Son says it hurts to push/withholding

[Lucciola]

My son is 3.10 and was completely toilet trained. 3 weeks ago he stopped going for a poo on the toilet. After 7 days and a lot of lactulose he passed a huge stool. Since we have neen stuck in a cycle of withholding.

At the moment he is on

6 laxido

10ml lactulose

5ml pico

We started laxido and disimpaction last week, but it is very difficult to get the max amounts into him as he is fussy so hard to hide the sachets. We also have picosulfate. With or without picosulfate, he will withhold until he can't hold any more and it is like he is in labour. He sweats, goes pale, clammy, and when he does pass a a load of poo he is fine again. It is so distressing.

He understands he needs to go. He also knows not going makes it worse. He does regular toilet sits, bubbles, he wants to push but say it hurts and says 'why does it hurt to push, mam?' and I have no answer. I just want to cry. The doctors say just do the disimpaction but we are struggling to do that even. The doctors in paediatric assessment unit couldn't see a fissure but haven't done any internal examinations or scans, just normal obs and pressed his tummy. They couldn't feel anything hard. So we are pretty much blind.

Yesterday he was struggling so much the OOH GP sent him for an enema.

I messaged ERIC last week and no response. Also tried calling many many times.

Today he clearly needed to go and he said it hurts. We are so stuck. Any advice appreciated.

[CharlotteLig]

We’ve had huge success with my 3 YO son with the pooping solutions course by Jaime Glowacki which differentiates between constipation and withholding and involves miralax/movicol as well as a stimulant laxative and glycerine suppositories for a short while

[CharlotteLig in reply to CharlotteLig]

glittergirlwacki.clickfunne...

[Lucciola in reply to CharlotteLig]

Thank you, the enema was quite traumatic for him so we want to avoid the invasive route but good for back up!

[Mumoftwogirlz]

I am sorry to you are going through this, Once the macrgol laxative is mixed with the correct amount water you can add it to anything (ice lollies, jelly, gravy etc) which is a good way to get it into him. Try not to encourage the "pushing" as he needs to be as relaxed as possible. When he is trying to push he may actually be holding it in. The helpline will get back to you as quickly as they can but I know said they are very busy. I hope that helps

[Lucciola in reply to Mumoftwogirlz]

Thank you for your reply. I'm autistic and OCD so this change has really sent me into an OCD obsession of poo forums and how to help him and get a routine back for us all. I am seeking mental health support to help me through it because I don't want my own issues holding my son back from getting through this. He is so bright. He found me in the other room shedding a tear the other day and cwtched me and said "it's okay, mam." Needless to say I cried more. 😭You have a great point which I am going to take on board and make sure my husband does too and that's not to coax him to go/push. Maybe we need to back off completely and just distract him from the withholding and let him figure it out on his own? Sometimes he is clearly trying to push to show us he is trying but I think only when he is not in pain or not feeling the poo "knocking on the door" as we say. I think as he is on 8 sachets now and we just managed 8 today (he drinks loads of water and found if he can drink 2 whole bottles so I can hide 4 in that) he may not have much control as it becomes more liquidy. We are uncertain if he has anxiety or a fissure. He is a smart kid so hoping if we can get him regular he will get over the anxiety and quickly return to a routine and pick up using the toilet for a #2. I am relaxed on that and just want him to be happy and comfortable regardless of where he poos at the moment.

[14crosstitch14]

Lots of fruit, fibre and fluids everyday and lots of exercise will help.