Miscarriage at 11 weeks

[Lola-88]

Hello ladies,

I finally have the strength to write about my MC.

I had a MC at 11 weeks, after having seen a strong heartbeat at 8 weeks. It was the worse experience of my life and I still think about it every single day and the way I was treated at the hospital.

I was at home sitting on my desk at 8am when I suddenly felt a pop in my abdomen and some water came out. I stood up and I could see the stain of water on my office chair (it wasn’t a lot, a size of a lemon approx). I went to the toilet straight away and I could see water and also a bit of blood. We ran to the hospital and they kept me waiting for a couple of hours so by the time they saw me the blood was all the way to my knees.

They finally saw me at around 11am. They asked me to open my legs, then inserted a speculum into my vagina and cleaned the blood and removed lots of clots. Then they confirmed they removed pregnancy tissue as well.

They said they were going to send me home as they had no availability for an ultrasound. I prayed to them to please have an ultrasound to see what was going on inside me, as they didn't give me any details at all. They finally told me I could wait until 3pm to have the ultrasound, so I accepted.

When I went for the transvaginal ultrasound scan, the doctor asked me why the nurses removed everything without even checking if the baby was okay with an ultrasound first, she said they should have waited and check with an ultrasound first. At that point I really didn't understand anything. The idea of thinking that the nurses could have finished with my baby's life was killing me.

They did lots of blood tests and I stayed overnight at the hospital. The morning after I was sent home without any kind of explanation.

I called afterward and asked if they could give me any idea of what happened, to see if there is anything I should consider when trying for a baby again. Their response was that MC are so common that they don't really try to find an explanation for it. I understand that, but I have no idea if my baby died inside me, or they could have done something to safe him/her...I really know nothing about what happened.

I was wondering if anyone has gone through a similar situation? I really try not to think about it but I would like to understand if this lack of information is normal when a MC happens. I felt like they cared nothing about me nor my pregnancy.

Thanks for listening xx

[Fingerscrossed34]

I’m so sorry for your loss. I haven’t been in this situation but just wanted to say I don’t think the nurses could have caused anything, if they removed pregnancy tissue through a speculum it sounds to me as though the tissue was already out of your uterus and so your baby couldn’t be saved. I can’t see how they could possibly have taken the baby from your uterus without you experiencing an awful lot of pain and a lot more than a speculum. I’m by no means an expert though. Not sure what the ultrasound doctor meant by that it doesn’t quite make sense to me. Unfortunately yes miscarriages are incredibly common and I don’t think there is a lot they can do to work out why it’s happened to you. Doctors and nurses and midwives see these losses all the time and unfortunately often become a little immune to the hurt they cause they see a medical condition rather than someone’s lost child. I’m sorry you weren’t treated more sensitively I would send the hospital writing in feedback so they can learn from their mistakes. Please just know it was nothing you did sweetheart. Sending you so much love. x

[Lola-88 in reply to Fingerscrossed34]

Thank you so much for your response, really appreciate it.

I like to think that as well, and that once I started bleeding there was nothing we could do, but sometimes it’s difficult not to think if I could have done something different to change the outcome.

Thank you xx

[Fingerscrossed34 in reply to Lola-88]

My daughter died at 27 weeks and I spend every single day wondering what I could have done differently. It’s human nature, the brain searches for reason and tries to make sense of situations for us it doesn’t mean that it’s right. There was 100% nothing you could do. Losses that early unfortunately there’s nothing anyone can do. x

[Lola-88 in reply to Fingerscrossed34]

I’m so sorry for your loss sending you lots of love. We have angels somewhere and they will be always in our hearts 💛

I know probably there was nothing I could have done differently but as you said, it’s human nature to keep thinking about it and why it happened to me.

I’m going through IVF hopefully sometime soon and I really pray all goes well next time xxx

[Georgie17]

I am so sorry to hear about your MC and your experience at the hospital. I recently lost my baby boy at 18 weeks pregnant. My waters broke and there isn’t anything they could have done to save him. It is heartbreaking and I feel your pain but don’t blame yourself as you could not have done anything different. I had a post morteum with my baby but they couldn’t find anything wrong with him so it’s just one of those things that can happen. It doesn’t make it any easier for you but the fact that you have been pregnant and got to that point shows that you can be pregnant and hopefully carry to full term next time. Infertility is hard enough and losing a baby makes it even harder for us. Take your time to process and grieve the loss of your baby. Sending you lots of hugs xx

[Lola-88 in reply to Georgie17]

Hi Georgie! Thank you for your comment.

I’m really sorry to hear about your loss and really hope everything goes well for you.

When I had the MC, the hospital never confirmed my water broke, but that’s what I believe because of the pop I felt in my stomach and the bit of water that came out straight after. Does this seems to you like my water broke?

Lots of love xxx

[Georgie17 in reply to Lola-88]

Thank you. I don’t know exactly if that sensation was your waters breaking but it could have been. Mine was like a build up of pressure and a huge gush which was my waters breaking. I am sorry that you didn’t get many answers. Pre 12 weeks, it is more common but the pain is still awful physically and mentally. It will take time but hang in there. We will get our rainbow babies one day xx

[Lola-88 in reply to Georgie17]

I'm sure we will, thanks lovely x

[Mara84]

I'm really sorry for your lost, I have had to missed miscarriages and I wanted to tell you that I feel your pain..... and you are absolutely correct the way nurses and doctors are dealing with miscarriage its not acceptable. For me it was the hardest thing I had to face in my life and I never felt so vulnerable and helpless...

My experience both time was different to yours...

I hope in time you feel better.... sending you a big hug xx

[Lola-88 in reply to Mara84]

Hi Mara, thank you for your message. I'm really sorry you had to go through this twice, I can't imagine how difficult this must be but we need to be strong.

I really wish you all the best, sending you lots of love x

[Mara84 in reply to Lola-88]

❤️❤️❤️

[TheSeal]

I am so sorry for your loss and about this terrible experience at the hospital I didn't have that kind of experience thankfully but i just wanted to reply and tell you that you're not alone. I lost my baby early like you, I was 10 weeks and as someone said already, unfortunately there is not much we can do to save them at this stage. I am sure the nurse knew what she was doing, i am sure that if she removed everything it means that the pregnancy wasn't viable, otherwise I agree you probably have had lots of pain. But i am not an expert, I am just saying that neither them nor you could have done anything to save the baby. It's so early in pregnancy. Don't blame yourself, I did it for a while and still do. I do agree tho that around MC there is a lack of information, the fact that is so common nurses and dr. won't investigate at all. This kills me truly and deeply and i pushed to be tested but they didn't. Take good care of yourself and take time to grieve.

Hugs

[Lola-88 in reply to TheSeal]

Thank you for your words and support.

I'm so sorry you had to go through a MC as well. We need to stay positive and I'm sure we will have our babies one day.

Unfortunately, miscarriages seem to be a taboo topic which does not help the way we feel.

Sending you a big hug xx