I do not feel confident

Hi Ladies,

I have been suffering with pains for years and years it was a vicious cycle and still is a battle with the national horrendous service (nhs) to have some decent treatment or for anyone to even listen to me, it's seems like the doctors don't know their ankle from the wrist or my kidney from a fibroid! The surgeon managed to burst mine during my last surgery and I'm scared to go for another.

It might be another hospital but it's just not nice to have to be treated

I've an alien by your consultant who clearly did not read your notes and does not know what she said to you the last time.

I've seen so many doctors I just have no faith and completely ZERO trust in them. How will I ever be better again, if they are going to treat me.

I'm sick and tired of being I'll and disabled my kidney has been leaking since last year. I do not understand what the hell is going on, it's been eleven and a half months and it is NOT healing itself. You would think the doctors would do something about it because you would think urine in the belly is not meant to be there and should not be leaking!

Rant over, I'm sad and crying and I HATE what they did to me. And the cheek of it they tried to blame me!!!!!!!!

Yea because I went inside myself and perforated my kidney didn't a I ? Yea right! And I did the scans and wrote the reports saying oh look there is here kidney didnt I!

they just don't care about me! I'm so angry with them!

Sometimes I think there is a button next to my records that says " when patient rings, be rude, lie, unhelpful, and let's ruin her life"

I'm gonna be 30 this year and it seems all my life since 16 has been ruined and overshadowed by pain and sadness by these useless "health professionals", why are they doctors when they don't even care!

And it happens to us all and I am sick of it! Maybe because we a amazing they do not want us to reproduce and make more amazing people because powerful people always see real amazing people as a threat.

Ok I'm sorry rant OVER

Love hopefully, ( one day the docs will go through this nightmare themselves and we can be horrible and useless to them) but that's mean and we are not mean like them!

7 Replies

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  • Aww bless you, you sound just like me when I go off on a rant., Not sure that there is much I can do for you chick except to say I really hope you are referred to the kindest most intelligent kidney specialist very very soon.

    x

  • Hello Hun so sorry hun u going thought this I do hope u get a good kind nice doctor next time Hun hugs x

  • Hi hun, sorry to hear that your going through a bad time, sometimes we need to kick health professionals asses into realising that we r in pain and need something to be done about it! keep strong and keep on at them if you have a family memeber that can go with you and help you stand up for yourself it may help. good luck.x

  • Dear Ladunderstandingly for understanding, I hate being miserable, I love happiness reall happiness not faking it!

    The doctors know I am in pain I am on high doses of analgesia, I think this maybe one reason they see fit to ignore my poor state of health, interestingly enough they do not mind plying me with drugs morphine and gabapentin I can only assume this is the reason why I'm not keeling over in pain at the A&E.

    I feel like the brick wal just gets higher like im defeated and this is a losing battle, I have other feelings of anger and rage, I feel so misunderstood and neglected.

    I find it hard to come on this site, because I'm so angry I read about everyone else havin problems being unwell long term and think this is just my life now I need to come to terms with it, but its driving me insane! I'm just becoming so depressed I feel I have no control and I'm just banging my head against a wall.

  • Hi - It is depressing when you keep repeating yourself and are not heard. You know your own body better than any Doctor, Medical Specialist. Thank God, Although I still have issues, they are much less than if I was still going to Casualty every month be ambulance, and being given morphine to take the edge off the pain.

    That situation was driving me crazy and so was my Ex. Stress does not help, so do whatever you need to do to relieve the stress. I have an attitude and I got so pissed it began to show, then people realised I had a real problem, so they needed to be real with me and not waste my time fobbing me off. I researched on the net to find answers to my questions. Forums like this and the others on Facebook are an invaluable source of information, use them, make them work for you.

    I removed the power from the Doctors, I realised that all the drugs in the world were not a cure and were only Stopgaps. I am not one to go under the knife continually. I take paracetamol but not always, I live alone and it's frightening the level of pain and blood loss, but guess what, somehow I do it. I read only as much as I need to, so that I don't get bogged down with everything, depression is paralysing and when it takes a hold it will prevent you from making progress.

    Take Back Your Life - I wish you Painfree Days. Xx

  • Some days I have a good day, when I kind of don't feel so heavy and tired, rare days but they remind me I'm human.

    I really want to take my life back and I want to be in control, that's a task in itself, but I am slowly comin to terms with the fact that, i need to take back control and the doctors have brought me nothing but more grief and pain, indeed to remove their power over me.

    I am starting my own business in health products and I hoping this will help me build back some confidence and give me some control in MY LIFE, I pray the Lord makes it easy for us and strengthens us giving us patience through the difficult days and making us thankful for the good days, Ameen.

    Thank you Blessid I needed that pep talk, your right it's too easy to go down the slippery depression route, but the forums and others going through similar help to know I'm not on my own and when others let me see they can fight the drama, I know I can do it too.

    Xx

  • Hopefully - I'm sorry if my post was a bit tough love, but it is the voice of experience talking. I'm pleased it helped you, I didn't know I had that in me today, so really I thank you for reminding me how Blessed I am. Xx

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