'm so sorry your IVF process failed. Praying that you will heal from this soon. X