Feeling sad and lost in hospital post op

[Madanza]

I’m just lay in hospital having had surgery this afternoon just feeling so upset, lost and in pain and need support I guess. I have anxiety at the best of times so today has been awful. I was v.upset through panicking beforehand and I’ve been in so much pain since I came round and was then moved pretty quickly to a ward and left crying for so long in a room full of people chatting to visiting relatives basically being ignored and not told anything. Wasn’t given any water and wasn’t told whether I was staying in or what was happening and didn’t have a call button. Someone came to take my blood pressure and said to stop crying as it was over now. I said I was in pain and they moved onto the next patient. The first person to ask if I was ok was the patient next to me. I eventually managed to wave at a passing nurse and said I was in pain and asked if my husband could come as I could see other relatives were here. He said yes you’ve got your phone so call him. I said I don’t even know where I am or what is happening am I staying in or going home? He said you’re staying in and told me the ward, no other info. Was then given paracetamol and water. I text my husband the ward and he rang to speak to someone as he could tell I was upset and in pain. Only then did a nurse come to speak to me but as I was struggling to speak through tears she wanted to leave me and come back when I could speak better. I asked her not to and managed to get some questions out. I was then told the consultant wouldn’t speak to me today now as it was late so would probably speak to me tomorrow. I asked what had even been done as there were so many unknowns before my surgery. She looked at my notes and tried to tell me what she could but didn’t have the knowledge. She said she would speak to me again with my husband when he got here but never did. She did give me a call button but I pressed it 3 times and no one came. After probably over 30mins someone turned up, turned the button off and just looked at me. I asked for a new pad as I felt like I was bleeding through but couldn’t even check as I was in an open ward with male visitors and I could barely move. She came back and left a massive pad on my bed and my husband tried to ask for more pain relief but she said she was supposed to have finished already so to wait for the night staff and she left. My husband had to then find someone to get me some more water and pain relief. He was told I’d already had pain relief but pushed that I was still in lots of pain and I was then told I would be given morphine, but then the nurse disappeared again and my husband chased her to ask for it and was told it’s on the table already. Turned out she’d left a syringe of med to be taken orally, but I wasn’t even told! Meanwhile my husband was being repeatedly told to leave as visiting time was over but he wouldn’t leave until he knew I at least had water, pain relief and my bed in the right position as he was worried no one would check on me.

I’m sorry for such a long, moany post, I’m just lay here not being able to sleep, still in lots of pain and just feeling so upset and lost. I’ve never stayed in hospital before and only had one other surgery- last year when I was in for a simple cyst removal which was abandoned as extensive endo was found, so I don’t know if this is normal. But after my last surgery I was put in a private room and had people constantly checking on me and they also called my husband straight away and asked him to come in at the first sign of me being upset, as well as multiple people reassuring me… guess I was just lucky then. I don’t even know what to do with myself… can’t sleep due to pain and discomfort but worried of the response I’ll get and waking other patients up if I press my bell as I feel like an inconvenience and probably won’t be given anything more anyway. As I write this, the poor lady opposite me has started being violently sick so I’m feeling awful for her and awful for moaning when it could be worse. I can’t imagine vomiting right now as it would be excruciatingly painful for me. Am I an awful person? What should I be expecting right now? I just don’t know and I just feel so lost and alone… sorry again x

[Joonaspryte]

I’m sorry you are in so much pain and can’t sleep.

Hospital can be such a traumatic and lonely experience. I have been in so so many times. Nurses are always rushing around, and not always attentive, let’s hope this mornings changeover staff are more helpful and sympathetic.

I know they can be very busy and overworked, but a few kind words and sympathetic attitude doesn’t take much and can make a world of difference.

It’s usual not to see the surgeon if it’s late in the day, as they tend to do their rounds in the mornings. I can totally understand why your anxious to hear how it went after the last attempted op didn’t go to plan.

You may be able to go home today, back in your comfortable home and with your obviously loving husband.

Things will seem much better then, and they will probably send you home with pain killers, which you can manage yourself as and when you need them.

I really hope today will be a much better day for you , and hoping you have a speedy recovery. ❤️xx

[Moon_maiden]

How are you feeling?

I’m so sorry you’ve been through such appalling treatment, I’d tell the nurses you are contacting PALS, and get some names and that you might go to the nursing council. They are supposed to help not hinder, makes me so cross. You should definitely be getting more empathic help. Your husband was a godsend though 🙂

Have you seen the consultant?

[HD16]

Oh lovely, that sounds really difficult. How are you feeling today?

Please contact PALS about your experience, noone should feel like that. I appreciate ward staff are busy but they also should be compassionate.

[2013mayo]

oh wow, poor you, I’ve been through a similar experience twice, one time was when I had my hip done, the nurse was so negative it was horrible , especially when you’ve just had an op, and then again when I went to A/E, even the doc told her to get off the bed so I could lay down, she took forever to give me pain med, the doc asked if I felt better for taking the med and I said I’d not been given it yet, he was exasperated.

It’s not good when you come across nurses that don’t care. Hope you are getting the help you need now. 🌈💐

[Madanza]

Thank you so much everyone for your kind replies. I feel so awful for moaning but I was just in such a state and felt so alone! Thankfully the next day all of the staff were lovely and I am now home with my husband. Looking back I think I was unlucky to come out of surgery late and when they were so busy but my husband asked who had been to see me and they admitted I had been left crying with no pain relief for 90minutes before anyone saw me. What made it even more bizarre is that a doctor came to see me the next day and was saying they weren’t expecting to see me as I should have gone home already!

Anyway the doctor (I honestly don’t know who she was… a consultant?…i’d never seen her before) said my surgery went well and they managed to remove my endometriomas chocolate cysts without too much damage to my ovaries they think… they also did a dye test and only one of my tubes seems to be working, so the plan is to try for a pregnancy for 6 months and if not then ivf is the next step… but I don’t think we would meet the criteria so I don’t know where that leaves us. Just trying to take one day at a time at the moment and see what happens.

Thank you again for the support. Hoping you all have a positive, pain-free day x

[Joonaspryte in reply to Madanza]

So glad your feeling better now, i have been wondering.

Its shocking that the doctors were not expecting you to be there in the morning when they hadnt even seen you, its them that have to sign you off to go home, and how could they when they hadnt seen you.

Ive had 2 minor ops and 8 major ops, and have always seen doctor before ive been told i can go home. So thats just not right.

Hope your recovery goes well, keep us posted 😊 x

[Gemsstones]

hospital experiences seem to just depend which staff are in. I had a really rubbish experience before surgery as I went in at 12 and my surgery wasn’t until 4.20 but they also ran a bit late so it was more like 4.45. I had a really bad headache whilst waiting and started feeling sick but was told I couldn’t even take paracetamol as they’d want to give it to me during surgery (well…. if I’d had it when I first arrived and saw the nurse it would have been time for more during surgery!) and the wait was so awful being in pain and feeling sick. Nobody ever checked in on me whilst I was waiting and I couldn’t even get my gown on properly. I thought I’d wait until I saw them rather than interrupt someone who was busy, but nobody ever came. It was actually a relief to go into surgery even though I had been so anxious about it! But then afterwards the nursing staff were all lovely and I nearly had to stay overnight because it was late in the day and I’d had a lot of fentanyl but the post op nurse managed to get me home. It’s really sad that not all nurses are empathetic. I totally get they’re under pressure, but being dismissive of patients or not attending to them isn’t on. I hope your post op recovery is going ok and your negative hospital experience fades into a distant memory.

[Cocoacupid]

hun sorry your In pain I was given oral morphine even though I said I can’t take opiates was violently sick after having three hour surgery and it pulled so so much on my tummy I could get comfortable. I was due to be I. A couple nights but requested to go home early as was getting really overwhelmed and could sleep properly and found out I had autism so a busy hospital ward is the worst place for me to be. I really hope your pain gets a bit better. It will feel worse before it improves . Try and take it easy as for peppermint tea as that can help with the gas pain . You’re not an inconvenience and you should ring the bell . You have every right to be in the hospital having severe endo removed is a major operation just because it’s a lap doesn’t mean your not going to not get pain. Some nhs are wards or hospitals are better than others. I’m lucky I had a good experience on the ward other than them giving me morphine. Hope you can get some sleep . When you’re ready to be discharged complain to pals for the way hospital staff have treated you. And Made you feel as it’s not on. Take care