Alternatives to nappies at school

[Kath10]

Hi there

We are managing ongoing fecal incontinenance with our 5 1/2 years old. He regularly has fecal accidents in school and so for past few months any day he doesn't do a poo before school or if we feel he is constipated he wears a nappy to school. He is happy himself to have the security of the nappy and it means that he doen't end up having to change his clothes if he has an accident. He is however getting self conscious that his class mates will notice that he is wearing one. I have been looking at pads and other alternatives and wonder if any of you wise parents might be able to recommend any practical alternatives to nappies for a very busy 5 yo?

Thank you in advance!

[Beatrice81]

Hi Kath,

We're using black Tena Men pads in our 6yo's pants (putting them back to front gives a nice lining without being bulky). These give him the reassure he needs without it being a nappy and it's also encouraged a bit of independence in dealing with smaller accidents. He still regularly needs help changing but thankfully school has been really supportive since we have a care plan in place.

Best of luck!

[Sunna in reply to Beatrice81]

Hi my 6 year old is suffering from constipation and is always soiling I’m struggling with school I asked the school to put in an individual health care plan but they refused to do that instead they said they will do a management plan for her which means she just gets to go frequently to go the toilet the want her in underwear and she has to change herself as the school policy does not allow the teachers to help clean her I’m confused and feel lost my daughter is always soiling without even knowing she has I’m going in to school to change her once a day to give her more support as she is getting more self conscious can you please tell me more about how I can get a care plan put in place as I was advised by the school nurse that she does not have any diagnosis yet I’m still waiting to see the gastro team at the hospital, thank you.

[Kath10 in reply to Sunna]

Hi Sunna

Thankfully we didn't need to go into the school to change our son but teacher did make it clear from an early stage she wouldn't be able to change him. We had to make helping our son learn to dress a priority at home at the weekends. We focused on the bottom half and to be honest let lots of other independence tasks take second place (eg feeding himself at times!).

Just past few weeks I have been giving him the challange of changing BEFORE the teacher notices - he always just pretended it had happened and waited to be "caught". Thankfully the reward was enough for him to go and change on his own initiative now sometimes.

Maybe pads as Beatrice has suggested might be of help for your daughter?

As I keep telling myself, they are still small and we will get this sorted!

[Sunna in reply to Kath10]

Thank you Kath I will try doing that and see if the pads help make it easier for her to use wish you all the best.

[Beatrice81 in reply to Sunna]

The ERIC website has lots of useful resources including a template for a care plan: eric.org.uk/sample-care-plan

My son had been struggling with constipation and stool withholding since nursery so I taylored and drafted a care plan and discussed it with the school ahead of him starting primary.

There was no big issue about a diagnosis, just an acknowledgement that he has a condition that needs managed with medication (administered at home) and regular toilet sits during the day. I emphasised the need for discretion as it's obviously a sensitive issue and shaming or embarrassment is not helpful.

Now a designated staff member (teaching assistant) takes him to the toilet at least once a day (usually after lunch) and helps clean up if needed.

Although it hasn't solved the constipation/ withholding/ soiling issue it makes it manageable at school without causing him further worry and embarrassment.

Through a referral from the GP we recently managed to see a consultant and did get a diagnosis of 'functional constipation'. It's a label and does not solve what we face day-to-day, so please don't get too hung up on it.

Hope this helps, even in a small way x

[Kath10 in reply to Beatrice81]

Thanks for that Beatrice. I will try those. It would be great if he could avoid having to take everything thing off and put back on - the pull ups are just too tricky to tear. He has to change himself at school and it can take quite a while and not surprisingly this tests the teacher's patience! As you say it might lead to him being a little more independent in other situations also.