Apologies and my endo story

I must apologise for the hurt and upset caused by my recent post on loving yourself. I understand that the way I introduced the subject by how you would treat a child was insensitive to women facing childless and for this I am very sorry. I have deleted the post.

I was diagnosed with endometriosis when I was 19 and throughout the years the thought that I may never be able to have children has been forefront of my mind. My periods were so bad that I was bedridden for the first three days of each cycle and have been on various hormone treatments for the past 11 years.

For the past two and a quarter years I have been trying to conceive, and am willing to try anything to help my body fight endometriosis. These include, acupuncture, chinese herbs, yoga, meditation, Mayan abdonimal massage and radical changes to my diet I am now gluten, dairy, soya, alcohol, caffeine, red meat and processed sugar free! I have managed to change my periods from seven days of pain to 2 out of my 3 last periods being pain-free!

Still no pregnancy though even after two lots of fertility treatments. I am now on Prostap and awaiting a laparoscopy to remove ovarian cysts.

Last year I spiralled down into depression and felt like a big cloud had sucked the colour out of every aspect of my life. I knew that I should be grateful for my wonderful husband, amazing friends and supportive family, but all I could think was:


My doctor sent me on the mindfulness-based stress reduction course which has changed my life. I am now a volunteer for the infertility network UK and run a support group and have set up Mindful Muma-to-be to try to share what I have learnt with others going through the pain of infertility.

The positive statements in my post are the ones I use myself on a daily basis to cope with my life as it is now and I am willing to do whatever it takes to be a mother, even if that means adoption.

Again I apologise for my insensitivity.


Aka Mindful Muma-to-be


6 Replies

  • God did smile at U and God did Bless U and God and we are here love U !

    It`s sound so good what U doing I am sooo happy for U ! And U will have child , everything will work out for U.

    Thank U for everything U doing for us and u -self.

  • There is more than one way to become a mum. I suffered infertility due to endo, went down the IVF route, unsuccessfully . There was a reason for this, even though I was bitter, angry and felt very bruised.........we have adopted two sisters that were mean for us and us for them x

  • Thank you Samovar and Maydog for your lovely messages. Every day gives us new challenges and we are the only ones in our lives who can really help ourselves. Others can point as in various directions and advise us that in the end we have our own choices to make.

    Maydog thank you for posting about adoption, everyone I mention it to seems to have a horror story to share with me rather than the amazing fact that you are offering your love to children who need it the most.

  • I've also adopted and have now had my daughter for seven wonderful years. Girls, the pain of infertility is immense but as Maydog said there is more that one route to becoming a mum. For me adoption changed my life for ever in a brilliant way. Take care x x

  • Thank you for putting this post on and I applaud you for your honesty and humility.

    I think it's so important that we support each other as women whatever battle we choose to fight and that we value each other regardless of our position regarding motherhood.

    Good luck and best wishes x

  • Thanks for sharing your story. Amazing how you managed to turn your life around.

    Allieline and Maydog thanks for sharing your experiences of adoption. I have been thinking about adoption a lot lately and agree with Mindful Mum to be, that you only seem to hear the horror stories x

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