Advice needed

[toyabetty]

Hi,

My 4yo son can have anything from 2 - 6 accident a day both bladder and bowel.

Bladder - he does wet himself as in a big wee but mostly it’s lots of dribbles which we say ‘quick to the toilet cos you’ve started’ he’ll go most of the time very reluctantly (it’s the only thing he tantrums over) unless you notice he won’t say he seems at school to just sit in wet pants which breaks my heart.

Bowels - we try to sitting him on the toilet through the day (always reluctant on his part) he does go at least once a day but still has lots of accident and marking.

With both he seems to start then stop himself a ‘habit’ we can’t get him out of I’m not sure he gets the sensation. He wears a pull up for bed and will often soil it before we even get upstairs.

We keep going back to basics taking him every 30 mins to the toilet, praising him when he goes on his own, he’s just not getting it and is getting more and more upset and hiding dirty pants. I’ve asked our HV for advice she said boys can be lazy!

Thanks for reading

[Alicass]

Have you had him checked for constipation? If he's constipated he may well could have lost the feeling of needing to go. I'd take him to the GP and get his tummy felt. In my experience the HVs are useless. They gave me no help at all with my second child. Your son may need disimpacting.

[toyabetty in reply to Alicass]

Thanks, it had crossed my mind cos I suffer from it but he poops every day.

I’m planning a trip to the docs anyway so will ask when I’m there.

[Evala]

Speak to your gp about if they think it is constipation. Sounds just like my son. They can soil even if you think they are doing a reasonable amount of poo, it's called overflow. All very confusing. If gp good and agrees they may suggest disimpaction with laxatives to make sure no blockages left. You may need to do this more than once and should be advised about a maintenance dose. There is info on all this on the ERIC website I think. Don't be fobbed off by gp, perhaps ask who is best to see at your surgery. Good luck, you are not alone, he's only 4, this may take a while to fix so sending you lots of patience!

[Barbiecar]

Hi Toyabetty

I had similar problems with my daughter. Going to the toilet was a real battle and caused tantrums all the time. Taking him every 30 mins sounds exhausting for both of you! Having read “the ins and outs of poop” we now have a successful regime of going to the toilet religiously 15 minutes after every meal. She sits for 10 minutes, blows up balloons to help her push, or I blow bubbles, she has the iPad or I read her a book, so she can relax. You can’t wee and poo unless you ARE completely relaxed! The rest of the time she can decide when or if she needs to go. We no longer have accidents but it has taken a while to achieve. Please read my other posts for more about my experience. A lot of it is behavioural and developmental, sometimes defiance but more often than not routed in a painful bowel movement at some point. The wetting could be a result of poo pushing on his bladder. Constipation and wetting often go hand in hand.

Read the book and I promise you will feel so much more empowered!

[Barbiecar]

Ps the toilet routine is coupled with prescribed laxatives to prevent blockages, stimulate the bowel and soften the stool to help it pass. It is the toilet routine that has finally stopped the accidents. Laxatives alone caused more accidents because she wasn’t controlling it. I have had to teach her to push the poo out before it comes out on its own. I go to school every lunch time to take her to the toilet.. it is the only way!