I feel like I’m in a bit of a spiral. I knew it would be hard once my friends started having children, but it seems to have resurfaced my depression BIG TIME.
I don’t really want to go anywhere or do anything… and those uncomfortable feelings such as ‘nobody likes you’ and ‘you’re just invited out of politeness’ are back…
Of course I know this isn’t true. But the thoughts are still there and I can’t seem to shake them.
Sorry to vent…
Have you a psychotherapist to talk to? It definitely helps. Alternative therapy like Reiki, Aromatherapy Acupressure & Tapping can also help. Groups help a good bit but having someone to talk to outside your family & friends is actually very helpful.
You can always adopt. You've got 60% chances that your children get endometriosis (it's genetics) unless you've got a boy (but I wouldn't risk it myself).
Totally understand this. I found out my tubes are completely blocked in February and I’m 30 years old, definitely not something I’d prepared myself for and I definitely isolated myself when that reality hit me. It’s so incredibly difficult and I’ve heard so many unhelpful and hurtful comments from friends trying to be kind but instead completely dismissing my diagnosis and the heaviness that brings. It’s really hard and I think sometimes knowing you’re not on your own and there’s a whole community out there going through similar is what you need to hear rather than being told your other options. Grieving needs to be done first x
Big hugs. There are no words to heal the longing it’s hard . Acknowledging them face on is brave , sometimes overwhelming and heartbreaking. Give that the space for now the grief, anger and despair and know that none of these make you unlovable or less than. You are your beautiful self and lovable whichever way the wind is playing.
Sometimes it’s easier to talk to strangers and isolation can play havoc with your head. The Ol’ self talk can get a bit rancid with the pain of it all. I’ve found the Samaritans a lifesaver but also go and talk to your GP. It’s important to sustain threads of contact to back you as you unfurl and deal with this all. X
Hello dear aardvarks. Not sure why everything I write is underlined!!
I hear you and don’t want to say anything that isn’t useful tbh as I sometimes those with children or those who are not on this fertility journey don’t always mean it but can trigger with comments without even realising!
Depending at what stage you are at on your journey- have some chance still to have children or not it can be tricky to find support. But if you are not actively trying check out lighthouse women- used to be gatehouse women for childless not by choice women . Perhaps you are still trying so it may not be the right time but being much further on now I just wanted to send you a hug as of course this is really tough. I would try to talk to your close friends and let them know you are happy for them but also that it is difficult for you, your preferred way to hear their news or even just to be able to share your feelings with the friends who are similar to yourself .All you are feeling is valid, natural and understandable so be really kind to yourself with these tender feelings x
I don’t know if you’ve already approached your consultant about this but depression and anxiety are really common symptoms of Endo. I was feeling very similar but was prescribed antidepressants and feel this way less regularly now.
Especially seeing things around you can trigger this I guess. If you don’t mind, have you been trying?
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