4 miscarriages, infertility, suicide

[cutie_kitty]

I had four miscarriages, and then I was diagnosed with infertility because of endometrial hyperplasia. The more my husband Ben and I tried to conceive, the less hope we had for success because every time the consequences were the same as previously. I feel that Ben will leave me soon because he wants children so much and I am not able to give him them. If Ben leaves me, I will commit suicide. I need YOUR HELP!!!

[Pu217]

Hi there, I truly empathise with you and how you’re feeling is completely valid. I cannot begin to imagine how you feel.

But if you’re feeling suicidal, I would definitely get help to work through your feelings. Please do reach out to close friends or family or even better - a professional who may be able to help you work through your feelings and help give you a fresh outlook.

If your husband is a good man down to his core, he will not define your worth down to whether or not you can give him children. Most couples in this situation work through it through fertility treatments or finally adoption after a thorough discussion on what works for you both. If your husband has explicitly told you he will leave you if you cannot bear children then I would rethink the whole relationship if I were you. And if he has not said that to your face then assuming he might does not sound healthy. I think an open and honest conversation between you both is overdue.

Really hoping you get the help and support you need to push through this, wishing you the best.

[cutie_kitty in reply to Pu217]

Thank you so much for your support. Yes, I feel that everything is out of my hands. I feel like no one needs me... And I am looking for some miracle that can save me...

Bob did not say anything to me to the face but our relationship became much colder. I am just afraid of losing him. We are together from school, so I just can`t imagine my life without him.

[cutie_kitty in reply to Pu217]

Hi! I just wanted to say that I had a conversation with Ben. He said he loves me anyway, even if am not able to have children. But now I believe that I will have children. I will find the solution.

[Hidden]

Hi

I am sorry for your losses - I understand your pain as I too have had a large number of miscarriages.

Firstly, have you had any counselling? Its a lot for someone to deal with on their own. If you are feeling suicidal you should seek help straight away. if you feel like you are actually ok for now I would refer yourself via NHS talking therapies which is something you can do online and they will refer you. Or go and see your doctor.

Have you spoken to your partner. I was very worried mine would leave me because he wanted children and I wasn't able to provide him with them. However once I had spoken to him I was really reassured as he said he wanted children with me - not with anyone else - and if he couldn't have them with me he wouldn't have them - and would rather just be with me without children .. so you may find all your panicking is not needed.

Have you been referred to a fertility consultant who can talk to you about management of your condition. As I understand it you could still get pregnant possibly via IVF?

Don't deal with this on your own - ask for help x

[cutie_kitty in reply to Hidden]

Oh, I am really sorry about your experience. It is awful and you are a really strong woman. How did you find that strength to live further? Did you try everything that medicine suggests for your case?And I want to thank you for your reply to my post. Thanks for sharing your experience.

I didn`t try to speak to Ben in the way you did it. I think it is a good idea. At least I will stop "eating" myself with innuendo....

[cutie_kitty in reply to Hidden]

Daisy, I just wanted to say that I talked to Ben. He said he wants to be with me anyway and we will fight for having children together.

[RhinoCat]

Oh dear, you sound like you are in a very tough place. Have you said any of this out loud to Ben? He needs to know your feelings.

Please ring your gp and ask for help. Look on the MIND website. If you can’t help tell one person. You need support.

You are worth far more than your ovaries.

You are loved by many and will have people in your life who would prefer a difficult conversation like this to not ever talking to you again .

Please find someone to share your thoughts to.

Ben might not be thinking like this? Try to talk to him. Or write him a letter .

Love and tight hugs,

Message me privately if you want my number.

Hold tight 💐💐💐💐💐💐

[cutie_kitty in reply to RhinoCat]

I am crying. And smiling. My heart shrank because of your message. I even can`t find some words to thank for such support. I feel the strength now. I feel that I will fight. I will search for ways to treat and get pregnant. And Ben supports me and I feel I can rely on his strong shoulder.

[RhinoCat in reply to cutie_kitty]

You can do it! Just keep going 💐💐💐💐💐🥰🥰😘😘😘😘😘 well done for being honest! Hopefully now you feel Like you know who to talk to when you feel like this and can find a way forward 💐💐😘😘😘

[cutie_kitty in reply to RhinoCat]

🥰😍😍❤️❣️💞😍

[Honeywmn]

I am really sorry. I wish you strength, and I'm really glad you had talked to Ben. I am sure everything will be ok. You have hyperplasia, and I have hypoplasia. Two opposite diagnoses with one result. I am still trying to treat it.

[cutie_kitty in reply to Honeywmn]

I am happy you didn`t give up! What do you do for treatment?

[Honeywmn in reply to cutie_kitty]

I tried stem cell treatment. Now I am in the end of the regeneration phase, so after it doctors say I will be able to conceive. Cross your fingers for me!!

[Cally_uk]

We’ve all been there with those negative thoughts.

Please talk & support each other men need encouragement doing this. We assume they know how we feel & vice vicer.

It’s so hard you’re in it together all the best

[cutie_kitty in reply to Cally_uk]

Yes, support is our strength. And it`s great when your chosen one can understand what you feel.