Parents with kids in school that suffer from soiling- how is the school accommodating to your child and having to deal with the soiling?

[Willinglywaiting]

I have twin boys ages 7 who have been dealing with stool withholding and I don't even have to word the hardships that come with. I do my best to be as positive as I can be even if it feels like sometimes I am enabling them . I choose to show love when I don't feel like it . It's hard but I love them so much and I know words matter, I'm not perfect and have my weak moments but I do my best to reconcile with them and apologize. Reminding them that they are not their problems and this too shall pass. Reminding them that if I had poo in my pants it'd smell foul, if the queen of London had poo in her pants it'd smell foul. That everyone poops and it all smells foul that he is not the only one who "stinks" it's just others hide it better or take care of it (nip it in the butt) but the rooted problem can trickle into a numerous different reasons and the longer they deal with it the harder you have to work at defusing them to the best of your ability and pray for reasoning behind this hardship and be grateful for patience cuz it brings endurance and resilience which is hard to obtain nowadays. I'd say the hardest and most difficult thing for me is having to deal with the teasing from other students at school and the misunderstanding from the teachers as they look at me as if I must of been lazy, or an absent mom and that couldn’t be further from the truth. Nonetheless I’ve used that energy to stand strong and affirmative to myself and as an example to my boys, understanding this what it is and all I can do is accept it , understand it’s not my or their faults and move on from that. Thanks for hearing me out

[SallyandPaul]

Just realised that ive replied to you about the balance programme! It really isnt their fault ,as you know. My daughter is just 12 and has been suffering for 8 years. Things have got better over the years,primary school was a nightmare. She really didnt have the sensation of needing to go. xrays show that she suffers from slow traction. Constant constipation leads to loss of sensation. Since last may she has used peristeen,a colonic irrigation system. This has worked well and she has had no accidents at secondary school, a miracle,and they have been very understanding. Not cured yet,not sure if she ever will be. She is our adopted daughter,we have three grownup sons, childminded many and fostered 48.Never came across this problem with anyone else so assume that its not my fault ,or yours either!!Its a horrible problem thats difficult for others to understand.

Have you watched the poo nurses video,thats very helpful. Meanwhile sending you virtual hugs and much understanding. God bless Sally.

[Robinia]

My son still soils and wears pads and he’s 12. But it’s so much better now he uses the qufora balloon irrigation system and is on extremely high doses of meds. For us it’s been about disimpacting regularly and finding the right maintenance dose combined with helping him with the right toilet behaviours. He blows a harmonica on the toilet and rocks forward and backward and pushes for 10/15 mins to get out as much as poss (all liquid stool). It’s very intense but better than being in and out of hospital constantly like we were. Watch the poo nurses video. Good luck x

[KAW111]

I had to forward information to the school. ERIC has a section for school / education professionals. Do your kids have an individual health plan written up with school? Again ERIC have a template you can send. Get the school nurse involved too, try and get them to do some 1:1 educational sessions. Do you have TAF meetings to discuss each term?

[Willinglywaiting]

Could you send me the information in which you are referring to? And thx for your reply , they are both on IEP but have just began at a new opening charter school where they don’t have a “nurse “ purse, and it’s clear it is their first time coming across something like this . So it’s been and still is quiet the journey needless to say. Thanks again

[Tom012]

Could it be something your boys are eating which doesn't agree with them? Just seems odd how both are like that

[Mummy84]

My son has a senco plan from senco team. I fought hard to get this. My son is going upto year four and I made sure it goes up with him. He has suffered since being a few years old with bowel problems.