5yo Withholding, Soiling, Disimpaction, Soiling Again

[RubyBeach]

Hi, wondering if anyone has had a similar experience.

My now 5 year old girl has had problems with withholding and soiling since potty training. We’ve had support from the Gp, health visitor, school nurse and ERIC helpline.

Since starting school in September the soiling had become worse, so we started a disimpaction regime which took the full 2 weeks, she had a tummy bug for 24 hours which set us back a bit, but we managed rusty water eventually. It took 2 days of 10 sachets at the end. She was off school over this time.

We then reduced her maintenance dose to 4 sachets of Movicol, then 3 and now 2 over the course of a few weeks, judged on consistency.

Since stopping disimpaction we’ve tried to implement a good toilet routine with regular toilet sits. Sometimes she’ll go during these and sometimes not. The first few days after disimpaction we had hardly any accidents and thought we were through the woods.

But we are still having problems with soiling a few weeks on. Yesterday we went through about 5 pairs of pants. Her consistency ranges from being on the mushy side to sausages type 3. She’s happy to have toilet sits with a bit of encouragement, but this doesn’t seem to stop the soiling. Even if she has a decent poo on the toilet it’s no guarantee she won’t soil again a few hours later.

The school nurse thinks the signal between the brain and bowel hasn’t come back yet so she doesn’t actually know when she needs to go. Sometimes she will get to the toilet too late, and sometimes she will just come over and tell me she has poo in her pants, she’ll sit on the toilet, sometimes more comes out and sometimes not. The festive season has not been easy- a lot of the time at peoples houses I’ve been cleaning her, sitting in the toilet with her, changing pants.

I’m worried for her in school, they do change her as I’d signed an intimacy policy but I worry this will define her as a pupil and affect her school life. At home we have a nearly 3 year old who is potty trained and just worlds apart- the odd accident but usually says when he needs to go.

We have a happy and settled home life with predictable and regular childcare for her.

Has anyone had a similar experience and is there light at the end of the tunnel? Any tips or advice?

[Le15]

Your story could be written by us. I have a 3 year old successfully trained at 22months and a nearly 7 year old who withholds/soils regularly. The toilet regime has been the key for us - using a stool, iPad at the same time every day. Also keeping up with movicol and adding a stimulant - 5-10ml of liquid senna over weekends when the soiling has returned. You must speak to your GP about this because they can become dependant on a stimulant but it really helps our son with the messaging between bowel and brain and latest research in Kent advocates the use of stimulants in children who withhold. We also do a lot of naked time at home - I don’t know why but it just helps. My son rarely self initiates a poo but because of the toilet regime, doesn’t really have to. And I know this will come in time (hopefully before he goes to senior school!!)

This won’t define your daughter. You sound like you’re doing great and you will empower her to take control of this issue as she gets older. We have slowed down our lifestyle, holidays and breaks from school tend to make things worse. We always up the movicol over weekends to ‘clear out’ for the week ahead but always end up disimpacting after a school holiday as things build up.

We haven’t solved our issue but we have managed to control it for school and I have confidence that my son will grow out of this issue as he matures. For now, we try to not let it define our family. We clean up the mess, up the movicol and move on. But I know how hard this is. Particularly when they start school.

I’ve attached some books that I found really reassuring. Best of luck x

[Le15 in reply to Le15]

books

Books

[RubyBeach in reply to Le15]

Thanks so much for your response!

It’s really reassuring that others have been through the same thing. The past couple of days have been an improvement, she’s got the hang of blowing bubbles while on the toilet and it’s definitely helped her relax! I will look into the stimulant as well for when she needs a bit extra.

Thank you for your book recommendations too I’ll have get copies