Where am I going wrong?

[Teada]

I'm not sure where to begin with this. My husband and I have been trying to conceive since we got married, four and a half years ago. Because I am no longer a spring chicken, when we had been trying for six months with no success we went for testing. At that time we were told that there was no reason for us not to be able to conceive. The gynaecologist at the time told me that I was too old to be considered for IVF and that there was no point going back to my GP about it. I had a lot of things going on around that time and just went with what she said. Now I am wondering if I should have gone back to my GP. A lot of time has passed since this happened and in the past year I believe that I have experienced four "chemical pregnancies", two of which I had a faint positive test just days before. When speaking to the GP on two of these occasions I was told that there wasn't anything he could do. I feel ready to give up. I don't feel like I've been given enough help or support and don't know what to do next. If anyone has any advice, I'd really appreciate it.

[CAS2]

You may be too old for the NHS but not for private IVF. Why not go back to your GP anyway and find out? And then speak to your local fertility clinic and see what they say.Until you have the full information it’s hard to move forward. Good luck xx

[Afrohair]

i believe after 35 conception rate reduces but it's not impossible to get pregnant but I think there's a cut off for ivf on nhs and it's different for different areas the thing is time has dragged on now your right the best option would have been to have gone back to the g.p for a second opinion at the time if you feel like your mind would be at ease I think you should go back again for advice. The doctor is correct theirs not much you can do about chemical pregnancies it's the same if you have a loss under 12 weeks it's out of their control

I think you should look into ivf before it gets too late if you really want a baby it might be that you would need to use egg donor depending on age please try and get some kind of support if you can as you don't want this on your mind all the time with what if s buts and maybes it really needs addressing

[Hidden]

Oh Hun. I'm so sorry to read this. I was in a situation where I was made to feel I'd never be a Mum by the NHS as I was over 35 and it's absolute crap! How old are you now? I was recommended a brilliant clinic that I actually walked into 3 years ago today, 10 days before my 41st birthday and on the 3rd of December that year I had my son using my own eggs after our first IVF cycle. Private clinics can check so much these days & yes things are harder the older you get but it's not always impossible! There are many youngsters on here who have had unsuccessful rounds of IVF and older women who have had success. To generalise is damaging! Wishing you all the best. xx

[Teada in reply to Hidden]

Unfortunately as I had been undergoing treatment for a thyroid issue for many years, by the time I actually finished testing for fertility issues, I was past my 42nd birthday. I'm 44 now and doubt very much that I would be accepted for IVF at any clinic. I'm not even sure if I would have been considered had I gone back for further investigation at the time.

I've always felt as though I may have polycystic ovaries. It runs in my family and when I was younger I had all the symptoms, however I had the mirena coil in for many years and that suppressed a lot of the problems so I stopped thinking about it. When my fertility investigations were done they did many blood tests to check hormone levels and I had a hysterosalpingogram done, but they didn't scan my ovaries or anything like that.

The first time I went to see the gynaecologist she was very rude and refused to believe that a woman of 40 was only just married for the first time. She kept saying that I should have had children in my first marriage. The second time I went it was over a year later, and by that time I was 42. I thought that was the upper limit as the information given to me said those between 40-42 will be put forward for IVF after blood tests etc. However that gynaecologist said I was too old to even be considered and that there was no point even going back to my GP. I had just been made redundant from my job after six and a half years and was still reeling from that, so I just took her word for it and sort of gave up.

We continued to try, but ovulation was all over the place according to the tests I was taking and it became extremely testing for our relationship, so I stopped the testing and tracking of things and just decided to let nature take its course. Unfortunately, it seems as though I can't keep hold of any implantation so I thought maybe the GP could tell me if it's time to just stop trying and look for another route.