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Covid-19 So Close to Starting IVF I could almost touch it

Bernie150781 profile image
17 Replies

I know there are far more serious things going on in the world right now and I know there will be so many of you in the same situation but i'm gutted and there seems to be no end in sight.

My infertility started about 4 years ago and I feel at every step of the way there is always a hurdle, first one was finding out I was unable to get pregnant due to blocked tubes, then having to wait months for the surgery (which I was told it was not guaranteed to work) but I was hopeful, then I learned it didn't work, then I had nearly a 12 month wait until I could have the surgery needed to remove both my tubes, which I found really difficult to deal with, but knew it was my only option and I had to overcome this.

Then I was meant to be starting my first injections this week and due to Covid-19, its all cancelled and I completely understand why, but there seems no end in sight, I am lucky enough to have this on the NHS but once I hit 40 I can no longer have it on the NHS, I will be turning 40 in July 2021, so I know I have a bit of time yet but who know if the NHS will continue to fund it after this crisis starts to ease off, I feel like my journey is almost over and Ive barely begun, to add insult to injury, everyone is talking about a baby boom in 9 months because people have nothing better to do while on lock down, I find it very hard to hear.

I am lucky enough that I have a fantastic husband and while on lock down I am able to do my daily bike ride and have a good routine to keep me positive and i'm doing my best but finally I'm starting to feel beaten down by the whole thing while for so long I have been so positive.

A friend of mine actually cried at me last week when she learned my appointments have been cancelled, she felt so sorry for me, I ended up hugging her to make her feel better, strangely I haven't cried myself yet but i'm scared if I start I won't stop.

Sorry for the long post, I just needed it off my chest x x x

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Bernie150781
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17 Replies
Nat246 profile image
Nat246

Hi Bernie, sorry to hear you are struggling.

I’m in the same boat, both Fallopian tubes removed so whilst others can still try naturally and feel like they are at least doing something, feeling completely stuck and useless.

I am praying so much that one of the first things they are flexible with when the reduce restrictions is attending fertility appts.

Until then, sounds like you have a good routine to keep as fit and healthy for when we can attend appts.

We will get there though, we are both so strong to still be fighting after all we’ve been though! Feel free to message if you want a chat xx

Bernie150781 profile image
Bernie150781 in reply to Nat246

Ah thank you, I haven't come across many women with both tubes removed, I feel completely useless, but I do feel like there is still some hope (until there isn't) yes lets keep positive x

Nat246 profile image
Nat246 in reply to Bernie150781

Me neither, it’s hard to process as zero chance of ever conceiving without IVF, most women still have a small chance so you really do feel useless x

Bernie150781 profile image
Bernie150781 in reply to Nat246

Were you close to starting your IVF?

Nat246 profile image
Nat246 in reply to Bernie150781

Yes should have been starting April 2020.

What about you?

Bernie150781 profile image
Bernie150781 in reply to Nat246

Same here, I was meant to be starting Injections this Thursday on a long protocol, it's so frustrating. I wonder if we will have to have all the blood tests again after this, as I imagine it will be more than 3 months and the previous bloods will be out of date, this is just more time consuming again.

Nat246 profile image
Nat246 in reply to Bernie150781

I hope not but knowing our luck to be in this position in the first place I’ll bet they are needed!

Literally feels like the world must hate me 😩

Bernie150781 profile image
Bernie150781 in reply to Nat246

Yeah I feel the same, keep yourself distracted as best you can, try and enjoy the little things, especially now, being out of work, I have all the time in the world to think about it but I am keeping busy, good luck, I have now followed you so it will be good to see how things progress, take care x

Nat246 profile image
Nat246 in reply to Bernie150781

Thanks you too xx

Run4ever profile image
Run4ever

just to say very sorry and i understand. I have one blocked tube (so not in exactly same position but still) and endo and had to endure my 4th lap to find out, to be put back on the list for tube clipping and the surgeon has a 9 month wait and that was prior to covid! I don’t know why they didn’t clip it before - i even offered to consent prior. So frustrated and my period pain is horrific whilst waiting as can’t have my coil

Bernie150781 profile image
Bernie150781 in reply to Run4ever

Yes I Know what you mean, sometimes I fell like they do something, knowing it might not work, why can't they just cut to the end result and skip all the bits in between, so for you, even when Covid-19 is easing off, you still have a way to go, You're in the right forum for positive support, it's good that people understand how difficult it is on here and you don't feel alone, I hope you get what you need when this is over x x

Borninthe80s profile image
Borninthe80s

Hi Bernie,

So sorry to hear that... I also haven't been able to conceive due to blockages (only they are with my husband). He had an unsuccessful operation over a year ago too so we began our IVF journey. My first round didn’t work as I got bad OHSS after egg collection and on this second round I was only a week away from transfer when it got cancelled due to Covid :(

I had a few bad days trying to take it all in and have been watching the news updates obsessively hoping for an end in sight. I even found it difficult to celebrate my best friends amazing news that she is 3 months (instead I secretly cried which makes me feel like an awful friend).

I agree it’s all about distraction at the moment and staying positive and it sounds like you are doing a good job at that.

Hopefully we will be able to get back on theIVF path soon but until then sending you lots of positivity. Keep strong! X

Bernie150781 profile image
Bernie150781 in reply to Borninthe80s

Oh i'm sorry to hear this, can I ask, on the second round, did they still collect your eggs and freeze them, or did you have to stop taking the injections half way through?

You're not an awful friend, I know you will be happy for her at the same time but sad for yourself which is completely understandable.

I read on Facebook the other day , that a friends sister announced her pregnancy at 3 months and I felt angry even though I don't know her,when I read further she had IVF too and would have only had her transfer in January and thought (you are one of the lucky ones before this virus)

My everyday is all about distractions, i'm doing OK so far :-)

Hopefully we can all get back on track soon x x

Borninthe80s profile image
Borninthe80s

Hi,

I had to just stop taking the injections half way through unfortunately.

It’s strange what it all does to you hey. I had to take myself off FB in the end as it started to seem like it was just flooded with pregnancies and baby photos lol but I’m sure that was just me subconsciously noticing it more. 😄

Bernie150781 profile image
Bernie150781 in reply to Borninthe80s

Oh I'm so sorry to hear that, that must have been so hard to finally being on your journey then having it taken away like that, I thought they were seeing them through if you had started, obviously not.

I don't blame you for coming off Facebook, make sure you are trying to do something positive in each day and hopefully we won't have to wait too long X x x

Karinyaa profile image
Karinyaa

I think I understand how you're feeling now. A friend of mine with MRKH is currently undergoing mitochondrial donation & surrogacy in Ukraine. She told she feels frustrated by the effects of COVID-19 on their treatment journey. She feels ''so selfish for worrying about being delayed in my diagnosis journey when I know that people are dying from COVID due to lack of care and an overwhelmed health system.'' I believe this situation is just sucky all around, you have to be strong!

Karinyaa profile image
Karinyaa

Came here with the updates. The whole situation in clinics might have changed. A friend of mine, who's currently undergoing fertility treatments in Ukraine, for example, has got a special invitation from their clinic. Thanks to it she can fly to Kiev any time needed and continue her procedures. I just thought what if this approach has become more widely spread?? Ladies, do not loose hope.

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