My little daughter turned 11 months today. I go for my diagnostic laparoscopy on Thursday. This has officially been the worst year of my life. Between the appalling pregnancy with the undiagnosed cyst on my ovary, the crap c-section when mysteriously I couldn't deliver (shock cyst in way!!), the cyst bursting in my abdominal cavity as they removed it, followed by excruciating pain every damn day since her birth, not to mention the group b strep infection they didn't treat me for (they treated her mind you), the piece of placenta they left behind, the d&c to get it out, and still more pain, the Breastfeeding that was such a battle because if all the drama.
I'm so tired and sad. I'm not sure what I'm going to do after the lap. My husband is a useless, although well-meaning idiot, my Mum works full time and is rake thin from trying to support me for a few hours a day. We often end up arguing, and husband and I are attending relate. The house is a dump. I'm the fattest I have ever been despite giving up wheat and dairy. I can't shift a pound. She feeds constantly through the night and is awake at 5 am every morning. She only sleeps in her pushchair going round town.
The relate counsellor says to put her in nursery, but I so much wanted to attachment parent her (I'm a bit of a hippy at heart). She is gorgeous and I love her fiercely. But perhaps the time has cone to take some recovery time for myself. I don't know. I'm just clawing my way from one day to the next.
What is everyone else doing? I'm not working currently, so I don't have to put her in nursery, but maybe I should. Any survival tips much appreciated.