Glacial Progression at Work

[crbp]

I'm 26 and have endo. I'm a software engineer and I had to take medical leave in my first 12 months at my current company to adjust to new meds (Deinogest). All the engineers in my cohort have been promoted and I struggle to get my work done because my endo has been getting worse again.

i'm having a rough time at work: I had to change managers because my previous manager wouldn't accommodate to my medical needs and said to me "I know women with this disease and they work just fine" and "why do you define yourself by this condition" when all I was asking for was flexibility to work from home when i'm in pain. This lead to multiple breakdowns in the office and i feel like i'm seen as this weak girl working around all the men. (for context i am one of 4 female software engineers out of about 50 total)

I've also convinced myself that promotion isn't really something I care about right now but seeing my peers progress has really hurt and makes me think that i'll never be promoted.

While the physical pain sucks, all the psychological side effects of the disease suck more; the depression that goes with the physical fatigue, the mental fatigue, the inability to truly believe that my pain is real, and those "maybe its not that bad" or "maybe i should be able to handle this" thought.

I'm so tired and seeing everyone around me progress and succeed makes me think it will never happen for me.

I'm very open about my condition at work so when i'm ill no one thinks "oh shes slacking off" but i definitely feel that i'm viewed differently and not thought of the same way my coworkers are.

does this resonate with anyone? How do you cope with work and handling your endo?

[Completer40]

Hi, I'm so sorry to read this. It absolutely resonates with me. I worked in IT surrounded by men for the last 20 years with endo which was undiagnosed for 8 years. It really held me back for a while. But, people who don't have it don't understand the level of pain. Most think it's a bit of period pain and men don't even understand what that is. Look after yourself, and focus on getting the best treatment that you can that's your priority and everything will fall into place when you're feeling better. My luck finally changed when I paid an initial fee to see a specialist endo consultant and had a few rounds of surgery to remove it all. Zoladex was also a life saver for the last few years before my hysterectomy.

If it helps I'm now 42 and really enjoying my career and life again. I'm feel like I'm getting back to where I should be. Hang in there xx

[Dee_EndoUK Moderator Endometriosis UK]

Hi crbp

So sorry to hear you're having a tough time at work. If you haven't already read them, we have a couple of guides on our website that you may find useful. These can be found at endometriosis-uk.or/resources

There are: 'Hints and tips for employees on dealing with employers' and 'Endometriosis - a guide to your rights at work'

Now that you have a new manager, hopefully you can have an open conversation about Endometriosis and exactly how it affects you (and why not everyone with endometriosis experiences the exact same symptoms or level of pain), as well as starting a discussion about the possibility of promotion.

Wishing you all the best - really hope your new manager can be supportive both of your endometriosis and of your desire to progress in the company.

Take care x